Busy Busy Busy

It was one hard day at work... running here and there (and yesterday was as well) and checking with the latest updates and news at work.

I hate Mondays, but not because they are the first day of work, 'cos they aren't here, but most of problems happen in this day. I had a plan to help my friend by making a contact to someone and pray for some hope that I would get a feedback, but since it is Monday, the person I need to talk to was not there. Also, while I was driving my car today and listening to the Superstation RKFM, I heard DJ Linda propose a question in some contest, and she mentioned a website, I really wanted to answer that question but I couldn't follow her with the website and google did not help either. Monday!

While I was googling though, I found out that many people hated the superstation RKFM and some hated Linda herself... I wonder why is that? I mean, well, to me I'm not a radio fan, and not a fan of Superstation as well, since they play lot of music that just don't meet my mental needs, but I would say such bad things or express my anger in that hideous way all over the blogs! Would I? I hate when they play rock music and rap in the early hours of the morning when people are just waking up and need something soothing to let them smile by early morning while they go to hell... OPS sorry, to work. After all, I see that Linda is doing her best... I don't know her personally, but I think she's funny at sometimes.

I still feel some guilt after leaving the little kitty on the grass jut before the Marina Crescent in front of the seashore facade... the looks in the mother's eyes, that stopped to be available all the time in our yard, were like talking to me and say "where did you take my son?" I hate this feeling, but then I reckon back and convince myself that I would feel worse, if he died in front of me without being able to do anything to protect him.

Ironically and amazingly today amid the busy ups and downs at work, I was sparked with a thought of a poem and I typed it down. I submitted the poem as a contest entry for the Bite-Size contest in www.writing.com. I called it "With The Voice of The Silence" and it is a short dedication to all the deaf friends I knew online so far.

Pain Pain Pain...

Sounds like if my life is a wreck.

The pain in my right ear is increasing. It increased right after using the medicine given to me by the doctor. I feel like if the right side of my face is paralyzed. I guess I need to take more painkillers.

I took the sick kitty right now. I feel sorry for him. I didn't want to see him dying with such bad conditions. No one is helping me in the house to take care of him, and apparently my life is a mess right now and can't get a grip of it. I put him somewhere, near the seashore, just before what they call the "Marina Mall Crescent." I laid him on the grass and put some tuna on a paper dish for him there maybe he would be able to get up again and eat, though I don't see any hope there. I spent like KD30 for the vet to take care of him, but nothing changed. I guess he has a great malfunction or disease. I hated to do it, but I hate more to see him dying in front of my eyes without being able to do anything for him. God, Thy mercy.

I guess I won't be able to go out this weekend at all. I was planning to go back to Failaka in the coming days just to check for more sites, but I guess this is not possible with such pain in my head. My only choice is to relax, completely and not moving at all.

I need to write down a word in my diary...

Twirl...

Working on the sketch of the manuscript still with no idea of what to do or what to put down. I didn't start sketching the object yet, but merely the ornamentations that are to be on the sides. I chose to depict a scene from chapter 3 (The bulughmans), first and second verses. The first verse is supposedly showing the image of Alexander crossing the land of day and night, while the second depicts him meeting the Bulughman nomads. This is the idea for now, and of course I had to add the Ayvarith text, and all should be handwritten. Add to that, I did not start writing down the translation of the last chapter. It is just so exhausting, simply by being at work!

On the other hand, I'm trying to squeeze my brain for more words for poetry. I had a nice period last week of flowing words into my mind. This week seems dull. Some emotional matters are shaky at the moment leaving me in a dilemma of what to do next. This might be reason for the busy mind and the inability to write more poetry.

I picked the little kitty to the vet and kept it there. Hopefully I'm going to get it by tomorrow if possible, and I hope he's going to be OK and walking again. I think I have to build some sort of a house (maybe from a hard-paper box) and keep it cool somehow away from the sun heat, for him and for his mother as well.

Maybe I don't know or understand how animals talk or think, but I could see clearly the sadness on the cat's face for taking away her kitty, specially that she was not around when I picked him up. She doesn't say much in the yard now and mostly outside, probably looking after him. I hope she feels OK when I bring him tomorrow... if everything went alright.

My ears are aching, most probably because of using the headphone at work all the time and listening to the Irish music out loud. I hate to go to the doctor to check for this. Today, I forcefully stopped using the headphones and listening to music at work. I hope it gets OK soon that way, or else, I have to check the doc.

Exhaustion...

Exhaustion. Extreme exhaustion. I try to stay focused on what I'm doing but I can't keep my eyes open. No power to do anything almost.

In the meantime, I'm trying to make my sketch for the manuscript model. It is hard to do any ornamentations. I usually do a lot of line-art when I'm bored in classes or meetings. But here, I try to find ideas to ornament in the center of the page still! I don't know how am I going to do the main drawing.

While this mess goes on, I still get some words inspirations and made two poems. The first, I called it "The Ballroom" while the second one I called "Avenue 51." Avenue 51 was where my old house lied. I recalled some of the memories there and pinned that down.

My little kitty (well, not really mine but I feed him daily) had disappeared suddenly and we don't know where is he yet. I hope he shows up... alive. Last time I found him out of the house on the floor breathing hardly. He drank a huge amount of water compared to his little size. I hope this won't happen again.

As for now, I don't know when to try to translate the 6th part of the story of Alexander. Just looking at this huge amount of papers makes me shiver and change my mood! Lot of things to do, and my mood (and my power) is not helping at all...

65 Pages!!!

Printed out the text file of the last part in the story of Alexander. It costed me 65 A4 pages! Thank God I have printers in my work place! 65, is the number after minimizing the font to 10 or 11 (I don't remember) and making it bold. I had to go around the printers available like if I was checking eggs under hens. Printed out the pages in blue since the black ink was over. Life is hard these days indeed!

Now I have to think of some way to devise some time to this tideous work. Another tideous work awaits for me when Geocities is closed and I don't know yet what to do. I'm busy with my own projects rather than with my own work. Although this busy mind is not taking a rest, either with work-related thoughts or... some other thoughts, I was able to write another poem. I called it "Knocknacarra." Knocknacarra is a town in County Galway, Ireland. Never been these of course but seen some images of it on the web. Like all Irish towns, it is a lovely place by its own right. But for this poem, I like the sound of the name. Knocknacarra (Gaelic: cnoc na cathrach), is pronounced (by me at least) in this manner: kanok-na-carrah. Notice though in the Gaelic version there is a German "CH" sound, while "TH" is considered "H" (T with lenition or aspiration).

No news yet from the Irish embassy or from DHL about my passport. Hope I won't get into troubles more than what I have here. I've been living with no Receiver (satellite dish receiver). My receiver is not catching any signal, and I don't know whether the reason is the wires or the receiver itself. Not in mood to fix it just right now, thus I spend the day with some video tapes I had long ago. I just need something going on in the room to banish the silence.

The little devil staring the camera. First time for him to see such a thing.

The kitty is getting better after the last time I found him out of the house and lying on the ground motionless. I still think his body is weak though, but at least he is moving. I can't really depend on anyone to take care of him or feeding him while I'm away, thus I just start taking care of him directly after coming back from work with no break or rest.

I have now to start sketching something. Drawing and sketching been always a frightening experience for me. I think I have some sort of a phobia for everything related to drawing. But before doing so, I must find a way to clip these 65 pages together!!!

Idle...

Been idle for some days. Trying to take care of the new kitty that was left out from the couple, after the death of the previous one. Feeding him and taking care of plants and spraying water all over the place fo cool down the place in this crazy heat... I'm powerless.

Thoughts race through my mind of how to begin drawing a manuscript-like sketches and color them to be added later on in my photos collection and also to be an aid in my Ayvarith page. Also, I almost forgot that I have to translate the 6th and final part of Alexander's story! The Ayvarith page in Geocities will be removed since Yahoo! will end this service soon, which leaves me like a homeless now! I have to think of another website to build up this free page. Not only that, but also to transfer the files and also maybe make a new template for the webpage. Moving the dictionary alone is a killing pain. Still no news about the exact time of the closure.

Things at work are going smoothly, and I'm waiting for a reply from the Irish embassy about my Visa status. I've been writing some poems, the latest was "If the world is made of gold"and trying hard not to lose the trend of ideas for poems in my mind.

Walking with my camera and taking photos here and there. It helps sometimes to make some ideas for poetry as well.

The little amigo lying on the floor and staring at my camera.

I found him yesterday out of the house for some reason I don't know,

and he was thirsty and hungry and barely could stand up with this crazy heat.

I think today he is better and able to walk again.

Project Alexader, is over...

Finally, and after many upheavals and events, I put an end to the story of Alexander, ending with the 6th part in 3000 lines. It will be a really hard work to translate all of that indeed. It is but time to start a new story about the town of Qafra. Didn't think of a twist though.

I feel a bit of sadness though, since the death of a little kitty that was born in our yard some weeks ago. The two kittens were OK in the beginning but then started to get thinner and thinner. One has passed and I'm trying my best to feed and take care of the second one. I'm trying also to cool down the heat in the yard with this crazy sun in the summer by spraying some water with a manual air-pump. I feel my brain got out of my ears already.

The late kitty, 2 weeks almost before his death

I sent the Visa request via DHL to the Irish embassy in Riyadh, since we don't have one here. It was somehow a complicated matter for me since it is the first time I do all of that. Everything went OK I suppose, and I'm waiting for my DHL to arrive back with my passport. I made booking already for the place I'm going to stay in Ireland, though I was advised not to go in October because the weather is "so" cold there at this time, but I decided to give it a shot. I went to Iran before, this cannot be worse! All what is left for me now is the tickets which I'm still looking after for some good bargain. The Turkish Airways (Türkçe Hava Yolları) seem to be the best bargain so far.

Summer is coming and I hope it will be a quiet one... but surely it's going to be a heated one indeed.

Writing...

Things are going slowly since the last time I made an entry to this blog. Although I made a scan for the Betenic alphabet but I didn't pick up the forms that I would need and settle it down. Writing and writing and writing, this is what I'm doing at the current time as I'm trying to elevate my writing skills to a higher level via involving in www.writing.com.

This is the new born kitty in our yard. Been feeding them for some time now. S/He was so weak and almost lying on the ground without moving much, but things are getting better.
In work, I'm sick of some things but for the time being I got somehow numb... I do not feel a thing. Like, what the heck... why should I work? What am I doing here? After some thought into it, I did discover that my existance isn't really necessary there... all what I need is the money from there. Needless to say the annoying blabbering you always get.
I wrote a new poem and called it Mother Hugs Daughter. The words for this poem were revealed to me when I was looking at a picture of a friend, from US, hugging her daughter. Sometimes, simple things just let you get into a wave of emotions... for no real obvious reason but because it is what it is.
Let's hope I will be able to push things forward as soon as possible. I hate to leave things unfinished, otherwise I'm going to forget everything about it, and forever.