Well, it's been such a cold weekend, or whole week actually, and I kind of feel something is wasted for not going out to shoot in such weather like in the old days. Alas, I have to accept the reality and satisfy myself with cozy warm room, long sleep as much as I can, and songs from the 1990s when something called "Romance" did exist, at least in songs.
It seems that I've already finished talking about my activities in December 2022, so I'm supposed to hop into what I've been up to lately in 2023, where I've done 3 strolls (sort of). However, since it is February, Retinitis Pigmentosa Awareness Month, I've decided to post about my single experiment (so far) to shoot something for this occasion. I'm not sure if I can shoot something else in this narrow time gap till the end of February but anyway it shouldn't be such a limitation in case any new ideas came about later on.

RP 2023

As usual, the beginning was hard. Ideas simply didn't come about however I tried. I've tried brainstorming using some websites to create random thoughts and hence random ideas in relation to the topic of Retinitis Pigmentosa, but all the trials just failed.
The idea (and only one so far, at the time of typing this) didn't come about till the family here wished to do some grilling outside!

Grilling Night

I shot Grilling Night from the balcony with my Huawei phone. It did take some considerable time to rectify the image as much as possible but I guess there are still some tilted lines in it. Anyway, this shot is not that important (though I really like it!), but it was about the beginning of the inspiration when I saw that sack of coal lying around. 

The black color just triggered many things inside my head, and not just in relation to my Retinitis Pigmentosa. Thus, I've set my aim to do something with that coal. Luckily, I do have an acrylic transparent board which I keep for such "photographic missions" whenever I need it. The initial thought was to take a picture of my eye, looking through the darkness, in a symbolic gesture for coping with the loss of peripheral vision. However, talking about it proved to be WAY easier than doing it. 

Roundflash Softbox

I decided first to work outside in the yard (the one seen in Grilling Night above) and it was just my luck that rains started to pour down on and off for about 3 days. To add more to my troubles, coal proved to be hard to break and I didn't have proper tools and preparations (gloves and towels and other stuff) to work. The least to say about the situation is that it was a miserable one! All these conditions, beside lacking the means to let the coal really stick to the acrylic board (I'm not ready to sacrifice it and I need to wash it afterward) - all of these issues made me realize that probably I should put "authenticity" aside and just do the whole thing as a graphic design, combining two images; one for the coal, and the other for my eye.

The other issue was with the lighting. In the beginning, I've wanted to use speedlites on the side of the coal to give out some texture but then changed my mind in order to work faster (because I'd need to make a setup for the speedlite on the side) and decided to use the Roundflash softbox which is something I didn't use in ages. It is ironic how it is now publicized as a "softbox"; When I got this item years ago, it was supposed to be a cheap macro photography solution, which proved to be an awkward claim and it was completely impractical for such a field. It is still impractical here in this situation too because of the size and the bulkiness, and using my 50mm lens made it hard to stabilize this whole item on the camera and speedlite (it requires a somewhat longer lens to fit in the middle). Anyway, with all these hurdles, this tool still had its nice effect on the eye when shooting portraiture.

The final coal layer on the acrylic board

Now, there was another problem for using this Roundflash to shoot the coal, and specifically directly from above almost at 90°, which didn't yield much details for the texture. I have to admit though at this moment I was reliant on my capabilities with editing RAW files and doing other tricks in Photoshop; Something that a photographer shouldn't just take for granted when working on projects because bad surprises are, well, abundant in that category of work. Anyhow, I've decided to shoot 10 images (actually didn't count them it was just random) and I was moving the coal pieces around the acrylic board to create some textures with the hope that one image from all of this mess would be the "one". Later on in Photoshop though, I've realized that I could stack all these images and merge them into one smart object and set a specific mode for stacking. After trying several ones, I've settled with median (and mean mode was also good). 

The eye layer

Now I though working with the Roundflash would be an easy task with the camera on the tripod but I was completely wrong; It was even more cumbersome than when the camera is handheld, because of the tripod legs which obstructed the Roundflash which had a somewhat large diameter. Anyway, I've managed to work with it anyhow despite the Roundflash not being completely straight and round. It was hard to shoot my own eye in that manner so I had to use the help of my brother to check the location of my head using the LiveView and also I had to use 12mm extension tube with the 50mm lens to get as close as possible to the lens. In fact, I was going to get even closer and use other tubes but as I got closer, it was hard for the Roundflash to light my eye, so I had to satisfy myself with this and rely, again, on post-processing to focus on the eye. I had also to use larger f-number (I think it was around f/13) to ensure the sharpness (or the depth of field that is).

Through The Darkness

I won't go through the post-processing mess to create Through The Darkness here, but probably you have noticed how the coal layer turned green-ish. It was even greener but I've reduced the saturation and I really wanted to turn it to black and gray, but seeing how the green helped a bit in giving a texture, and also kind of balances the red tones in the eye layer (which of course underwent many post-processing techniques), I've decided then to just let it be green but with lesser saturation (as it is supposed to be the "darkness"). There was some resizing involved as well to let the gap narrower, and to make things a bit "realistic" to some extent, I've decided to add a touch of shadow to the coal layer. 

With this, my work for the main image for RP 2023 had ended and so far, at the time of typing this, I didn't quite think of any more ideas to do regarding this topic. I might use these test images for other projects though; I think they'll be useful somehow in the future. The shot got "relatively" higher number of likes on IG which makes me somehow satisfied about the results even though my perfectionist side is still nagging deep inside of me for not doing things in-camera. 

Finale

Some storms are calming down, and I'm hoping not temporarily. My sleeping schedule had been screwed up again just like the sweet old times, where I stay awake all night and sleep most of the day. I guess it's just my natural defense against the hurdles of life and the way i seek quiet and calm atmosphere in this house.
I've left myself with the question "What's next?" but as usual, I can't find an answer to this question. People talk about traveling here and there but I really don't know how would they think about such a thing under the current crazy situation worldwide. One might say "just travel to near by countries to change scenery"; Easy said than done. This region is just out of question (and order) and I really would need a place to escape my reality, for a bit.

On the other hand, I'm still thinking as well about my next move with the camera and what ideas I might try work with. There are many old stuff crossing my mind at the moment (like finding a way to capture a 3D anaglyph video using DSLRs or phone cameras) but I do feel some kind of pressure for doing something concerning photography in the first place. So far, I've been out strolling and trying to capture images from the neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods twice, and I might make it for a third and fourth time as well, but all I can do is to hope. In addition to that, I still have the issue of my Arabic blog which I didn't post anything in for months (already breaking my resolution so hard).

As for now, I think I'll just waste some of my days listening to some memories-sparking music from 1990s…