Showing posts with label asperger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asperger. Show all posts

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Turbulent...

I'm not sure how to describe this week, but one thing for sure: I'm getting sicker and sicker from work. One of the graceful "gifts" from the "palace" of my work place is that they have given me some days when my fingerprint scanning (to check the attendance) is canceled. Thus, I kind of had the chance to get back home early without checking out, specially in the days when Mom has dialysis.Things will be back to the old rhythm starting from next Sunday anyway. This time even with further stress as college students would be back probably, hence the traffic jam will be optimum as usual. All that pushes me for a real vacation. And by real, I mean out of this place, away from those people.
On the other hand, some ideas for a panorama inside the car had to wait a bit because of the rains and the foggy days in the past 2 weeks, and yet I have to find a proper place to work. I've stated before in my previous post that the parking lot in my work place is a good spot, but because of the many headaches I've been involved in at work, I just became so sick of the idea.

Old is (not) Gold

As I was going through my archives one day I've figured that there was once a project, a small one, that I didn't yet complete back in 2011! This small project wasn't completely a photography project but more like a photo manipulation which, naturally, includes doing some photography of myself. The idea was to mimic or to express a feeling about Asperger's syndrome.

Asperger's

The final look wasn't what I exactly envisioned but since I totally lost the vision about this old project, I've decided to do some final touches and finish it. The image is supposed to show the tear of mind and soul, and how a person is stretched back in pain with every step advancing forward; this in my vision, how an Aspie (a person suffering Asperger's) would be feeling.
The merging of the two images (face and hand) isn't quite plausible. I had this idea back in a time when I had some doubts about my mental processes and my actions; as I thought I do indeed have Asperger's or something in that spectrum already. Anyway, even after assuring me that I can't have such a condition by some friends (in the know), I still kept on going and thinking about this shot. After working for some time with it I've suddenly left it as it is without completion and went on to do something else (ADHD now?). Anyway, it should have been worked out further than this but it's old and I think it is the time to just finish it without asking about the final result!
This though inspires me to do more self-projects in the near future, if possible.

Boiler

The boiler room on the top of the house has been a subject for some thoughts for some time. In fact, I was waiting for winter just to do some shooting inside. In summer the temperature in the vicinity would not be bearable. I, in fact, had the chance to work with this room at the time of doing my first sun shots 2 or 3 weeks ago, but never posted them here.

The Boiler Room

The panorama part was hard to be done. I had a dream of, by some means, keeping the VR-head hanging in the air somehow to do the panorama from the top of the machinery in the middle of the small room. Yet, looking at the situation, my wits weren't enough to find a solution for this, thus I've decided to go to the corner (directly in front of the door) and do a "small" panorama there for around 3/4 a circle, or ~270 degrees.
Looking at the final results, I've known that it's not something to upload, specially with the skewed bottom in the image. Even though I did take a lower portion (lower set of images at -45o), but still more images and work was needed to keep things straight in such a small space. With such circumstances, I've realized that I won't be uploading this image to stock sites, and hence, I've decided to play around with tone-mapping to make it unreal a bit. I think the slightly opened door helped here to add some ghostly atmosphere to the scene. The organization of the objects in the scene still leaves a lot to be desired, but these are stable objects and I don't think I could do anything better than that, for the time being.

Boiler

Then after finishing the small panorama I still had the urge to give another try, this time though with my Rokinon 8mm fisheye lens. I've placed the camera on the gorilla pod (which I call spiderpod as well) in the same corner I stood in and with some help with the light meter, I've gone with bracketed shots from -2EV to 2EV. I've taken several shots, and every time the angle of the camera would be changed slightly and I think Boiler, above, was the best from all, in terms of the angle and the luminance.
Unfortunately, here too, the lines in the whole image aren't quite what I desired. I feel they are random. Probably, the only feature that captures my own eyes in this shot is the set of faucets on the right side. The gap between the faucets and boiler machinery somehow breaks the homogeneity or harmony. I think we are here, somehow, working with a concept that works against the typical minimalism. In other words, stacking features and lines to complicate the image, but with a condition of finding some harmony and balance between these lines and shapes, in such a way to form a continuum for the eyes to follow when viewing the scene. I've heard about the concept of maximalism (as an opposition to minimalism) but I'm not sure if I should define the concept that I've just stated as something that goes under the umbrella of maximalism. Probably, I will just call it Anti-Minimalism.

Getting Wet

As I've stated above, because of the rains and the foggy days in the passing 2 weeks, I had to delay the idea of a panorama inside my new car. However, some drops of rain on the body of the car inspired me for some abstractive shots.

Perlen der Natur
Canon EF 50mm + 20mm ET, f/22,
HDR, ISO400.
That day, I've placed my new Manfrotto macro rail on my monopod (which does sound like a crazy idea) and headed outside while it was raining. I was in a hurry that I've just forgot to cover the camera and the lens with my new LensCoat. Working with a monopod was indeed a hard job and it was barely stable but I had to because my car, back then, was parked in front of the house and surrounded by other cars, and working with a tripod here isn't feasible.
With a high f-number as f/22 and an extension tube, I had to raise the ISO just to shorten the time of the shots and get a proper bracket into HDR later. Many people commented on Perlen der Natur, saying that the lower right portion is distracting, and that's true indeed, but to crop this portion out, I would literally diminish the image down to the size that it can't be used as a stock or a print even, and would be barely suitable for online galleries!
Liquid Gold
Canon EF 50mm + 20mm ET, f/22,
HDR, ISO400.
After doing the major work with Perlen der Natur, which included not only a crop of some portions, but also a rotation of the frame itself, I've decided to test some work-out which is usually and typically used for infrared shots: swapping channels. The Reds and Blues channels that is. The rotation of the frame, from my own point of view, was essential. The original orientation of this image was 90o clockwise of what you see here.
I think the main issue has to do with the inclination, or the diagonals, which are made by the water droplets and the light reflections on the body. I'm not quite sure what are my feelings toward the original orientation but it just felt not right and needs to be rotated. Probably, just a theory, the droplets of water on the body in this new orientation are directed upward while in the original is going downward (naturally!); and that is a symbolical expression for hope and challenge in my unconsciousness? In any case, originally such shot would benefit a lot from focus stacking specially with me now using the Manfrotto rail, but with a monopod, my chances were slim for a successful stack.

Durch Dunkelheit

Last week specifically, with some clear atmosphere and lesser chances for rains (but more rains might visit in the coming days from now). Thus, I've decided to head out at night as usual and look for a new location that I didn't work with before (or not much at least). In previous nights I've totally forgot about one location which was a place where I created one of the most puzzling panoramas that people in here talked about!

Planeta Columnae

In fact my visit to this location again, would be a source for another vision for this panorama specifically but I will head to that later in the coming days. However, this panorama was taken after dusk hours and people were roaming the place (and I'm sure many of them were looking at me as if I was a loco). This time, I'm heading there for complete darkness after midnight with as few people as possible.

Skylander
Rokinon 8mm fisheye, f/8, 40sec, ISO100.

One of the killing mistakes that I've committed there is to go out and forgetting my LED lights or any other light sources to see my way. Thus, I had to use my intuition bit and a bit of my memory (which can be worse than that of a goldfish!). Because of this, it was a shaky situation because I was standing with legs open above a water channel from the main fountain (you can see it in the panorama Planeta Columnae above). I've used my memory to set the f-number or aperture without looking at the numbers at f/8. Focusing though is another story and as a result, most of the shots taken that night had some soft focusing problem. Anyway, the problem is more apparent when viewed at 50-100% in the original file.
Despite the fact that I've taken several exposures in order to do a HDR merging later, Skylander, which took only 40 seconds, was chosen for some RAW editing instead of the other long exposures, which some took like 2 minutes. This is because the histogram of this particular shot was suitable and adequate for RAW editing more than the darker frames lesser than 40 seconds, and those very bright frames taking 1 minute and above. At the end, I did a channel swap again to show the tiny traces of trace in the sky more, as the blue is so dark and almost hid the features of the clouds as well as some trails. I think the surreal look at the end with a red sky is something, rewarding!

Das Licht Der Dunkelheit
Rokinon 8mm fisheye, f/8, HDR, ISO100.

Later, I headed to the outer walkway around the center of the place or monument. My aim in the beginning was to centralize the monument but the problem was a pillar standing in my way and covering much of the monument when I stand close by. Thus, I've decided to create a twisting line from the curved walkway roof. My thoughts were going in the field of "guiding line". I've taken several exposures, from 4 minutes down to 3 seconds even and merged the whole set into HDR. But processing this image to reflect the mystery in it was trickier than I thought!
I've made several versions of Das Licht Der Dunkelheit, either by tone-mapping the HDR slide or by editing a single RAW file. Editing the RAW file was promising in fact, with bright blue/magenta sky and yellow lights, but the problem is that this wasn't what I aimed for. It's not the soft feeling I wanted for this scene. Tone-mapping, however, proved to be even more baffling because of the many possibilities and many feelings that can be triggered by different settings when tone-mapping.
Generally speaking, I do have some regret for this angle specifically because I feel that the light sparkles (even after the slight crop from top and left) is somehow corrupting the view. I've settled my mind now on visiting this place again as soon as possible to adjust and check other angles if possible. I'm somehow satisfied with the final version here, with these directional shadows and lights, but something more could have been done, I believe.

Finale

Source: B&H
Source: B&H
Source: B&H
Source: B&H
Things are drawing near now. I can't have more patience to get more tool in order to enhance my astrophotography experience. I'm not sure when to put an order for Rokinon's 800mm mirror lens, but it is (along with other accessories in the list) are already in the cart and I might click the Check-Out button at any moment! Probably I would place such an order directly after receiving my salary payment in the 20s of this month. naturally, to order this lens I have to place an order for a T-Mount adapter (second image) in order to connect this lens to EOS systems. Then comes the Cokin 105mm adapter ring. This ring is specified for X-Pro series, (Canon lenses for EOS systems usually run under Z-Pro series) but anyway with my strong paper clips to hold the filters on the adapter I believe it won't be a problem. I've been checking the dimensions for the welding glass specifically and I think it will cover the whole opening of the mirror lens if it arrives here. This is quite essential to shoot at the sun. The only drawback here is the fact that I can't fit the IR filter in any way (not even with a step-down ring). To my experience, IR shots are more interesting than welding glass shots to some point. Finally, there is the Manfrotto 293 Telephoto Lens Support with Quick Release which will help me to give some support for the set of lenses either in astrophotography, or in macro shots, or extra macro shots (with lens coupling) instead of having the body of the camera attached to the tripod. The reviews for this device sound great!
Now with a simple calculations, what I'm expecting is a working focal length of 800x2x2, that is 3200mm! Meanwhile, most of the astro-shots for the moon and the sun are at 1200mm maximum. This is something around x2.6 more zoom power.

My future hopes and projects are what make me alive right now. The thought of leaving my current work place and just act as a freelancer is haunting me day and night. I don't know how to bear this and for how long. A vacation in this time is a must. A real necessity. Day by day, I'm getting so fed up with the disrespect in this useless work place.
Looking at the people around me I do sometimes thank God that I'm not married, specially under such conditions where everything is rocketing high up and no one is holding the greedy people back from chewing this country's people and economy. Makes me have dreams of what I would do, if I was a president of some country. The situation with my sister seems desperate somehow and I would wish to help her out somehow with her kids, but I guess my hands are cuffed in this matter. Needless to say, the more I live and grow, the more I despise the parliament and its people. I wish if I can set this place, and those people on fire.

As much as I try to ease out my life in any other way, seems everything I face is, simply, denying me this pleasure. A work place that I despise, and a home that I don't feel for. I'll wait then for some signal to see where to head next... this, with exhaustive thinking, is all I can do...




Thursday, April 28, 2011

Mind = Chaos.

Maybe for the lack of people who push me up or encourage me, or simply say something nice (I say lack, I'm not saying there is none), or maybe because my... ego... is too much to bear with, I've been fluctuating over some tests here and there; partially to know myself better, and partially to feel better about myself. This time, I was in fact looking after something called the Raven test. I was informed in the beginning that it is some test related to autistic features, but later with little googling, I've found out it is also another IQ test depending majorly on shapes and patterns (no numbers, no calculations, only drawings). I had to pay a little to get this result! Typical...





Result




TJ
Your IQ is: 131
Your age adjusted IQ score is 131 and the average score for all test takers is 98.4.
Your Grade ** Gifted **
Anyone with a general IQ this high is considered to be gifted. You have the ability to think critically, conceptualize ideas and form your own conclusions. Your ability to think in patterns and to produce order out of chaos enables you to handle complexities and see logic in everything. Needless to say you are self-aware of your abilities and have the brains for all known occupations. If you think of intelligence as the ability to adapt easily to new situations then you are at the top of the charts.






IQ Chart







IQ RangeClassification
Above 145Genius or near genius
130-145Very superior
115-130Superior
100-115Above average
85-100Below average
70-85Dullness
Below 70Borderline deficiency

The question is, am I supposed to be happy for the result or concerned? Am I really gifted or my mental power is not what it should be? I hate to draw myself back to this circle after some friends (who know what they are doing) told me already that it's impossible for me to be having Asperger's. In the meantime, my daydreaming doesn't make it any brighter. Frequently switching between dreams and reality makes my brain trip and lose connection; needless to say the feeling of disappointment.... My mind is so scattered that on Tuesday, and after finishing my work, I've left my work place forgetting my camera's battery on its charger in the office and my wallet. I couldn't retrieve them back of course until the next day. I don't think this is a memory loss, but it is simply an effect of a busy mind I'd say. I'm hoping...

Been surfing through some websites trying to figure out what I need for the next phase with my camera here. Books, lens, tools; all on the list, scattered in my mind. One of the "tools" that I'm planning to get is a teleconverter. It is an attachment that expands the focal length for more zooming power supposedly. Combining this with my 70-300mm Tamron, I can probably increase the focal length to 600mm (as the specs say).

Vivitar Teleconverter for Canon EOS
x2 (Source: B&H)
I wonder though if I can connect two of those together to give me a x4 power! I'm sure that such tools won't be a match to the REAL zooming lenses, but for someone like me, who takes pictures for far objects occasionally (like birds), this solution seems fine. Also, I'm trying to find out some suitable "sound trigger", which is a tool widely used in the field of High Speed photography. The idea is to trigger the flash unit and make it work for a very short period of time (lesser than a second) just by a pulse of sound. Still searching through the net, because there are some news that such sound triggering systems don't work with my flash unit (Canon EX580 II). Makes me think of some other ways to achieve the same effect, but no results so far!

On the books list there might be around 3 books that I'd love to read as soon as I can, providing that I finish the book I'm reading now, the playful brain. One difference though is, the playful brain book is majorly read when I'm in the office, at work, while for photography books, I tend to read them whenever possible even at home. This is mainly because I feel they are instant and a must to develop myself with my camera. Yet, I have to make sure that I finish those games on my queue list first!



Freelance Photographer's Handbook: Success in Professional Digital Photography, 2nd Edition

Take Your Photography to the Next Level: From Inspiration to Image

The Portrait: Understanding Portrait Photography
3 books that I think I must have by now...

Camera, games, books... you can tell what a mess I'm living, but not necessarily enjoying it all the way! All of this mess and I'm rarely looking at my Ayvarith project and creating a website for it. Not only that, but also, out of boredom, and because I didn't try to take any panoramas for some time now (full spherical panoramas that is) I've went on doing a little experimenting with my 3-legged monopod, and done a panorama for my own bathroom! Yes, my bathroom. Why? Don't ask me please. There are shaky images, as the monopod was extended to a higher level than my head and thus, it was hard to keep it stable (it is shaky already even on shorter heights). Total weight of the camera and the VR-head is around 3kg (~6.6 lb). It was an experiment and I'm already having problems with the panorama as I'm typing these words. I've deleted the images already because of the wrong way I did take these images and many HDR merging problems! I might take it again at another time. One of the challenges, however, in this bathroom panorama is, I couldn't decide what White Balance (WB) should I choose. For the time being, I shot it with Tungsten to balance the great yellowish glow from the 2 bulbs in the bathroom, but that made the pinkish walls go yellowish in a dull way, removing all the heat (or should I say, action) from the walls. However, this hopefully can be adjusted later when I tone-map the HDR finalized version (if the stitching problems are resolved). Another challenge was the height, which I had problems with when trying to adjust the tilt of the camera upward or downward, and going for 30 degrees up and down was not a good bet I'd say. Must have done it with 45 degrees up and down or 30 degrees twice in each direction.

I've been shopping now and buying "flood lights" in various colors. Right now I do have a neutral (yellowish), blue, green and red. I like these lights because of their "flowing". I can imagine them as water of light pouring down on the subject. One of the features I like about these lights also is, they don't appear to be intense when ambient light (in my room) is on, but when the room is dark they show bright. Now having the basic RGB colors of flood lights, this inspires me for few more experiments. 

Philips 80W red flood light
(Source)
Beside those lights there are some tools on the side, like light bulb bases and some other things to store these tools because my stuff are scattered all over the floor. I need double my room size (which is already a couple's room) to store everything I need I suppose. Thinking about that even gives me a shiver for the cleaning I'd be needing to do for such a room!
However, one of the tools or kits I got was storage pockets that can be hung on the wall or the door. I'll be using these to store the light bulbs and (some of the) lighting kit. These pockets were wrapped up around some hard paper, almost like a wood in fact, thus I decided to use this in some way. There are two of them, thus I picked one and drilled in the middle of it to make it as a stand for future use when I need to use the light-holders whose bases are in the form of a clip.

The board mounted on my monopod

Close up for the drilled hole with the monopod's bolt going through it

I've had some ideas to take some pictures in the bathroom (nope not a panorama), but this time for a flowing water. Unfortunately, it didn't work alright to post it in this blog still. Hopefully I will work on that in the future. Caution(s) needed here, since I was trying to bring my light (simple) equipment and a wire extension to the bathroom near the basin to light the flowing water. One drop and everything can be bye-bye...

Nevertheless, I've been working on other days on some catches from seashells. Flood lights here played a crucial rule in "pouring" on the color of the shel. Originally, the shell was greenish, and I've fixed it under a neutral flood light (which gives out a yellow beam). The shot was intended for HDR (i.e. bracketed shot, from -2 to 2) and the WB was Tungsten (to neutralize the heat of the color of the light beam). However, with tone-mapping, and even with Tungsten WB, the heat persisted, thus I had two choices here, to keep up the warm look, or to adjust the temperature slider in Photomatix to the maximum left to cool the colors down. I decided to go on both ways (and change some other settings as well to achieve certain look).

Spiral Shell
with Temperature down
Drama Shell
with Temperature slider slightly above zero point
Someone commented on it saying it's like a rolled up chameleon!
These two shots, however, was an aim to perform a focus-stacking, where several shots are taken on different depth of field (DOF) and then combined by layering the shots and blending them together to get a sharp macro shot. I tried it on these shots but the change in DOF was not to be mentioned here. I think this is because the subject here is not elongated along the camera's view, but more like a flat disk (in some way) and lies almost in one plane of view with respect to the camera.
Also this week, I went on trying the peeling effect again, this time on my censer. Actually, the shots were taken around two weeks ago, but I didn't go on doing this until last week.

Peeled Censer
Take it from me: the more regular and geometric the shape is, the harder it is to do the peeling effect. Why? This is mainly related to the eyes and how sharp your viewer is. In an irregular shape, like the seashell done before (below), the irregularity helps on tricking the eye and you won't have much hard time blending (manually) the different layers together, because the mind already perceives such shape as irregular. In more regular shapes like the censer above, things tend to be harder, and more harder with a light source concentrated in some unique direction. You have to blend carefully trying the best you can to eliminate any "errors" that can be obvious to the naked eyes. In the censer here I wasn't so good at blending and I had to do lot of cloning out, and still the image is not so good, to me.

Peeled Shell
I think I will stop playing around with this trend of tricks and try to work more on some expressional photography, where I would make something out of my mind completely to express some thought or emotion, or simply try to be innovative with my lights here. I still have problems though with those light holders!

Video-wise now, well, I'm not a videographer, but always had and still have fun recording from inside my car, and I still have this idea to record a video in Failaka island. However, I'm in the process of converting all those .MOV files into .MPG (NTSC) and delete the original MOV. This also would help me to cut out some portions of the files easily, as I discovered that lot of programs I have do not deal with MOV or got problems reading such files, and of course helps me to save some space. This conversion almost reduces the file size by 50%.

This is my life now; a total chaos. I need someone to organize my time for me, and I don't stop stuffing my mind up with stuff I think I need to do, and still they push more on my time. I'm trying to get back to exercising little bit, not for a diet or anything (I'm still having bad eating habits) but just to train my body on enduring some aggressive conditions, and maybe, just maybe, I would just feel refreshed and out of my mind's troubles. If only I can get rid of the damn traffic jam...








Sunday, December 19, 2010

Can It Get Any Worse?

There are some times in life that you would really wonder: what else could go wrong? or you might ask yourself: could it be worse than this?
Some harsh two weeks been passing over my life in all aspects that made me almost paralyzed. The only joy I can do for the time being is just to sit here in front of my PC at home and work on my usual pictures. The past week I was so tired from every single thing in my life, so much that for everyday and after coming from work I didn't even have the appetite to have lunch or anything. I was surviving on some coffee and some biscuits and sometimes, some cereals. My appetite somehow increased a bit in weekends but with some irregularity, ordering from outside most of the time.

To complete the course of the curse, today I woke up late, struck with the fact that my work place has no internet as well (while other places around has it), and with some "nice" news that I will have to move in a chopper with my director along with some people from the ministry of defense in order to demonstrate about some aspects of our field work. The flight is supposed to be to Warbah island, on the borders with Iraq, but later they called and canceled the idea, so we are going to Bubyan (Boubyan) island (largest Kuwaiti island) and by car. The fact that really makes me nervous is that I have to work with the military; a place and a rank of people that I always hated. Well... alongside with cops. After all, I'd rather not to talk about the matters of the heart; they are complicated, yet never to the satisfaction.

So, here I am again with my photos. If you like to see them just scroll down maybe without reading my boring explanations or, if you don't like any of it, then why the heck you are here anyway? Ah, I see. To feel good about yourself having a better life than mine? Yeah, probably true.
In the meantime there is one idea that is still pending in my head and I'm thinking of how to achieve the desired effect to it. This time I'm going to need some heavy work in Photoshop. It is not correcting a photo this time but, instead, manipulating a photo in some heavy way. Been surfing the net for some tutorials and I got some tips, but I don't deem them useful so much for the idea I'm thinking of right now. I have to my out with my own hands to know how things are going to work out. The main problem now is that I'm going to need to take photos of myself by myself; the usual panic.
The idea I'm seeking to implement here has a connection to the Asperger's syndrome. For some time and when I thought I have such a thing because of some attitude and some behavioral. Still though, even after an online friend (who's in the know) confirmed to me that I do not have such a syndrome, the experience of seeking an answer to some of my problems in focusing and other things that kept being after me since high school is on the go. However, this experience made me think about something to express how much this is tolerating for the mind and the psychology of the person indeed. You might spend years trying to figure out why you do things the way you do and why you feel the way you do and what makes you do certain things in a specific manner not like others...etc. All of that, specially when it does not coincide with other people's typical looks on things, can make you feel estranged at times, simply feeling no one does understand the way you feel, but you and only you.

Been working most of the time with my pictures from Ireland. Sometimes I would go back to those taken in 2009, from Galway and Mayo, and then back again to the newest ones taken in 2010. The work panoramas is light relatively, for the time being and after finishing to some extent the dining room, which was so hard to do because of the many problems related to the noise level and to the great difference in exposures in between the slides (specially around the main window in the room).

The Dining Room in LP.

The reason I've made this in LP (little planet) projection only is that, the stitching errors are lesser that way and somehow less obvious if they exist somewhere. I can't really recognize where did I go wrong with the panoramas of the Dining Room and the Lounge before, but my suspects in the case are the not-so-good settings in the camera and/or the shaky position of my camera on the VR-head. Like the lounge before, this panorama was first tone-mapped from HDR, then stitched. Typically, the tone-mapped stitching proved to have lesser stitching errors than the HDR stitching.
I've finished the second album already for pictures from Co. Tipperary and working on the third one, and it is almost over with. Probably would send it over with Christmas coming? Maybe. You can see the second album (if you care) by clicking the link below:


I've been trying to make more vivid images with my HDRs as I noticed people really them on MostPhotos.com, unlike other stock sites that think about marketing only. This really encouraged me to get out of the circle of the typical normal images just to please these stock sites (and big times, my images been refused for over filtering or something like that). The result of this enthusiasm is that I've been named as photographer of the month in Mostphotos.com, for being the most active member in the last 30 days! 
I keep my work now in sRGB and Adobe 1998 regions, but never trespass to ProPhoto again. I think the two former spaces make it enough to produce some vivid colors in the photos. Yet, the important thing here is to think of what you are doing and why you are doing what you are doing. 

Rare Auld Times

Yes, it is "auld" not "old". It's a famous Irish folk song. However, in this image here and in order to resemble and give an impression of antiquity, the drama of history, and also a sense of the saying "old is gold," I made the image look harsh and somehow like dirty, for a purpose. It is to give a tense look to the eyes in order to deliver a message of how old is this thing, and in the same time I have to keep it unique and smooth without much turbulence in the colors which causes the eye to get tired a bit, hence I added hue layers to turn it into more of a golden object (rather than the simple yellow and the reddish hue in the original after the effects were done). This effect also helped on getting out the patterns and the scratches in the face of the clock itself, which otherwise, would be hard to see in a normal image. Unfortunately, some people commented on this image in technical terms neglecting completely the message I want to deliver.
Another example of patterns that I wanted to extract was an example of a door. The door is for Cahir church and here, I wanted to show the pattern of the wood itself and hence I had to apply what I call the "dramatic effect" just like in the clock face above.

Cahir Church Door

The process for the image above was not all done by HDR and that's it. In fact, lot of effects and enhancements took place AFTER tone-mapping the HDR. My Photomatix didn't give exactly what I was seeking so I had to get to some point close to what I aim at, and then work on sharpening some parts while smoothing the others and then lighten some parts and darken the others and so on. The noise level here and because of the "harsh" tone-mapping, yielded a great deal of noise that was hard to remove without losing details in the most important part of the image, the door. I had to use layer masks, lot of them, to control my work area.
My work during the last week also included some fantasy, some dreams that kept on visiting me from my childhood days; the heroes, the swords, the dragons ...etc. There had been some images that I don't know why I did it that way, but some people did really like it that way! I'm more inclined now to use some Latin names to my images. I think it gives some power.

Somewhere, in My Dreams...


Lignum Vitae (tree of life)

The second image here, the tree, was actually modified in HDR mode before tone-mapping. I've added some blur to the image and made it go toward the tree. I just felt that it needs some life and action and probably, I would better do that before tone-mapping to make the light coherent more.

That's it for me with photography so far, and there had been some photos that I've been doing all over again with some change in the settings, specially images taken in 2009 from Ireland. Right now, I'm trying to organize my life a bit despite the shaky situation at work and home. Thinking about the Ayvarith page that I've promised myself to work with makes me stressed like hell like I'm really not up to it. Zillions of things pass on my mind and wait on the queue to be done but I just don't know what or when to do so. Two things I might have to get on with very soon is the matter of the new car that I need to buy, and also before that, my Asperger's project. As for the time being, I guess I won't be having my emotional part of life for now, and probably for some long time from now on...




Thursday, November 4, 2010

Aspergers?

A Quiet week, sort of, and thank God it's Thursday! I can't believe it has been 2 weeks since I got back to work, because it feels already like I'm here for the past 6 months already. Not because of work pressure, but because stupidity pressure around me. Sometimes I feel if I eliminated the stupid people from my periphery the population on land would count as much as 12 persons only.

I feel a bit of relief now as well, because my friend made an interview in my work place and technically he passed it without my intervention but the only thing left now is the paper work in the administrative office, which takes in an optimistic season, 3 months. After all, sooner or later he will be here eventually, I hope.

Camera-wise now, I've been doing things slowly here and then and trying to fix some of those bad ones I made already. I've already sent a collection of 20 images so far by email to several people, and it is the second mass email if I should say. I decided to change my practice of making a batch of 30 images and send them in one email. Instead, I will be making folders inside my Photobucket for each batch of images, with 20 images only inside each one of them. After that I will be sending a link to the album itself instead of putting the images in my email composer, which takes really long time to fix. The link to the album of the first batch can be checked here:


The work after that started with a panorama for Hore Abbey. Specifically, for the main hall or it seems the place where masses were held probably. I call such places with different names really and most of the time, I call them "Yards" mainly because now, they are either filled with grass or pebbles like a yard outside any house, but I'm quite sure that such places were once roofed and had many facilities and chairs or benches and the floor was tiled in most cases I believe. Probably I should call them "courts". However, Not much troubles, gracefully, in this panorama except of some chromatic aberrations that tend to show up strongly because of the fisheye lens usage with a strong sunlight.

Hore Abbey, Cashel. The main hall (court).

Of course after doing this flat spherical panorama, I wouldn't miss the Little Planet projection as well:

Hore Abbey, little planet projection.

Despite the geometrical shapes here with little planet projection I do feel it's not quite well specially with the cut out wall on the far left side of the image. However with a QTVR, it was a nice view specially to see the ceiling with its unique geometrical design; a fingerprint of medieval art, and probably this is what is to be the gothic influence.




It was until I made the QTVR, I realized that the left and right sides of the panorama are not coherent in tones, and hence a thin line cut through one side of the QTVR because of this. I did all the process again all over, but in a haste and maybe made the QTVR look paler and sharper with white sparks. However, I do keep a larger QTVR with higher quality, and in case I need to do it again I would do it slowly. No need for the rush. I will try now to concentrate on more single images to process.

In case you are wondering now about the title here, Aspergers?, well, that might be some false alarm, but nevertheless, got me interested in the subject. Asperger syndrome is like a special case of Autism, and with some cases of Autism in the family, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that I do have some degree of this. I don't have quite the information about it, but one simple test called the "The Autism Quotient Quiz," which I did online, yielded some high score. Some friends said that such tests conducted online cannot be really taken seriously but they are only screening tests, and they are somehow, culturally dependant. I did the test two times, and the results were 36 and 38 respectively. 
I've been reading some texts online and figured out some people do some things that I do: cleaning shining objects, untidy room, sleeping problems and hard time waking up, repeating things, listening to a song all over again several times until all words are memorized or so, routine and feeling disturbed when something changes with some specific routines. All of the signs above had been partially diagnosed for some people as Asperger Syndrome symptoms. Now this makes me more thoughtful of visiting a professional to do what it has to do to know myself better. I might solve an everlasting problem of mine, that is the inability to focus for long time (only in rare occasions).