Back to Normal…

Seriously, I really don't know how I'm coping with this weather, and these people I see daily in front of me wherever I go. I think I have the right to call myself a superman. Between headaches, migraines and renovations in the kitchen and other parts of the house (which leaves me coffee-less), I'm still trying to survive the summer through. My birthday (August 17^th) will be coming on a Friday, which is a weekend, so I won't be having a real day off work as usual to, simply, enjoy my bed in a regular day. Ah well.
I believe I am in a transition era right now. I'm trying to release the load from over my back so that I might be able to do more photography (and with hope, more conlanging). For this reason, I've ended my membership in the photography group (club) after 6 years (since 2012) of working with them (or maybe for them?) - and that was back in the end of May - and now, lately, I've decided that I must stop using Instagram, as the app is getting ridiculous with its ads, its updates, and useless functions for me (in competition with Snapchat which I don't care about or use). However, I still have one active Instagram account dedicated to Ayvarith (which was the core reason for establishing this blog in the first place! Alas!). I really invested quite a time into this Instagram thing over the years; Preparing posts, thinking of what to post, even thinking of what to shoot for my next post (and this is a positive thing, I admit). However, with the latest updates (and the no-sense involving the chronological order), the place became despicable. Adding to that, the drop in the Likes and comments had been drastic with the latest changes (the friends I relied on do not give Likes already as it is). Apparently, this app is trying to make a business deal out of every user using algorithms to change the way of interactions (or even forcing interactions). That's all too much for me, and I better save my time doing something else for now. So, I'm back to Flickr (despite my disagreement about the new design and layout). At least, not many ads can be seen.

Shellology

As time goes by, and as I've abandoned my activities with the group and Instagram, I've reserved much time to rest and to work on my own pace with my camera. Many ideas come and go but well, not everything is applicable. But I'm having the time right now to document a small collection of shells that I've collected long time ago (some time between 2003-2005) and kept it for no use; Till now. On my pace, I'm trying to shoot one shell per day, and if I was lucky somehow, I'd shoot two a day. The results are quite astonishing and some serious thought is given to re-shoot some of them at different angles and/or at different magnification power.

The series can be long and I don't think I will post it all here but the magnification ranged from 3.2X and down to 1X (point something). It all depends on the shape and size of the shell itself. The general theme of the work is abstract, as in The Shining Shell, but with some sense of documentation as well, as with Shill.

Going extreme with the shell sometimes is triggered by the presence of some fine grooves which can be felt with a fingernail but not by the eye! So, this is another factor (regardless of the size of the shell) which calls for extreme macro (that is, zooming more than 1x in general). One case is MacroSteps with those tiny dirt pieces which I left as some sort of a guideline. Even though I wanted the diagonal trace to be greater, but with the capabilities available and the cumbersome gear I have, I have to satisfy myself with this!

The main struggle though, is to consider or not to consider the addition of oil to the shells prior to the shoot in order to give them some luster. In some cases, the situation was kind of disastrous (and can be fixed at times), as in the case with Bean Farraige. This luster problem is actually an extension of another problem which I used to work with anyway, and that is the lighting with a speedlite. Luckily for this one though, I did find the other half (I guess?) and I shot it without applying baby oil to it, to see the difference in Bean Farraige 2. The difference was huge, though the location of the speedlite did not change drastically.

It took me a while though to think of a way to drop the light on the sample from above, but that doesn't work all the time and I end up, as usual, lighting the shell from one side only. The rest is a process of adding Fill or dodging when processing the final image. The Size of the shell also plays a major role for whether lighting with the speedlite can be a success or not.

In Striptoshella for example, which was a relatively large shell but shot with high magnfiication (3.2x) to focus on the abstract made by the stripes - In this shot, despite dropping the light from above (using Rogue light bender on the speedlite), yet the lower portion was dark and I had to light it a bit digitally during the process. The baby oil here made some nice luster but probably I should have diffused the light even further (as the luster appeared harsher when the final image was sharpened). It was not till later that I decided to use my Bolt LED ringflash or light, which I've left untouched for a long time, when shooting Áilleacht Bhriste just out of mere curiosity.

Bolt VM-110
Macro Ring Light

Now, technically speaking, using this cheap substitute for a ring flash was a failure to some extent, but I still like the good distribution of light it did provide in Áilleacht Bhriste. Here are a number of things that this LED ring flash did not work well for me:

• It does not work well with high f-numbers. In fact, in Áilleacht Bhriste, I used the modeling "light" property in this device and not as a flash. Meaning, it acted as an ambient light rather than a flash, and that required some exposure in the order of half a second (if not for the ISO200 here). Properly if it was an insect, it would be a problem for me to use it that way? Not sure. With a proper speedlite or ringflash, the exposure time would surely be in the order of milliseconds. This fact is related to how the power and duration of the speedlite work in relation to the shutter speed (and the sync speed as well), while Bolt's LED ringflash is merely but an external light source (almost).
• By design, I couldn't attach the ring to the Vello Macrofier which I use to put lenses on reverse to achieve a good magnification AND focusing points easily. In Áilleacht Bhriste, I used extension tubes with 50mm lens just to attach the ring to the front of the 50mm lens. This combination is cumbersome when I work and in fact Áilleacht Bhriste is not made by stacking several shots; The original has its sides out of focus even at f/22, and I couldn't do focus stacking by moving the rail forward to shoot other shots and get one complete sharp image. The final image here was cropped (also to remove the black background). 

Vello Macrofier

Nonetheless, I'm impressed. I'm really thinking of a way to fit this LED ringflash (or light) onto the Macrofier somehow to work together. Even though the exposure time might not be a "quickie" but it is still manageable. I have to say, also, that working with LED would save me loads of energy problems with those speedlites (I had to change the batteries frequently as I worked with these shells!). There must be a way to work with Bolt's ringflash and Vello's macrofier; I just need some time to think about it and I might come up with some DIY solution of some sort! Once this is done, I can work happily with focus stacking again... unless another cumbersome problem occurs again.

Finale

I was going to expand this post further and talk about other experiments I'm working on (specifically the pinhole) but I'll keep that for later maybe as I didn't have much at hand right now. I'm still thinking of a way to fix that problem with Bolt's LED ring light on my Vello's Macrofier, and till I find a solution I might be able to do some ideas I kept at the back of my head for using my pinhole, AND creating some as well! Also by then, a new poem might be ready, if the words and the focusing serve me right. I've tried several times to pin it down but I got seriously distracted and couldn't compose a single line (heck! I didn't even pick a proper rhyming scheme, but I might make up my own here). This poem is supposedly triggered by a shot I made for a shell, and hopefully I will post it next time as well.

Some questions remain unanswered though, or partially unanswered, for the time being after leaving the group and Instagram. What I'm supposed to do next? Well, obviously the first step or answer would be: enjoy photography; Just like in the old days. Enjoy experimenting and invest more time with the camera rather than working on group's stuff or preparing posts for Instagram. Beyond that, I really don't know where I am heading. There might be some local activities (which I've encountered some already but did not participate) but just the thought of "socializing" with people in this circle give me the chills sometimes. Not because I'm an introvert, but because I can't act and put on a fake smile wherever I go, and it is often when my nerves got stepped on in such occasions.

With a weather like this, and a home like this, it is not only people that get on my nerves lately. To some degree, I would say everything; However tiny, however grand. Luckily, I've finally got my new passport after a struggle for months, but the question remains: Will I be able to travel? Traveling to me right now is a need rather than an activity of pleasure to be done after some hard work or relaxing. It is something to keep my sanity in check after spending my entire year (and more than a year for now) in one big asylum like this one. The irony though is, traveling makes me feel home, more than home does.

Through and Through…

Here we are, time passed quickly and we are past mid-Ramadhan even. I'm trying to enjoy my leave from work but in the same time I keep in my mind that I must work with my camera a bit or anything else I have in my mind before I get to work again. Easy said than done anyway, because my sleeping pattern is greatly skewed and screwed during this month, and I'm almost putting behind my back everything related to morning chores or tasks (except for little shopping maybe). For the time being, I've been amusing myself with little work on the macro level; Or should I say, extreme macro level.

Microfy

After working for a while with my old microscope and achieving somewhat extreme magnifications (exceeding 1280X sometimes), I did realize at that point that sometimes, going extreme is not the solution nor does it show the details properly. I did indeed at some point reach a magnification of 2640X but the images were blurred and hard to figure out any details (add to that the shaky set I'm working with). Moreover, I think I do need to learn a bit more about sample preparation for microscopes and how to make thin slices. I hope I can find some suitable procedures over the net; We'll see.
Meanwhile, with the help of my Vello's Macrofier, I've flipped my Voigtländer 20mm and started to work with "extreme macro" and I couldn't find anything better to work with except of my old collection of shells. In fact, I'm thinking now, as I'm typing these lines, of documenting these shells for good.

Twirl
6.6x Magnification.

In the beginning, I thought that having a bigger magnification means a more powerful and more interesting shot. Of course, I was wrong. However, it was up to trial and error still, like in Twirl, which is a shot for the tip of a small seashell that is approximately 1cm long or even less. I shot this one without any flash just a LED desk lamp. Flipping a 20mm lens with Vello Macrofier would achieve, typically and according to calculations, a 3.2x magnification. To achieve a greater magnification, I attached all my extension tubes between the camera and the reversed lens (total: 68mm). According to calculations, this would give out a 6.6x magnification.

6x Shell

As usual, shooting with such magnification was not (and still not) an easy task. Mainly because of the limitations in the gear and other props available for me (and my eternal torture: a proper table). However, I tried after all. The topmost problem that happened to be here, though, was the light and how to deliver the light properly to the surface of the shell being photographed. On many trials, the flare was the main problem, causing a general reduction in contrast and the center being bright and detail-less. Tried to add a speedlite and changing its direction, and even a continuous light source (LED), no proper solution was found. Images like 6x Shell, which was shot using 68mm of extension tubes and a reversed Voigtländer 20mm, was done in fact using ambient light with 15s exposure at f/20. No focus stacking. To add, the image looks better in a small size as in this blog, but viewing at a larger scale a bit shows some ugly noise and somewhat blurry features (probably some movements occur during the exposure? Not sure). Anyway, in time, I've realized the real problem.

The set used to shoot extreme macro after the "little" fix.

The problem, as it seems, was the white foam on which I was placing my samples. The light reflected off this surface fooled me as to be of help, or so I thought, but once I put a black card on that, the images became clear. There was a slight problem still because the light would not reach a specific part of the shell, but the general view was better, and contrast was enhanced further when processing these final images (after merging the full stack together).

Bandaí (Bands)
(Left) 3.2x shot made by focus stacking.
(Right) The original shell, around 2cm long.

It can be seen in Bandaí how the light did quite reach the left side of the image (originally the image was horizontal so this dark area was down). This might call for a "real" ring flash but I'm not thinking about this right now. I do have 6 speedlites and it would be a shame if I cannot put these to good use in such stable environment (well, almost stable!) like shooting seashells. The matter that is left is, whether to cover the shell with oil or not. I've painted or covered some shells with oil (well, hair tonic oil actually) but the cotton balls were problematic for this task and some fibers got stuck, and yet it seems oil is not a good contributor. In Bandaí, I've covered the shell with corn syrup (as a substitute to glycerine) and it seems to have yielded some good result, providing some good luster. It's all sticky but it's alright till it dries up! However, sometimes, the shell is so small that I just neglected the idea of dipping it into anything!

الملوية (The Twisted)
(Left) The final image after focus stacking at 3.2x magnification.
(Right) The original shell with a length of 0.8cm (8mm) only hooked to a toothpick.

Would some syrup make The Twisted more lustrous? Not sure, but I think it would; Yet, with such a small size of 8mm I cannot risk it. My working environment around here is completely unstable and I could easily lose it, and with my eye problems, finding such a small piece of "artifact" would be a novel to read!

Sleeper

At some point while working on all of that macro job, I had a slight idea for a long exposure done indoors. It's not the first time I do such experiment in fact, but long exposures in somewhat dark rooms somehow fascinate me always for its unpredictable shapes and its surreal looks.

Laid

An Codlatán
(The Sleeper)

My work with these long exposures were done with 50mm lens (unlike my typical choice of 8mm fisheye lens) and that was for a reason actually. That was to fit my B+W 092 infrared filter on this lens (on a regular camera) and I was really aiming on the head only. Even though I do have a super ND, but I preferred to use this filter (and I would use a filter with higher threshold if I have one to fit this lens) mainly to see the strange strikes of color and/or contrast. The images you see here, Laid and An Codlatán, where not converted to B&W but were processed normally and eventually they reached a level of monochrome (but not completely B&W).

The exposures took about 21 minutes and some seconds, and I literally tried to nap indeed during the exposure. In Laid, though, I was actually checking my tablet, but I was trying to get to that sleeping mode in An Codlatán! The looks were surreal, and ghostly; Specially with Laid, which somehow made my mind spiral and wander into some thoughts, that can be called black or melancholic, yet I think they are legitimate and profound…

It is not a strange idea nor a seldom visitor to my mind. The idea of being dead and what will be happening after my departure is a frequent mind-occupier. This is the image, more or less, which comes to my mind when laid down, people look at me for the last time, before the dust takes what I owe to it. But will there really be anyone willing to give one final gaze? Will there be any visitors in the first place? Will there be mourners? Weepers and keeners? Or maybe cursers and some happy people for where I'm going to end? In essence, nothing of my current life is that different from the scene in this picture; All but a mimic of life, and death. Yet, I cannot grant to myself that my eyelids will be open in every morning that comes. As much as it might be a disturbing image, yet it is the ultimate truth. Nothing is granted; Not even my next breath right after finishing this sentence, and the more I live, and the more loved ones I lose, my belief in the mediocrity of life becomes confirmed day by day…

As I'm writing these words, I'm indeed thinking of doing the same experiment again but using my pinhole, I'm sure the exposure would be drastically long here. The only hassle here is setting up the tripod and the camera near my bed (I can't do this experiment elsewhere around here). I have a plan though, and let's hope it works later. We'll see…

 

Finale

 

By the time of typing this text, My shipment had arrived already in Kuwait, and yet I'm not sure as parcels or as EMS (each has a separate center for sorting, welcome to Kuwait). Would I be able to collect my items before Ramadan ends? We'll see.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get as much as possible done before the vacation is over and being back to the usual routine and exhaustion.

Among the plans: Some ultraviolet, maybe ultraviolet panorama, an infrared panorama (which had been in my head for more than a year), beside the usual work with the microscope and the shells. Working with the shells seems more pleasurable for now, as the rest require some extra work which I'm usually too exhausted to do. One final question remains inside of me and that is: Would I really be able to kill my feelings and the fears inside of me by working myself out to exhaustion? I'm afraid that I don't have the answer for that yet.