Selfies Go Leor…

Well, seems my stalemate is still going on with my Scopa project on hold for the lack of resources (well, models). I'm trying to work on other projects as much as possible, but with the back of rush hours and schools, I'm literally drained out of power every time I'm back home from work and now I need to cope with afternoons naps mechanisms! Yet, this is not the only frustrating thing to deal with, more to come later below.

Schizophrenia

This is one of the ideas I've probably put in a list in my last post. Some idea to reflect the inner struggle, and I was turning around this idea in my head some time before even discovering that I'm an INFP-T type according to some tests. Yet, looking at it at some specific angle, it does look like reflecting on one side of that personality type. Anyway, I preferred to call it Schizophrenia. 

Schizophrenia

The blending work with this work was not a big deal and somehow done quickly (compared to what I used to do with the peeling effect). However, there are a number of mistakes that I've realized after finishing this work, and even after doing my final touches to this little project. But let's first see some aspects of "behind the scene:"

• Four speedlites were used here: Two reflecting from a cardboard below and two bounced off the ceiling. This system is often called the Clam shell lighting.
• To kill the ambient light as much as possible, I needed to use HSS mode to go over the sync speed (shot at 1/400s), at f/8 with ISO 160.
• Technically, my brother is the photographer but since I'm the one who directed everything and all he has to do is press the button, I think I have to say it's my own work ^_^ - Anyway, he is still having a problem with focusing properly!
• Shot using Voigtländer 20mm with B+W 092 Infrared filter. I definitely had to work with infrared here since it provides quite and interesting contrast and looks (and not just turning my eyes blue!).
• I had to satisfy myself in the beginning with the background, which I wished for to be completely black (and black substances are hard to work with in infrared as well).

After finishing with all the work with the camera, it was the time then for processing the images. It was here essentially that I've found out about my mistakes but it would be hard to go back and re-do the whole thing, but let it be a lesson to learn from. 

• Initially, I wanted to show each face on its own, but then I've found myself attaching the eyes together as it looked more proper and smoother in transition in blend between the different faces. This issued the problem with the expressions: facial expressions are not clear for the lack of the eye compliment.
• Among the faces, where I tried to mimic fear, anger, sadness, and absence of mind, I've found myself forgetting about one of the basic expressions: Happiness and smiling.
• Using a wide-angle lens was a grave mistake. I was aiming at cropping the images from the beginning and this is why I used a wide-angle lens (to have more space to cut). However, looking at it now, probably I should have used my 50mm lens for this project. The final finish is actually such a small image that would be barely suitable to be printed on A4 size!
• Despite using ISO 160 which is proved to be my native ISO, yet the noise frequency was somehow higher than the usual unlike the tests I've done! Could it be because of the sensor being overheating? Not sure.

The background here had to be done in a special process, since I wanted to add a dark atmosphere to the scene. I used Lens Blur for the background and added some vignetting to the whole scene as well. The eyes, specifically, needed some push in exposure as well so I dodged them a little to let them shine. This little work now in fact gives me further ideas to think about doing later on as well. Maybe I could have done something extra to this same project, like taking more images and find a way to merge them, with more mouths and more eyes - but then it wouldn't be much about Schizophrenia probably!

Che

I've been fascinated for some time by the portrait done for Che Guevara (the portrait, not the person). I've been dubbing this type or form of art or effect as a Seal Effect, as it resembles somehow the shape of the wax seal when stamped. However, I'm not aware if there is any good name for this, and probably I should just called it the Che Effect! In my previous post, I've posted a selfie which I've edited in a similar way somehow. I'm aware though that Che's portrait is most probably a work of art, meaning not a manipulation for some photograph of him; I'm not really not sure. Anyway, I tried my best with that selfie of mine to mimic the effect with whatever tools I have available for me in PS. 

Selfie Seal

Generally speaking, I think this effect would do better if the selfie is shot with one flash or speedlite; In other words, one-directional light. Techniques like the Low-Key would do better here. It's all about the play of light and shadows, and the dramatic look. However, this is just my own notes about it, and in fact I've tried to work with another selfie (part of the Schizophrenia project above) which was lit on two sides instead of one, and I still did get some reasonable final result as will be shown in few.

Original selfie, which was in fact a
screen capture rather than a saved
file from the original shot!

The Ghost

 I've taken this selfie and with some clicks and effects I've ended up with the desired result. I've found myself forced to use excessive sharpening as well before doing the whole work to provide some enough grains to be merged later as black areas of some sort. Anyway, after finishing the image, I felt there was something missing. Without much feeling about it, I've got into the Liquify command in Photoshop and just started splashing things randomly and the result was something more of... a Ghost peeking at me. Doing such work with my selfies does in fact inspire me to do more ideas with myself, since it's hard to find anyone willing to work with me, even for few minutes. Some suggested to hire a model, which it possible of course. However, under the current circumstances and finances, it is better to be off away from this option for the time being, and needless to say, I do not consider myself a professional portrait photographer and not even someone who has a keen interest in this subject. It is just random ideas kicking in and out of my head and I feel myself compelled to do them. What is amazing about this last work, The Ghost, it did in fact kick in some desire for poetry back and without knowing it I was there typing a poem. Though random probably with scattered feelings, but it was something to be done.

The Ghost.
-
There he was,
and there he is.
A gazing figure,
an apprentice.
-
Pale in horror,
a figure of shame.
Terror, he served me,
by terror, him I tame.
-
Friendly Ghost,
and black is the color.
Timidly a Ghost,
fierce in angst and valor.
-
Opposites rhyme,
only in his caress.
Touching my heart,
set me in abyss.
-
Awful, how he looks,
such a beauty in misery.
Gazer I was upon that,
Alas, in that mirror,
That Ghost was just me.

The poem was also posted on Writing.com, which I didn't use in a long time now. There is a great urge to go back to writing, specially after reading how my typical INFP-T personality would act and react, which I find 95% of it is correct indeed. That personality report did give me some confidence which I was lacking, and restored my image of myself to myself, after believing that I was abnormal in some aspects. But this is who I am indeed...

Finale

There is an increasing feeling of leaving everything and just isolate myself, there in my room, and preferably doing nothing. I'm literally getting tired of everything. As for my Scopa project which I need to finish, and it should be finished with because some people are waiting for the results, I'm so tired for chasing after some people to shoot for this project. Re-doing any shot is a catastrophic aftermath as well, if there is any need be. This rest might include blogging as well; I have to admit that blogging does indeed put some stress on me to finish it in time. Probably I would invest all that time in shooting photos and sleeping! If only I don't have to go to work anyway...
One of the disasters that I've found out lately, as I'm planning to do my Retinitis Pigmentosa Month project, is the fact that in this country NO blind stick or cane is to be found any where by any vendor!!! I was advised to call major pharmacies for some private hospitals and clinics to check with them, but seeing how things did go with some major companies of medical supplies here, I'm not optimistic that I would be able to find any. I have now 2 options, and as we say in Arabic: "The sweetest of them is bitter." Option one, is to mimic the looks of the cane or maybe use a regular cane instead. Second option, is to change my whole idea for this project and try to find some other idea to implement which requires no cane. I'm inclined to pick the second option but I have to think quick. Not sure if brainstorming would do here either. Can you imagine a country with no blind-canes around?! I can, of course, order these, but I really have no time to waste waiting for such a shipment, so I've neglected this idea. However, I might indeed order such a cane in some other time as I find it interesting to train myself using it. After all, I'm a person with some eye disease, and not sure when all that is visual simply stops working for me…