Awareness Month 2020…

Well, I was going to talk more about some stroboscopic shots, but then I remembered that there is one single and essential image that I should talk about a little for this week. That one which I've created specifically for Retinitis Pigmentosa Awareness Month (which is February). So, this one will be a quickie.
I have to say, though, that I'm not quite fond of the shot but I was critically out of ideas, and thought it is better to do something, anything, about it instead of waiting and probably getting over the month without shooting anything related to the topic. However, the basic idea of the shot was: The pains that hide behind the smile. That smile that everyone takes for granted and knows nothing about the things that lie behind.

In shooting this image I've tried to apply some simple designing elements as per what I've read lately (or rather re-read lately) in Learning to Photograph book. Probably there was not much to be done but I will talk about the image with some details.

Hidden Pains

Probably one of the things that I regret (well, kind of) in this image is not working on the black lines under the eyes properly. These were supposed to resemble tears. Anyway, I don't have any make-up artist to help with that so probably I'm pardoned here. As you can see, the image undergone quite some work, and I mean editing work, in Photoshop. So, probably this shifts the image a bit from being a photograph and rather be more like a (graphic) design. The edit involved (beside the usual with any photo) cloning out the eyes. To make things a bit organized, I'll try to summarize the ideas in shooting in this way in points:

• From the beginning I knew I needed some space, so the lens of choice here was Voigtländer 20mm (set to f/10).
• Needed some dramatic look and contrast, so I was inclined to shoot in infrared, using B+W 092 filter. The image was converted to B&W then.
• The camera was placed slightly below the face level and slightly pointing up. This perspective kind of adds exaggeration or gratification to the subject. Not meaning to brag here! It's just a design element at work, in opposition to have the camera look down at the subject which is somewhat delivers a sense of belittling.
• Single speedlite was used on camera (more on that below) with honeycomb grids to focus the light more on the face and the surrounding area, making for a more drastic and dramatic look.
• The hand gesture is added to put some emotion with the way the hand is shaped and also to add some elements in the lower space instead of leaving it blank. But probably I should've used my right hand to go along the face direction, but I'm a leftie and it comes naturally to me to use my left hand!
• The black lines (formed by face-coloring crayon and sprinkled with water) symbolize the dry tears. The hidden tears that is.

The speedlite, though, caused some hurdle and I had to give up on one thing I was trying to do, and that is flashing my back. It was one of these instances that I wished I had a radio-system like the new speedlites do (or with a set of transmitter/receiver). And with my flash cord not working, it was quite hard to trigger the flash behind me without moving it a bit on the side which is not quite the effect I was looking for (even though it does add some good rim lighting). Reflecting the beam off some surface at my back was also out of question since there was much clutter (in my room) and that would show clearly (using a snoot to focus the beam won't do much even). In a nutshell, I had to satisfy myself with only one speedlite on camera.
The rest is then a work for Photoshop, cloning out the eyes, for obvious reasons. Even though the image originally is in B&W, I've found myself adding a bit of tint when uploading the image, once cold tone and once a warm tone but a slight touch that might not be noticeable without a comparison to another version next to it.
Meanwhile, as I was doing many test shots and trying out many poses and angles and adjusting the camera level... etc, I was left with a number of test shots that I refused to delete, and I kept checking them now and then. In fact, some of them did show a glance of a chance for 3D anaglyph work but it didn't work out, but nevertheless, a new idea emerged which is not far from the idea of the original shot; Retinitis Pigmentosa.

Migraine

 As seen in Migraine, the play of Photoshop is in again. Strangely too, the colors look natural despite the shots being taken with B+W 092 infrared filter (usually when fixing the WB the image would look bluish). Migraine was such a play with images really and not a real "project" idea; that sort of thing that you would do in a whim or just for play. Worth noting here that the original image is the reverse of this one. After finishing my edit, I flipped the image just to connect it to reality a bit because most of migraines come to my right side. You can see a trace here for the back flash which created a nice rim light on the right side. However, this was not my aim as I wanted the flash to strike behind my head approximately and not on the side to create a rim light. Some sort of a halo so to say. Nevertheless, I'm having fun on editing these shots whenever I get the time to, specially that I'm doing some experiments on the "cinematic" look that everyone seems to talk about nowadays. So, such test shots are quite useful and one forgotten shot might just happen to be a great one under some effects and circumstances!

Finale

Well, this is about it, with all the RP work, which I don't think it is much of a work here, but the best I could think of then. I'm keeping the work on other projects as well. Hopefully I'll posting about some of these in the coming weeks. On the other hand, I'm also keeping myself busy with editing old shots as I've mentioned above, trying to achieve some of these "cinematic" looks. However, I think there is a change in how I see things when it comes to photography or more precisely when I deal with photo editing. I think for a long time I was held back by the "conditions" of most of photo contest which limits the editing of a photo down to some basic elements. It was something in the subconscious, to edit the photo in such a way that the core is not touched. Right now, thought, I'm willing to step on this limitation and I don't find it "critical" or "unprofessional" to edit a photo to change its nature for the sake of expressing and delivering the desired effect to the viewer, away from the desires of these photography contests. I'm pretty sure that the photos above, Hidden Pains and Migraine won't be accepted as regular photos but as mere edits or creative edits (some contests do have this category along the regular typical ones). Of course I'm not going to over do it, and I shouldn't; Because the basic line here is the idea that needs to be delivered with the photo. I didn't realize how bad the effect is,  for being a member in a photography group which put so much emphasis on contests to get ahead, until this moment. I think I'm glad now that I'm over it and out already.
Among all this work-to-be, my mood swings had been severe at some point. They say, usually, meditating would solve much of these unbalances. But the point is when such swings come along, it's like a Blitzkireg in the brain. The body is virtually paralyzed and nothing can be done or to be focused upon, neither the appetite to do anything (beside eating that is). In the meantime, I'm going around myself and exhausting my brain by thinking of ways to increase the income or find a totally different job, which probably I need to do at some point in my life, sooner or later. My thoughts are even beyond this scheme, for something beyond this place. Changing scenery, AND people as well. That is, to simply reside and start a life in a different place completely. Though it might be simple for some, it is not that easy on my side, as the issues are complex enough to hold me back from a simple vacation outside the country for the time being. The "time being" is a term encompassing 5 years so far. And more to come…