Bipolar…

Here we are, with Ramadhan running now 2 weeks deep, and 2 more weeks to go or so. I didn't take any leave from work this year for Ramadhan, so you can tell how my activities would be in this month. As of writing this, I've already had to skip one day of work because of my sleeping problems. I do have sleeping problems as it is, so imagine the turbulence when Ramadhan comes! However, I've been trying as much as I can to do some chores with the camera, be it astrophotography trials as usual, or some ideas that I'm working with indoors, with some bad news that surprised me: My oval dome diffuser for speedlites is lost, and cannot be found in any single place in the house! I'm not sure what happened there, but I have to work without it right now. I didn't pick it outside the house, so it must be in, and maybe it will show one day, but not sure how or when...

Bipolar

Well, now much have been going on with my camera but I've been really trying to dust off my attitude and mood and work a bit with some ideas that I've been already thinking of doing in a long time now (and one of them is related to Retinitis Pigmentosa which was supposed to be done back in February!). Anyway, as my mind is rambling randomly, I didn't start off with old ideas but just started to work with whatever spark was there in my mind at the moment, and that idea was based on reflections on water surface.

Setting for my reflections shoot (which was adapted after trial and error)
The blue thing is a small fan to make ripples in the water but realized it won't make the image any better.

My beloved lost diffuser
:~(

As you can see in the image above, I had to adapt to using the small beauty dish instead of my usual global diffuser which is lost already. Working with this dish and in such conditions probed to be such a challenge with hard-to-predict results. It took me a while to find out what reflects better. Initially, I've used an aluminum box (biscuits box) and filled it with water but that did not work well and did not reflect well. After surfing a bit I've found out that reflections with water work better with dark/black surfaces and I have to say I kind of felt stupid at that moment! Because I always use dark background under transparent acrylic or glass sheets to make good reflections off them! How come I didn't think of that! Anyway, it was time to get some more kitchen stuff: A cookies' tray.

Bipolar

It took me a while to perfect the position of my head in relation to the tray of water here, and also to position the speedlite with the beauty dish (and a diffuser) in a good place to light the face. The idea of the image was already to take 2 or more shots and merge them reflecting on the bipolarity disorder. Excuse the messy hair in Bipolar, but I really had hard time leaning towards the table (with my face almost touching the table) just to get the reflections on the tray right. No need to delve deep into the work in Photoshop I guess, but I have to say that I didn't like the abundance of black space between the two faces; I've tried to remove it but it didn't work out well, so I kept the original. There is also the luster on the edge of the tray which proved somewhat annoying, but then after a second though, I kept it as it is just to define the limit and edge of the water body.

Bipolar (B&W)

This said, I think I do prefer the B&W version more as it shows a stark contrast of emotions, and mood. This is aided with the fact that I had to do some extra sharpening here (just on the smaller versions for this blog post). But the thing that annoys me remains, that black empty space. Not sure if I'm right with this annoyance or not actually but this triggered me to think of doing it in another way, if I can. What I really didn't anticipate for is the hardship in working with water reflections. Despite the simple settings, but location and lighting proved hard to achieve (or let's say needs time to get it right). This is with the help of a polarizer on the lens (Voigtländer 20mm here) to get the reflections to pop up clearly on the water (in contrast to its typical use in photography I guess!).

Bipolar II

The second trial was to be using my Canon EF 50mm lens this time and not Voigtländer 20mm like the previous shot. That required a change in the positioning of the tray and other things and I tried to use another modifier here (a simple reflector from Rogue attached to the speedlite, which can be bent to direct the light in specific direction). This one, too, took me by a storm as I was trying to fix the distances and the lighting (and because of the change in positions, I had to fix the background a bit). Like its previous predecessor, the idea of Bipolar II was to merge 2 or more images together. And while Bipolar was shot with camera in portrait position, Bipolar II was shot in landscape position but then cropped to keep the important elements. My plan was to show a full face but physically that was not possible and I didn't want to switch back to 20mm (it would have been problematic for all the elements I would need to crop out later). In the make of Bipolar II I decided to use the little fan again but placed a bit far away from the set to cause gentle ripples (unlike the tense ripples while working with Bipolar which made me stop using it). In both instances also, I had to take a "blank" frame; That is a shot for the set without me being in it to use later for corrections and cover-ups. This blank frame was essential for Bipolar II, as the table and the edge of the tray were quite clear, so probably a black band in the middle seems plausible!

Bipolar II (B&W)

As is the case with Bipolar, I find satisfaction with Bipolar II in B&W rather than being in color, as it is more dramatic and shows stark emotions. Moreover, working with Bipolar II was somewhat tricky as the original shot did not show the ripples and the looks through the ripples clearly, but once I've rotated the image upside down, it was clear that there is a contrast in emotions between a smiling face and a "maniac's" look. I've rotated the image originally to see portions of the eyes clearly and try to dodge them a bit but then when I saw how it is clearer than the original position, I've decided to keep Bipolar II in that position. I think the ripples here played a good role too, adding to the drama and the mood of the image. However, dodging the shady areas in general was not quite smooth and I had to abandon the idea altogether. You might have noticed how the light and shadows almost divide the lower half in the image into 2 halves. Probably I needed to use a reflector here on the other side of the settings (but the space wouldn't allow for it anyway). But my expectation is, this would not have happened if I was to use the oval dome diffuser on my speedlite.

These four (or rather two) images are all I've been trying to do with my lazy mood and schedule. As I've mentioned, there are some more ideas that I'm willing to try but I just need to push myself harder, specially with Ramadhan ongoing. Not sure how I'm going to work without my beloved diffuser though; Just when I started to like working with it, I lost it! If I didn't find it any time soon, I might have to prepare for another order. For the time being, I'll try to work with what I have and maybe try some DIY solutions.

Finale

As the situation is growing crazy in this area, as much as I get sicker and sicker of my reality. Not only for that, but because of the irony with these traffic jams, which proved to be denser in Ramadhan than in regular days (our working hours in Ramadhan are shorter). The weather is already reaching 42^oC in temperature, and of course this is not so-pleasant occurrence. Things at work are going crazy for preparations to move to the new location and as for my department we still don't know if we are really moving or not because of the complexities of laws and protocols. I'm starting to regret my decision for not having a vacation during the month of Ramadhan actually but I'm trying to keep myself going by wishing to myself that I would be traveling some time later. This said, I'm really not sure about any plans nor any real wish to travel with the craziness around me, as much as I love it and eager to do it, as much as I am getting tired every time I do remember the hardships of traveling plus the preparations. Sometimes I do wish if I have a companion for such travels. I'll be dreaming for now. Sometimes trying to be optimistic and fighting the darkness inside yourself leaves you so exhausted that you cannot even see the purpose of all of this. One it will all over, so I'll just be waiting…

Go Mall…

Ramadhan is in and the usual sleeping problems are back as well. I can't wait to start my vacation starting from the 10^th day.  That's when the summer course would start around my workplace and things would get ugly as usual. I really don't understand how the mentalities around here work and what's their idea about "planning" but apparently they need a major brain surgery to fix that, and I'm almost hopeless about that too.

Thanks to Borderlinx and DHL, now the shipment that I was hoping to get before Ramadhan is definitely to be here after Ramadhan and who knows, I might not be able to get it even. Up till the time of typing this, no sign of my shipment which I'm supposed to get back into my Borderlinx box to be delivered in some other way other than DHL. Because of the dispute between the two, probably thousands of customers ran into havoc. I have to say, though, that prior to this order I was really thinking of shifting my interests into other stores around the globe rather than confine myself into US stores, for camera gear specifically. Anyway, I had to do this bit of shopping after some incident and a lengthy story; No need to bring it on here. However, let's see some of these delayed "joys."

Source: Amazon

I'm starting off here with 2 books, and the first one of them is not related to photography. Something related to two sectors I like: Archaeology and Linguistics. I'm not sure what will I find in this book (I didn't check the sample pages thoroughly), but despite my eagerness, I might have to put it aside for a while after its arrival because I do have some books on my stack of reading list, which were purchased 2 years ago from the Arabic Book Fair! *sigh* They are just some thick books…

Source: Amazon

The second one in this order is an interesting book (of course, otherwise I wouldn't order it, right?). It's about infrared portraiture, even though I'm not that interested in portraiture in the first place. However, since I'm inclined to the weird and strange or whatever is surreal in the world of photography, the topic of infrared portraiture seems plausible and I did it often (in the form of selfies, and a bit within my Scopa project which I've stopped). I'm guessing that the bulk of this book would be focusing on film, but we'll see when it comes (again, I didn't check the sample pages thoroughly).

Source:Amazon

The third item in the list was something that got me by surprise in fact. A set of 4 infrared filters (each with different threshold), just for $29.99? Too good to be true! I'm still not sure how to feel about this in fact; I do have a feeling that it is a low quality, but yet I'm willing to try them out when I get them. One of these filters is supposedly at a threshold of 920nm! Previously, I thought that my Kodak infrared gel filter has a threshold of 1000nm, but I was completely wrong (in fact 1000nm is the maximum a camera sensor can "see"). It is rather around 850nm, or what is usually dubbed as Wratten 87B. This threshold is suitable for what they call X-Ray Infrared (not a real x-ray but just a mocking term). Thus, I just can't imagine that I'm getting a 920nm threshold of a filter! How would the photos taken with this be like? Might be time to indulge my 20mm Voigtländer lens in some panorama work, in the future.
These are the main items which were ordered and which, unfortunately, cannot have them any time soon because of the postal problems. My hopes now are set to wish for the shipment not to be lost, as I didn't get any notifications till typing these words about the items being returned back to my box to be shipped to me by other means. Fingers crossed.

Working Re-Working

Meanwhile, as my plans are put to hold (at least till I start my vacation during Ramadhan) I spend my time checking my old photos and trying to come up with new solutions, specifically to those which I've forgotten or neglected for one reason or another. My main aid in this inspection is the LAB technique which I've been applying a lot lately (despite the troublesome aftermath to be cleared out later on). I have to say that I was surprised by some images like if they are new to me when cropped and edited all over again. I think that proves that the status of our mentality in time does affect our "vision" or how we see things and the world around us.

مدائن (towns)

One of these photos is [مدائن] (towns/cities); A photo I've shot back in 2013 when I first got my ever first infrared filter and I didn't know much about the technical aspects for this filter or this art in general. The dark and gloomy atmosphere was apparent at the moment I've fixed the colors (the typical blue tint was not quite visible after fixing the white balance). It really inspired me to write some poetry in Arabic but I didn't complete this task because of my, well, disturbed mind already.
I've intentionally sharpened a portion of the photo and keeping the rest soft to attract more attention and focus. With my calibrated monitor, the image should look dark with reasonable details (I edit while focusing on the histogram). However, as I noticed, on other devices the blacks can look brighter and even further noise artifacts would appear more prevalent (specifically at the bottom portions where rocks lie). This is why it's important to work with a calibrated monitor; Without any calibration, and with such levels of blacks, this photo would definitely be erratically printed! I can already see how it shows on my tablet and I'm not much impressed.

Sometimes digging out for old photos comes up with a bunch of ideas, creating anaglyphs is one of them, but what interests me more is the surreal chances, and that comes typically from trying to achieve the "mutli-exposure" look with some of my continuous/burst photos.

Surreale Tänzer

Doing those multi-exposures AFTER the shoot and even without a preparation beforehand makes it a difficult task somehow as to achieve the proper look which is typically assumed for multi-exposure images. Anyway, in Surreale Tänzer, I tried my best to merge a set of photos shot back in 2013 in more of a normal way (as I did once), keeping the colors as original as possible while showing a hint of movement. However, this didn't happen with Blending options. Thus, I tried another method, which was the focus stack blending in Photoshop. I tried this method before with some old images, and it did produce the same color spectrum as in Surreale Tänzer. There was some surplus of course which needed to be cropped out. I think I need to focus on this trend and look deeper into my old files, specially those from 2011 and 2012, which for me, were the very active years with my Canon EOS 7D.

Disturbed

Not only multi-exposure is part of my interests, but also some of those blurred images which, previously, proved useless somehow! As in Disturbed. I really don't know why I neglected this image from 2013, but the motion blur because of the wind during this relatively long exposure (13s) got my attention. I have to say that some of the images I've gone through this far did incite me to add some blur to them; Motion blur that is and not lens blur. Yet, I'm not sure it did look realistic for some of those images so I just ignored the idea for the time being. With Disturbed, the RAW was processed as any infrared shot would be processed (when the shot was taken I didn't know any of such processes). Generally speaking, I like it and it does give a sense of mystery to me but I'm not sure about the colors. Sometimes, I do wish I made it into B&W (which I might do after a while).

Finale

It is just the first week of Ramadhan and I'm really, really, wishing for my vacation to come by next week. I thought it would pass quickly but I was wrong. Chores, and bad time management and bad sleeping (more than before), all that combined made me wish if I just signed the whole month of Ramadhan as a leave! 
I'm living a somewhat strange transition, between hope and despair. Looking forward to life, and yet despising it. I'm not sure what is going on inside my head, but one thing for sure: I'm tired. Mentally, that is. I think lot of values need to be checked up and re-evaluated.

Ours,
till the end of time,
and beyond that.

Heedless…

Well, this is a quick wrap for the latest events here, after some long pause during Ramadhan. Ramadhan is over now and I'm trying to hop to the regular pace of a normal life (figurative speech). So many things to do here, including preparations for the vacation I'm planning to have on September, in which I'm supposed to travel to Oman first with the group for a workshop, and then I'm planning to head to Malta few days after that trip. I didn't organize the trip and timing still, and one thing new to me here is the transportation (supposing I'm going to land in Malta's main island, while I'd like to stay on the other island, Gozo). Up till this moment, I didn't even do anything about the visa.
Meanwhile, I'm not doing much with my camera except for visiting old photos and trying to do retouches and reworking some of them (specially converting some to B&W). I'm still aiming at that goal of doing a B&W panorama in JPEG format, but I'm still not sure about the location. Needless to say, summer is killing my chances in "cold" blood… pun intended.

Arabian Eye
One of the reworked images from 2014, adding luster to the iris and more sharpness.

This said, I did spend a considerable time with my Geltani trying to prepare some graphics to put on the page. I'm still not sure how I will send this to Omniglot, but anyway the process is going on. I prepare the characters for the syllables by scanning my own handwriting and then cutting the shapes and prepare them in a specific squared sizes to fit the main document about Geltani. This said, I did already add some more sounds to the syllabic system, beside adjusting some shapes for the 3^rd or 4^th time. Yet, there are things to add, and a numerical system to fix.

ِA scan for some doodles with
trials for the numerical system.
Click to enlarge.

In addition to that, I've added (or made up the idea) a symbol for stressing the syllable just as in Japanese syllables as well. The number of syllables so far exceeded 100, which seems a lot, but the virtue here lies in the fact that they are mostly systematic in derivation (or composing so to say). It is a leap if  I should say; there was nothing and now I'm already in the middle of something. I need to check some of those phonetic values and the transliteration system, essentially to be noted down in the document I'm going to send to Omniglot. The document must be in HTML, and with so many pictures, it seems I'm going to zip it all and send it over. Doesn't sound quite right though, don't know why exactly!

With all this work, and Ramadhan is over, I'm planning for some "move" that might probably get me to set a foot in some direction. Some celebrities did ask for the collection of photos I've taken for them on the stage after checking them out on Instagram. However, because of the malfunctioning endeavor with Instagram (which is embarrassing me a lot), it seems that I have to do it in person. I'm planning as well to make a print for a celebrity as a gift. I just need to know a way to deliver those to them!

Young and Old.

Meanwhile, I've trying to push myself further with poetry as I'm trying to get in touch with my inner feelings and expressing more of myself as I used to do in the old times. I've found out that some abstract photos that I've taken before do entice the memory and some writing capabilities. Well, it's not a joke to say that sometimes you have to be tortured just to do art, any art, if possible. Anyway, I did write a piece, which I called Young and Old, inspired by an abstract photo taken from Ireland in 2010!

Not sure for now what the coming days hold for me in store. All what I really want is just a vacation. A vacation... with that I should also be sleeping without thinking about the next day! I'm sort of having what I like to call a "relapse" to Phil Collins music. I was more into Irish music for some time. Well, Phil's music is good, pretty good, but I tried to avoid it in the past trying not to lick over my injuries… and I failed.