Slowly Coming…

Been some months now since my last post (which was merely a post of keeping alive). This post probably isn't any different but I'm hoping to be an ignition for future posts as well. What was supposed to be merely few weeks of a vacation, had a twist in the planning. Many things had changed currently, and ideas had been coming and going. So, this post actually is merely like an update of few things that had been going on in my life lately. 

I may start this update from the end rather than from the beginning, with Mom being admitted into the hospital for 5 days after doctors had noticed low blood level (I take it as low hemoglobin level), so she needed some medical care and inspection beside blood transfusion. Doctors realized that her stomach was bleeding and they had to do endoscopy for inspection and treatment, beside the typical medicine for such cases. She returned home in the evening of Monday, September 4ᵗʰ (yesterday, at the time of typing this post).

Meanwhile, I've been snapping pictures randomly with my phone, without setting any goals or anything but merely something just occurs to me and I'd be lucky to have the phone on me to snap it. Summer was largely a depressing time, specially with some plants that I care for in the yard turning yellow and dying out, but luckily now in September, things started to get greener a bit. With the plants getting scorched and yellow, I felt like another load of depression had been weighing down on my shoulders and I was just looking for some kind of escape, but couldn't find any. Caring for such plants and see how green they have become was one of the simple things that gives me joy in my entrapment inside the house. 

Anyway, in my effort to break the monotony and (supposedly) to push myself to work with the camera further more, I've decided to order some new "toys" in July; Something that I've considered as a gift for my own birthday (though it was still to be on August 17ᵗʰ). The set of toys (as I like to call them) were from Amazon; some relatively cheap stuff, in hope that it would push me to experiment and find new interests in photography, even if it wasn't up to the level. Yet, up until typing this blog post down, I didn't do much about these toys, except for a filter or two.

Neewer's Kаleidoscope Prism

One of these filters is the Neewer Kаleidoscope Prism which I pretty much like and still looking for opportunities to use it whenever I can. So far, I've done one simple project with this filter, which I might try to post about it in some other time here.
Among the toys that I've ordered also is a set of sparkle (or star) filters (also from Neewer) which can add 4-, 6-, or 8-fold star to light sources in the image (separate from closing down the aperture to do that as usual), and also a bracket for dual flashes, and a mount for dual cameras or flashes as well (planning to use this for 3D anaglyph footage), and lastly, the item that I've ordered now for the 3ʳᵈ time (or 4ᵗʰ? Can't remember): Flash cord, to control the speedlite off-camera (and enable high-speed function as well).

晚上的客
(night's visitor)
a quick test for the kaleidoscope filter, coupled with 50mm lens.

Despite my many plans here to do stuff, but my brain was blank with ideas and also my time was occupied by fatigue, house problems, and personal problems. My need for a vacation is chasing me even in my retirement, when I'm supposed to have the time of my life and do whatever I wish to do without worrying about work, schedules and waking up in the morning (which, ironically, I still do, and need to do).

Among other "important" changes that I've made as well, is rolling out from a number of websites. I've stopped participating in Twitter (X) and YouPic, and even closed and deleted my account on MostPhotos, deleting all my images there, including the extra-large panoramas that I've uploaded exclusively there. With that, I'm coming back to Instagram slowly but not in the same way I used to do it years back. I'm not planning to chase everyone for likes, nor I do upload daily. Anyway, it is just one venting point for my work with photography from time to time. On the side, I've de-cluttered a big portion of my room, and I'm supposed to continue but the momentum waned out and I'm still trying to get some of my strength back now and then. All of that can be seen, I guess, from the fact that I didn't (and couldn't) post any blog posts for months (not counting the last post in June).

 

Finale

Один Мирный День
(one peaceful day)
Huawei

I think I can consider myself lucky now that I've had the time to type this blog post down after all these weeks. I still have to think about my Arabic blog on the other hand, which had been long stranded without any updates.
I've been lately, and for the past few days, to push myself to work with the camera further and I've done few humble shots using the prism filter already, but I'm preparing for some more work, but things are progressing slowly, especially with Mom being admitted to the hospital last week, which made life almost stop for me without clear thinking. Meanwhile, there had been snaps here and there with my Huawei, but I don't want to delve deeper into phonography and just forget about DSLRs and the work with them. Yet, there is no denying that having a phone in the pocket is mesmerizing and often helps in capturing those sudden moments in time, as the case with One Peaceful Day, but one has to also focus on the real work; that is, the work with DSLRs and trying to figure out new ways to be creative, instead of capturing moments here and there.
The harshest times of summer are over by now and this is a relief as it is. The weather is still hot for sure, but not as the past 3 months, and I'm dying here waiting for winter. Maybe then I can have some time for myself walking outside and snapping some pictures, even though I should think of going further away. As far as being out of this country altogether…

Back…

Here we are again, after some weeks away. I thought I wouldn't post again but here I am; Trying. This post won't be long though.
I had to stop blogging because of being overwhelmed with my personal issues and life (and still). September had been a heavy loaded month with drama and other stuff at home and my personal life but anyway I've tried to seize the chance here and went on to do something with photography.
During most of the September, I've tried to use my phone only to take photos around the house (because, naturally, I can't be anywhere else) and deliberately shooting in Monochrome mode in the phone camera. Editing was done in Photoshop later on.
The challenge here was not to use DSLR with flexible lenses but to catch things plainly and do think in B&W solely. I'm lucky that the Monochrome mode in the phone camera app has a "Pro" feature which provided control over the exposure value and other few things which helped significantly in adding the mystery or the drama in the shots. Most of my shots were taken at -2EV and things where adjusted later on in Photoshop. Of course, all the work was done in JPEG and not involving any RAW files. 

Each shot of these actually has a story of some sort and some story about the processes involved but I've decided to keep it short here and I've made this video slideshow specifically to showcase the images I've taken during the span of September. Some of these might appear too dark, specially on smart devices, so increasing the brightness might be needed for some of them. I work with a calibrated monitor, so in these dark areas of the images there should be some minor details that I kept, but in non-calibrated devices, things might appear too dim to notice any details.

Probably it would be better to view the video in a bit larger window. I've already posted this video on Instagram before posting it here and I've posted even some of these images before the video there. As I said, this would be a short post relatively, so I won't go into the details of each image, but I hope you'd enjoy the show!

Finale

I'm in a time of my life, I guess, where I wonder if this is how it feels to be in the so-called "Middle Age Crisis". However, being in my early 40s, it seems to have come to me early, apparently.
September was a heavy loaded month with family issues and mood swings that I've needed to (or rather forced to) leave everything behind for a while, including blogging. My plans to do an Arabic blog post once a month has long gone stray already.
Dealing with the family, and the mother specifically, with an increase in feelings of isolation, or being isolate, and the need to be isolate (in my own space) all came up together as a mental tsunami. My urge to travel is re-kindled but this is, again, just not the right time to do any of that because of the situation at home (and the care I have to give to Mom) and the international situation. To culminate this upheaval, I'm actually typing this blog post with the fear of a power outage at any minute now (had been a favorite recurring event lately) and with connection problems that lingered for 3 days now at the time of typing this (Tuesday). I can't help but to feel everything around me is being filled with misery, as if facing waves of negativity is some homework I need to do on a daily basis; The more I try to change my environment, my mental attitude towards things and life, the harder down I dip myself (or be dipped). 

Such a mental turmoil and I really don't know where am I heading right now. All is left at the hands of God. It is such times that I wish I can drive safely to wherever I want to if not for the damned Retinitis Pigmentosa. But I guess I can't complain, for some of the benefits that I've gained from it already as it is. For the time being, I'm just praying that October would be a calmer month, relatively. 

As for this blog, I'm not sure where I will go with it but I will try to see what I can do with my camera. Funny how things had changed regarding this blog, from being about a conlang (which I don't work with anymore right now) to something about my photography, and my personal life. I definitely need to rest, some way, some how…

Backies…

Hello! Here I am, posting again, after some break from blogging. Actually, this post is just a little announcement to tell that I'm still around and didn't forget completely about blogging, despite the lack of content really!

August had been such a busy month for me and still. To add more load to the mix, I'm officially back to work now (with all the rush-hour jams and those nasty stuff). However, I've been taking my first steps in recognizing my disability with Retinitis Pigmentosa; Meaning, I will be given the "special needs" (or "disabled" if you will) status in an official way and in return I'll be given some "small" advantages here and there (like a special permit to park my car in special needs/disability parking lot vacancy). However, the far-fetched goal is to get a "medical retirement" if possible.
The whole story is just still at its beginnings and I'm already having some problems or glitches in the system because of the paperwork and the messy job done by some in such governmental agencies. From my side, I've done all the required tests so far and I'm just waiting for the final decree in my case by some committees (and all that related jargon). I'm living in somewhat strange status, where I feel pressed and relieved at same time. I just hope these people don't make it harder for me to get that certificate and getting my retirement ASAP. Worrying is inevitable here and I just wish that I could blink and all is over with. 

Photo Work

Aside the paperwork that I've just mentioned, not much has been done photo-wise except for editing some old photos. However, I did indeed re-create some new panoramas from old ones as I was planning to be adding them to my Mostphotos exclusively, as large files to be downloaded and printed. As I'm typing this, I've already uploaded 2 more, and 3 more are waiting to be keyworded to be uploaded, but I'm having some hard time in creating keywords for these panoramas, and to focus in general. My brain feels fuzzy and blank. 

Failakan Sunset

Entry

In editing old photos, I've been revisiting old folders, as far back as 2011 (and even 2009) and been trying some new tricks on these old photos, specially those that were never touched because I deemed them useless (and this is one more reason to not delete bad photos). In the process, I've kind of "invented" some technique or style I would say for creating a linear art out of the photo. I'm also considering writing a blog post in Arabic for my Arabic blog about this technique specifically.
I liked the style of these images actually and I'm considering also doing a series of photos (or even taking new photos for this purpose) all to be in such linear art form and upload them to the stocks. Just an idea so far and if I would go ahead with it, I might consider mainly photos of fishes or plants. I think this technique is also suitable to create some of these "coloring book"-styled images.

The Shining Kisser (linear)
A sample of such art

Anyway, all of that is going on at the back of my head at the moment since I'm busy with other things specially with me going back to work right now. My mind is totally blank that I'm out of new ideas to shoot with my camera, and I didn't touch it in months right now. In order to get my fingers cracking with it, I've tried to shoot my 8-month old nephew in the house (it was also some practice for using the back-focus button, but seems this method is not in my favor for the time being).

Finale

So, this is a quick coming-back post. Without much fuss for the time being! I think I need to check previous posts to see where did I stop with photos, or maybe I'll start something completely new away from that series of posts.I'm not sure yet. Meanwhile, I need to prepare for that Arabic post for my Arabic blog, so I'm not sure I will be able to prepare a post for the week after the next. But I will try.
On the other hand, the weather here is miserable (i.e. normal) and I just can't wait for winter to be here, or at least fall (if such thing exists here). In the past few days I had to run errands, coming and going with my sister, under such sun, and such hell. Also most of the days in the past week were humid that it feels like drinking water just by going outside; And it's NOT a cold one.
As my brain is wandering off with ideas and images of what would happen next as I'm going through my plans for retirement, as well as Retinitis Pigmentosa itself, I'm trying hard to keep my feet firm into reality with this mundane day-to-day life. Other matters are also occupying my mind and take space, and it feels like my head will explode any moment now. But all in all, I'm trying my best to keep calm (and that makes me tired all the time really).
So, as for the camera work, I'm waiting for winter as I'm thinking of doing something at night like in the old days. These ideas were ignited when I started looking at some of my old panoramas from the seaside and I noticed how the stars did actually show clearly in the night sky in that panorama despite the high ISO and the noise, but they are there (and I will upload it soon to Mostphotos after keywording). This time, though, my plans involve using the modified camera to capture the seascape at night and not a full panorama. I wish though. We'll see about that when winter comes. For the time being, there are things that are just about enough to keep me worrying… and they are doing such a great job.

Sláinte...

I'm here now, typing this from the Travelodge hotel in Ballymun, Dublin. It's kind of weird here to live without AC but only a heater - while the window doesn't permit much cold air in, and permits lot of noise from the main street. Anyway, it is just one night and I'm off.
I think I will be heading to the airport early. My flight is around 11 a.m. but I will check out from here around 8 a.m. and who knows what kind of traffic jams waiting on the road anyway.
As soon as I arrived here I had to get some deodorants from a pharmacy adjacent to the hotel (lucky me!), as my socks and shoes and about everything in me just sucks big time after yesterday's adventure! I'm going to use those deodorants with them and hopefully it will work, temporarily at least.
Tomorrow is the goodbye day to Ireland...

Slán Éirinn, beidh tú a mheabhrú i gcónaí

Here I am...

Here I am, this is me, there is no where else on Earth I'd rather be... I'm back finally from the Hajj ritual and accompanied with some slight sickness in the nose and throat. Typical. The good thing is, I got it at the very end while I was packing my suitcase and getting ready to leave Saudi Arabia. I've endured so many hardships in the pilgrimage (beating, squeezing, crushing, ...etc) but all of that made me stronger somehow, but at the end I had to fall down for a virus!

I didn't take a camera in my traveling and I shouldn't in fact. It is a sensitive issue and also I would put a burden on my back to take care of my camera in that world. The rushing was abnormal. Simply, it is like the judgement day or a miniature of that in some sense. Millions of people go altogether. Anyway, here I am, alive. There were nice natural views (the mountains and hills of Medina and Makkah) but oh well, I had to pass. Now I'm trying to get up from this sudden sickness (which was not weird thing to happen really) and I'm trying to get up on my feet again. I have many things to do now and my vacation will be over by November 17th; a week from now. I will start directly then with a training course that will last a week too.
For now, I'm trying to find new ways for curing my coldness. After shaving all my hair (as a requirement for Hajj), now, temperatures that sounded OK with me are just too cold now! I need my hair back!!!

Kuwait is chilly and I'm glad I'm back here. The temperature this morning was ranging from 8C to 14C. Simply awesome. I like winter....