Hectic weeks, and probably more to come. My mind is drunk for the burden of worries that I have to carry over my back wherever I go and head.
I got drugged for all what motivational people do and talk about. My reality seems either to be their fantasy, or simply their life is fantasy itself. I simply don't comprehend what they do talk about.
This girl you see in the picture, is about 12 years old by now. I carried her when she was a baby and made her sleep on my chest when everyone was annoyed by her crying and screaming. This is my niece, Noor. She has been hospitalized for around two weeks by now after some viral infection, which got bitter and complicated by the fact she suffers thalassemia as well; a type of anemia. Despite the news so far that she is doing well and getting better, the event itself still got its bitterness in my eyes. Specially that, there is a big chance that she would live with the virus in dormant condition, and which might cause some sparks back now and then.
The psychological impact was a turmoil. I live, and see, and suffer; but those around me, seem not to understand or even care. My family is known for intermarriages, and yet with all these inherited conditions, like myself or my oldest brother with Retinitis Pigmentosa - yet, no one seems to care. To think that such a little girl that I've been holding close to my heart, is suffering all this malaise from the very beginning of her life, makes me awfully disgusted from my own people, culture and habitat.
What to do now but to wish her good health and bright days, and maybe to hide the truth about her condition for a while. I can't say what are her chances to survive into the world of adulthood, but oh how much I wish my life to be over with when her time comes... I am but a loner with no social life, and I don't need it. Probably won't be missed as much as this little girl...
Gesundheit Liebling. - Get well sweetie...
I got drugged for all what motivational people do and talk about. My reality seems either to be their fantasy, or simply their life is fantasy itself. I simply don't comprehend what they do talk about.
 |
| Niece |
This girl you see in the picture, is about 12 years old by now. I carried her when she was a baby and made her sleep on my chest when everyone was annoyed by her crying and screaming. This is my niece, Noor. She has been hospitalized for around two weeks by now after some viral infection, which got bitter and complicated by the fact she suffers thalassemia as well; a type of anemia. Despite the news so far that she is doing well and getting better, the event itself still got its bitterness in my eyes. Specially that, there is a big chance that she would live with the virus in dormant condition, and which might cause some sparks back now and then.
The psychological impact was a turmoil. I live, and see, and suffer; but those around me, seem not to understand or even care. My family is known for intermarriages, and yet with all these inherited conditions, like myself or my oldest brother with Retinitis Pigmentosa - yet, no one seems to care. To think that such a little girl that I've been holding close to my heart, is suffering all this malaise from the very beginning of her life, makes me awfully disgusted from my own people, culture and habitat.
What to do now but to wish her good health and bright days, and maybe to hide the truth about her condition for a while. I can't say what are her chances to survive into the world of adulthood, but oh how much I wish my life to be over with when her time comes... I am but a loner with no social life, and I don't need it. Probably won't be missed as much as this little girl...
Gesundheit Liebling. - Get well sweetie...
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