Well, it's been such a cold weekend, or whole week actually, and I kind of feel something is wasted for not going out to shoot in such weather like in the old days. Alas, I have to accept the reality and satisfy myself with cozy warm room, long sleep as much as I can, and songs from the 1990s when something called "Romance" did exist, at least in songs.
It seems that I've already finished talking about my activities in December 2022, so I'm supposed to hop into what I've been up to lately in 2023, where I've done 3 strolls (sort of). However, since it is February, Retinitis Pigmentosa Awareness Month, I've decided to post about my single experiment (so far) to shoot something for this occasion. I'm not sure if I can shoot something else in this narrow time gap till the end of February but anyway it shouldn't be such a limitation in case any new ideas came about later on.

RP 2023

As usual, the beginning was hard. Ideas simply didn't come about however I tried. I've tried brainstorming using some websites to create random thoughts and hence random ideas in relation to the topic of Retinitis Pigmentosa, but all the trials just failed.
The idea (and only one so far, at the time of typing this) didn't come about till the family here wished to do some grilling outside!

Grilling Night

I shot Grilling Night from the balcony with my Huawei phone. It did take some considerable time to rectify the image as much as possible but I guess there are still some tilted lines in it. Anyway, this shot is not that important (though I really like it!), but it was about the beginning of the inspiration when I saw that sack of coal lying around. 

The black color just triggered many things inside my head, and not just in relation to my Retinitis Pigmentosa. Thus, I've set my aim to do something with that coal. Luckily, I do have an acrylic transparent board which I keep for such "photographic missions" whenever I need it. The initial thought was to take a picture of my eye, looking through the darkness, in a symbolic gesture for coping with the loss of peripheral vision. However, talking about it proved to be WAY easier than doing it. 

Roundflash Softbox

I decided first to work outside in the yard (the one seen in Grilling Night above) and it was just my luck that rains started to pour down on and off for about 3 days. To add more to my troubles, coal proved to be hard to break and I didn't have proper tools and preparations (gloves and towels and other stuff) to work. The least to say about the situation is that it was a miserable one! All these conditions, beside lacking the means to let the coal really stick to the acrylic board (I'm not ready to sacrifice it and I need to wash it afterward) - all of these issues made me realize that probably I should put "authenticity" aside and just do the whole thing as a graphic design, combining two images; one for the coal, and the other for my eye.

The other issue was with the lighting. In the beginning, I've wanted to use speedlites on the side of the coal to give out some texture but then changed my mind in order to work faster (because I'd need to make a setup for the speedlite on the side) and decided to use the Roundflash softbox which is something I didn't use in ages. It is ironic how it is now publicized as a "softbox"; When I got this item years ago, it was supposed to be a cheap macro photography solution, which proved to be an awkward claim and it was completely impractical for such a field. It is still impractical here in this situation too because of the size and the bulkiness, and using my 50mm lens made it hard to stabilize this whole item on the camera and speedlite (it requires a somewhat longer lens to fit in the middle). Anyway, with all these hurdles, this tool still had its nice effect on the eye when shooting portraiture.

The final coal layer on the acrylic board

Now, there was another problem for using this Roundflash to shoot the coal, and specifically directly from above almost at 90°, which didn't yield much details for the texture. I have to admit though at this moment I was reliant on my capabilities with editing RAW files and doing other tricks in Photoshop; Something that a photographer shouldn't just take for granted when working on projects because bad surprises are, well, abundant in that category of work. Anyhow, I've decided to shoot 10 images (actually didn't count them it was just random) and I was moving the coal pieces around the acrylic board to create some textures with the hope that one image from all of this mess would be the "one". Later on in Photoshop though, I've realized that I could stack all these images and merge them into one smart object and set a specific mode for stacking. After trying several ones, I've settled with median (and mean mode was also good). 

The eye layer

Now I though working with the Roundflash would be an easy task with the camera on the tripod but I was completely wrong; It was even more cumbersome than when the camera is handheld, because of the tripod legs which obstructed the Roundflash which had a somewhat large diameter. Anyway, I've managed to work with it anyhow despite the Roundflash not being completely straight and round. It was hard to shoot my own eye in that manner so I had to use the help of my brother to check the location of my head using the LiveView and also I had to use 12mm extension tube with the 50mm lens to get as close as possible to the lens. In fact, I was going to get even closer and use other tubes but as I got closer, it was hard for the Roundflash to light my eye, so I had to satisfy myself with this and rely, again, on post-processing to focus on the eye. I had also to use larger f-number (I think it was around f/13) to ensure the sharpness (or the depth of field that is).

Through The Darkness

I won't go through the post-processing mess to create Through The Darkness here, but probably you have noticed how the coal layer turned green-ish. It was even greener but I've reduced the saturation and I really wanted to turn it to black and gray, but seeing how the green helped a bit in giving a texture, and also kind of balances the red tones in the eye layer (which of course underwent many post-processing techniques), I've decided then to just let it be green but with lesser saturation (as it is supposed to be the "darkness"). There was some resizing involved as well to let the gap narrower, and to make things a bit "realistic" to some extent, I've decided to add a touch of shadow to the coal layer. 

With this, my work for the main image for RP 2023 had ended and so far, at the time of typing this, I didn't quite think of any more ideas to do regarding this topic. I might use these test images for other projects though; I think they'll be useful somehow in the future. The shot got "relatively" higher number of likes on IG which makes me somehow satisfied about the results even though my perfectionist side is still nagging deep inside of me for not doing things in-camera. 

Finale

Some storms are calming down, and I'm hoping not temporarily. My sleeping schedule had been screwed up again just like the sweet old times, where I stay awake all night and sleep most of the day. I guess it's just my natural defense against the hurdles of life and the way i seek quiet and calm atmosphere in this house.
I've left myself with the question "What's next?" but as usual, I can't find an answer to this question. People talk about traveling here and there but I really don't know how would they think about such a thing under the current crazy situation worldwide. One might say "just travel to near by countries to change scenery"; Easy said than done. This region is just out of question (and order) and I really would need a place to escape my reality, for a bit.

On the other hand, I'm still thinking as well about my next move with the camera and what ideas I might try work with. There are many old stuff crossing my mind at the moment (like finding a way to capture a 3D anaglyph video using DSLRs or phone cameras) but I do feel some kind of pressure for doing something concerning photography in the first place. So far, I've been out strolling and trying to capture images from the neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods twice, and I might make it for a third and fourth time as well, but all I can do is to hope. In addition to that, I still have the issue of my Arabic blog which I didn't post anything in for months (already breaking my resolution so hard).

As for now, I think I'll just waste some of my days listening to some memories-sparking music from 1990s…

Plethora…

With Summer course coming to an end, things are becoming quiet in my workplace, which is good. Now, if only I can turn this oven off for such a weather. The quiet time has come over to my activities with the camera as well, as I've finished documenting most of the small shells collection and I'm trying to do some experiments regarding an "artificial aperture" if I can call it so. No need to talk about it for now, and somewhat I feel it will fail but I didn't finish experimenting still as I'm typing these words.

Shellelagh

Well, I know, the original word is "Shillelagh" but changed here on purpose. In this section, I just would like to list some of the latest shell shots I've made; And some of them seem interesting. I think I did have another collection elsewhere but can't remember where did I keep it. Anyway, for the time being, I'm going to satisfy myself with this one and, who knows, maybe re-shoot it again at different angles or with different magnifications... etc.

I did mention in my previous blog post here that I had a problem with my Bolt LED ring light, and that problem was that it could not be fitted on Vello's macrofier which helps me on reversing the lens and achieve greater magnification at the least effort, and with better focusing range. Well, as you can see here, the problem seems to have been partially solved with some electric tape. I had to tape the edges of the adapter ring to the macrofier (and secure that with another strip of tape on the circumference of the macrofier). Only then, I was able to click the LED ring onto the macrofier. The situation was shaky, and the main problem was the quality of the tape itself; IT SUCKED big time. That's why I needed to secure it with a strip across the circumference. Anyway, I did take some shots in this setting and things were interesting as well!

The previous two shots were shot using this DIY solution with Bolt LED ring. Of course, at f/11, I didn't use the flash property of the ring, but rather kept it on (like a modeling light on regular speedlites and strobes) and each shot for the stack did take few parts of a second (still longer than 1/250s, the sync speed). Another problem rose up here is the bulkiness of the ring which sometimes made it cumbersome to do focus stacking at specific angles, but I blame that on the setting I'm having already to shoot these shells. As I get closer and closer to the shell, there is a chance that the LED ring light would hit the edge of the box or the table upon which the shell would be residing. All in all, it is a promising venue and I might find myself using it again to have somewhat balanced lighting around my subject, as well as some interesting luster as in Shell Fudge. The baby oil here did some good job. Anyway, after shooting these two, I was back to using my speedlite to shoot.

The main reason for switching back to the speedlite (with light bender attached to it) was to add some unidirectional light to give a sense of depth to the subject this time. The grooves on this shell, as can be seen in the documentation shot above, called for some depth. Not saying it won't be beautiful under a flat light like the one from Bolt but it is just the role of the idea, and I wouldn't be able to judge for real until I see the final results and compare between the unidirectional and the flat light. Anyway, after the documentation, it was the time to do some work, as usual, with focus stacking.

Because of the relative size of the shell, I didn't wish to go with extreme macro and lose sight of the fine lines here, so I just used extension tubes to get closer to the shell with my 50mm lens. Ironically though, it does seem to be quite a magnification (by looks) despite being less than 1x even! I think it is the power of Abstract. I can't remember how many shots were taken to do the focus stack for MacroPiping but the speedlite's main batteries were dying out already, and when I started to work with An Fathach later, it went down completely in the mid of my work. So, I had to satisfy myself with that much of shots and do the focus stacking for An Fathach at that level alone.

It was a good thing that I used baby oil here but in a different technique. Instead of dipping the shell, I used cotton swabs (those used to clean the ears) to pass the oil on the shell in every possible way. Adding to that, the shell was left for a relatively longer time than other shells before to be exposed before shooting it, and that somehow made the oil get "absorbed" or something. Anyway, the luster was not harsh like before because of this AND because of diffusing (using a paper) and using a relatively lower power for the speedlite (and somewhat raising the ISO a bit).  Well, despite the lower power, still, the speedlite died out as I was working on An Fathach! Worth noting here that An Fathach was worked out using the LAB technique to enhance and pronounce the colors further. This is all for the work with shells so far but I might work further when I find more shells hiding in my room or something! I'm sure I did have more those small ones.

Stroll

As it is quiet in my workplace, I decided to take my camera gear with me (minus the tripod) just to try the new Neewer infrared filters which I got a while ago. I didn't have much in mind to do really, but the shots I've made proved to be "awesome" in their own way, as it came clear later on.

One of the goals I had in mind, though, is to try to use the high IR filters (of thresholds starting from 820nm and beyond) to show the blood vessels. Showing the veins using IR is common now I presume in the medical field, but I'm talking here about mere photography using infrared filters. I tried to use the speedlites (well, more like the on-camera flash and high ISO) but seems it didn't work well. I thought, then, that we might need some higher intensity of infrared, and thus thought of shooting my own hand as you can see above, under the blazing sun around my workplace. Why my workplace? Well, this is the only time of the day that I have time, power, AND mood to work under the sun like that. After going back home I'll be completely exhausted and barely able to touch the camera even. Hand Veins was shot using IR950, which supposedly has a threshold of 950nm and the veins did show clear under the thumb (mount of Venus as they call it in palmistry) as well as some tiny veins around the index and the little fingers. The image above had been cleaned off noise a bit but still the veins look clear. 

I tried to shoot my own foot as well and see the veins, and they did show a bit actually but probably the distance didn't help here (using my Voigtländer 20mm lens here). The look was pretty interesting here; The black sandal turned white, the blue pants turned white, and the white nails turned black! I did take several shots trying out to adjust the focus (manual here, no AF) and eventually turned these shots into an anaglyph. The illusion of the depth is not bad either.

The remaining of the stroll spent on trying various infrared filters as well as the H-alpha (dubbed as "Night Sky" filter!). I like to call this filter a "weak infrared" since it works in the range of the Reds and infrared. Worth noting that all these shots were shot without calibrating the white balance in-camera, and all was done while processing the RAWs. 

While processing these test shots for IR750 and the H-alpha filters, I've increased the Vibrance of the colors intentionally to show the faint colors. Well, they were not so faint with the H-alpha filter in Alienizing but it was for the better. Moreover, channel swapping gave the leaves that distinctive reddish look and turned the sky blue. If I want to talk about those artistic infrared filters with their colorful look, I would say that the H-alpha filter is the one to pick for this mission here! My old B+W 092 infrared filter (threshold about 650nm or so) did render some colors as well but probably not to this degree. My stroll at work did not end there, though, and there was some more to come, but not till I had to go back home and check these test shots again and again.

Plethora

In that stroll at work, there were many test shots for other infrared filters like the IR850 and IR950 again and again and they were rather random. Some of them were even out of focus a bit (ir's hard to focus using LiveView under the harsh sun). However, it was a chance to play!

I'm not sure how things started with this play, but probably I was under the influence of the Islamic geometrical arts (naturally, I'm fond of them but never practiced them). I've been reading about some of the details of these creations, particularly in Andalusia, and I do follow already some artists who perform such arts (and they are not Arabs nor Muslims). It is mesmerizing indeed, the way of combining those abstract lines and then create complex regular patterns out of such lines. Frankly, I could never understand it. Anyway, all I have here is simply Photoshop and a single photo in front of me, with which Octuplum Abstracta and other patterns or textures were made. In fact, I already envision Octuplum Abstracta as a design on a tile or ceramics of some sort and used for building. Not sure how this is done and how it's possible but if I can I would. This actually lead me further to more abstracts, starting with Octuplum Abstracta just to envision how a tiling using this design or abstract would look like…

The result is mesmerizing. I wish now if I have a room (or even a bathroom) with this complexity (with maybe some vibrancy to the colors added). The possibilities are endless, and you can still get some regular shapes and lines with every setting you might think of; Just like in a kaleidoscope.  All of that was just from a single photo alone, but yet I had to check other photos as well (mainly those which I couldn't make out something out of).

While Octuplum Abstracta was somewhat random in its creation, Black Magic was not. Not completely but I did have this idea of creating a 16-fold star or polygon out of the photo, unlike the eight-fold done in Octuplum Abstracta. I did read that 16 points stars in the Islamic geometrical designs are not common, and probably those of 24 points are even more scarce. Thus, I've set my mind on creating 16-fold polygon out of this photo and so the work on replication and arranging the copies of ONE image were all somewhat calculated and not random completely. I can't remember even what was the original photo! In Black Magic, I inverted the colors by the end of the work and it proved more dramatic than its original almost dull blue or cyan color (typical color for processed infrared images). I was not disappointed. Now this design, I envision it to be on some sort of fabrics as well as ceramics. I don't have a commercial mind unfortunately, but these 3 abstracts above are uploaded and accepted already in a number of stock websites like Canstockphoto, Dreamstime, 123RF, as well as Mostphotos. I might even consider working on some old photos to create abstracts and textures, but I also have to make sure not to forget about my camera and to do some original photos as well (which I'm trying hard during these days as well).

Finale

I've probably talked about this poem which I was thinking of jotting down in my previous blog post, and after some hard mental work (with the help of some randomness from some brainstorming websites) I did pin down something, which I've callled Smashed. 

Smashed

The poem was originally inspired by the looks of a shell as I was doing my work on documenting them (as you can see on the left). I loved its shape, its colors (channels swapped here) and the stripes, despite all the breaks and holes in it. I think it even lost its topmost tip. Yet, it still looks beautiful. I was moved and I have to say that I don't usually get moved by a static object like this and typically I would need more to ignite my writing appetite. But well, let's say challenge accepted. 

Smashed

Common as it appears to most
an apogee had never risen up
But how often obviously hidden
truth of matters out of a sudden
Beauty need not to boast.

Such as a Palestinian home
deprived, and setting off a ghost town
Attitude never deemed it hollow
on the struggles, it has to follow
A home sweeter than Rome.

A rider over the heart-breaks
mending it life-long as you are
By the cracking, the shimmering glow
elegance, of hope, of which you show
Despite the mistakes.

In swiftness pass over my cheek
the glamour, and all that keeps me warm
By the touch, which in holes is filled
and by sweetness which you've fulfilled
Smashed and so is unique.

The rhyming scheme here is ABCCA. I've stated before that I use Verse Perfect to write poems and it has many aids including rhyming styles, yet ABCCA is not one of them. I'm not sure why I picked this style really but probably things were initiated in that way from the beginning of the writing (typing) process. I did find some samples on the internet as I was searching for more information about this style, yet it didn't really have a name it seems and samples of such a rhyme are rare (in my case I've found only one). Yet, after reading it further and further, I might apology with some regret for the (B) part in the rhyming scale; Probably should have turned it into (A) to be AABBA. But is not that rhyming scheme so common? The rhyming here is not the end of the story actually. The hardest part for me was to keep a static syllable count for the verses as much as possible, and that was kept at (8,9,9,9,6). I'm not sure if readers usually pay attention to the count of syllables when they read poetry, but my thinking is that keeping them concrete and static does help the harmony in some way, specially if the syllable count was the same between supposedly rhyming lines.

Putting this now, I'm still working on some pinhole experiments, which unfortunately didn't work out well till now but in hope that I might be able to post about it in 2 weeks or so. We'll see. I do need to write a poem as well. Many feelings are there in the air but it's just the time needed and the focus to pick up one of these seeds and grow it in a soil of thoughts; Plus the work of course. 

In a bit more than 2 weeks from now, my birthday is coming and I'm turning 38. Ironically, at this age, I don't know where I'm going or heading. With all the blessings I have, despite the things that swing my mood like a golf club, I'm still unable to focus nor really enjoy what I have. Not sure why, but maybe I'm tired of everything? I know that I have a lot of things to be thankful for, yet I feel there is something missing that without it, all is nothing. Probably this is what they call Midlife Crisis? I don't know. Travel, travel, travel... if only I know when or how, or where to. A change of scenery is long due and I can't do anything about it yet…

Alone...

It is the beginning of August, when my birthday comes on the 17th!

It is now the first day of the week, and I'm all alone in the office as two of my co-workers are absent. The two are on leaves for various reasons, moreover, one of them asked for an expansion because he is still ill. The other was given a leave, as mentioned in previous posts. Thus, I can say that loneliness creeped not only into my own life, but even to my work as well. The situation is good except for having to type and answering phone calls. If it was for working in the lab, I don't have much problems. This day as well was spent somehow in idling around with chatters. I didn't do anything with my translation for days, which makes me feel a bit bad and out of control. My mood swings are severe these days.

On the other hand, despite my mood is affecting my ability to play some of the games that are waiting on the queue, I spend much time on photoshop and doing some designs for some "people" I know. I'm putting the word (people) in quotes, as you will know later what I'm talking about. They are cute people let's say! :)
My desire and running after beauty makes me chasing all over the photos and trying to change them however I can. I'm typing this as my photoshop at home is open still and still got an image of my little niece under the process of the making. Some of them (people) were kind enough to give me the permission to post the images here, in this boring blog.

Jaqueline (Belleza Bendita):
A girl with latin blood running down her veins. Well, no need to mention where is her place. She endowed me with her grace of 2 photos, and here are the results (click thumbnail):

I've been fond of latin beauty, always. She told me that in the second image, she was wearing contacts. To me, I think there is no difference. The eyes are beautiful with or without the contacts... but I would prefer to go natural with her hazel-colored eyes. I like her name too; it has that French sound to it. Age is for your guess as I won't tell in here!
Go on girl!

Renee:
A very moody girl, but she was cooperative enough to give these 2 photos. I see the Irish looks in her while she doesn't agree much with that and insists that her looks are more German than Irish, while amazingly enough, her name has a French tone. She has mixed roots anyway, but for some reason I can't stop thinking of the Irish roots when I see her face. After all, the judgement is yours. This play with her photo was hard. So hard in fact. This is due to the original size of the photos, and to the poses in the photos. Yet, one of the photos (the first to come later after this), in my point of view, was relatively nice and smooth with a dreamy effect on it. Thus, it was so hard to decide what to do with it or what kind of decoration should I amalgamate it with. I hope, however, the two designs are fine for people to see.
The second image contains the first verse of "Those Endearing Young Charms." A famous poem and song, first written by the infamous Irish poet, Thomas Moore.

I couldn't come up with better ideas except of putting a frame with Celtic designs on it. The wooden frame and the Celtic design are two solely made. Well, the Celtic thing was downloaded, but the frame was made from scratch with photoshop. The details of the wooden veins do not show clearly because of the size, but they need a bit of concentration maybe.

There are other works that I need to check if I can post or not, or to check if I SHOULD post or not. Not everyone might like to see their photos posted.

Away from this and back to the world of Reality, I've started to write some lines in the next chapter of the so-called "Blackened Image" story. I go to work now without picking my translation pack (in the envelope) where I keep the papers written with my own handwriting in Ayvarith. I want to completely concentrate on my story right now and well, I can barely have the mood to write down something, but it's going on, I hope.

On another note, I started writing my "black diary." I'm still thinking of a secure place to keep it, but can't think of something. Some names are mentioned there... so it better be in a secure place...

Stress

Trying to compensate and to manage between the various stresses I had about work, so I'm concentrating more upon poetry and writing, and trying to find a career within that field. Many people advised before to find a place in that domain since they read my poetry before.
In the time being I just finished writing my newest poem, Take Me. It is weird how one, or me at least, writes a poem. you don't feel anything... only words flow through your fingers. You smells things are not there, and see things you never did see before. A world of imagination and dreams (not necessarily happy ones) and then, tata, you are finished.
On the other side, I'm thinking also of stepping into the designing world, specially in the field of educational posters. I made some posters already for work, I believe I can handle that... all what I need is materials and ads.

Still writing on the story of Alexander and might as well soon finish, or let's say, get into the last scenery or last patch of the story. In the same time, I'm working on with my previous recordings to add some effects and change the pitch of my voice. Although I previously decided to do everything in Flash format but, seems I'm not gona use it completely... and I'm gona add the contents of the chapters one by one.

I think it is the time to prepare for my vacation in October now. I should start filling my visa application!

And The Battle Goes On...

Recovering from flu now and getting back to work, I'm trying hard (again) to complete the story of Alexander with its last part.
The story evolved into a battle between Alexander and the demon. There is no planning in the story, just going on with writing. For this reason, I'm stopping a lot and get many blocks where I cannot move further til I get some rest and get some time to proceed with the rest of the story. I reached line 300 so far, which is good I think!

In the meantime, I'm still working as well on my brother's website, and also I've created a blog for himself with a new email account in GMail. I think I shall take care of all these technical stuff later on even after finishing the website, because I don't think he can do all the advertising by himself and the blogging as well. I guess I will write the blog on his behalf. His blog now is:
fshamali.blogspot.com, Eye Image Designs blog.