Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Sorry for Ranting

My mind is disturbed. So disturbed. I decided to write this post today and post it instead of Thursday. Despite the abundance in some photographic materials that I had prepared somehow, yet I don't and I can't find the spirit to write anything about artistry down.
It has been a rough week so far, and I'm writing these words from my laptop at work as it is the only way I could do, since the internet is not working back home because of phone line problems.
I've been trying my best to cope with stress, but the more I do, the higher the wave gets. Starting off with my supposed weekend which gets ruined every week, but this week there was an extra bonus waiting for me with some power problems putting the house on and off for 2 days - that is my whole weekend. Later, I get some weird requests for family members knocking off my privacy completely - and they do it in a cold blood in a commanding manner like if I was simply a pawn. Then comes a disastrous Monday (the day that I love the most, and please note the sarcasm), which started off with a migraine taking me through all the work problems and the endless talk, and suddenly getting a bleeding nose. Just when I thought my day is over, still there were more problems awaiting - Malfunctioning PC, which I got it working again by a miracle, and then to discover that the internet is not working at all. After investigation I've discovered that the whole house has no signals and we are completely isolated from the internet. I've spent all of Monday (after work) without internet and now, Tuesday, after calling the emergency they told me I won't be seeing anyone until tomorrow, Wednesday. Meaning another day with no internet.

Simply for the fact that I got fed up with everyone and everything else, I've decided to get married as soon as possible. Maybe when I move out I would have a better chance for stress relieving, or maybe I can sleep without thinking what's next. Maybe then I can have a weekend like everyone does - enjoying my time. The only way to move out from my house is to be officially married because singles can't rent decent places here.
I'm sorry. I'm not really sure if this is the right thing to do, and I didn't live any love story (and my heart had passed this phase long time ago), nor I'm dying to do this. But desperate times, need desperate measures - and here I am, just knocking off everything and screwing my world up in a gamble, that I might have a better one later. I need to do it, as soon as possible...

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