Mental Diaspora…

Some weeks passed without counting them. I had to stop writing in this blog for a while (and the Arabic one too of course) after some drastic downfall in my mother's health; something almost costed her her life. Even though she is in a better condition somewhat but it is far from being the normal-her, as she is mostly bound to bed here at home and I'm trying, with the rest of the family, to take care of her and most importantly of all, to raise her self-esteem and make her smile despite the painful times.
Meanwhile, I was in fact trying to prepare for some photographic experiments which eventually were put on hold after the events, and trying slowly to get back to the pace and even trying to force myself to work on some projects.
I know, though, that some photographers advise against forcing oneself to work with the camera and leave it to inspiration alone, and initially I'm in that line of thought, but circumstances right now require some special measures, and probably forcing myself might take my mind off from the domestic problems that plague my life for the time being.

Let's Cook!

I've attended (and will in the near future) a workshop with members of the group given by the leader of the group which was about the imagination of the photographer and how to develop it. Our main theme for the practical part of the workshop was "kitchen utensils."
The topic of the workshop was, in some sense, forcing your brain to think differently about ordinary subjects (with a side dish of planning beforehand).

Boring Cold
Canon EF 50mm + B+W 920 IR filter,
f/9, 320^-1sec, ISO200.

Before the practical part, I've picked a box of utensils which I didn't really consider what was in it, and thus I had no time to explore or think about what to do until I reached the meeting place. Anyway, the first idea to pop in my mind was to use a friend with 2 ladles as hands and show some boredom, as seen in Boring Cold. To add flavor to this shot specifically, an infrared filter was placed on lens (using my converted camera here and 580EXII speedlite on camera with diffuser). I didn't feel comfortable with this one, and probably my friend here didn't gauge his expression perfectly (trust me, modeling needs skills). I changed to my second idea which was inspired by the Jolly Roger flag (and, let's not talk how I got the inspiration).

Kuwaiti Jack Nickolson
Canon EF 50mm, f/9, 250^-1sec, ISO200.

Using the same converted camera but without any filter on the lens, and also a speedlite here, the Kuwaiti Jack Nickolson was supposedly to be looking like the Jolly Roger, but with the facial expressions here and the hardships in holding the ladles in proper positions, the idea drifted away from that. Anyway, I liked the looks here so I worked for some time on enhancing the sharpness and the colors (specially the eyes and the mouth) to make it look more like a maniac's profile shot! The sharpness here was exaggerated on purpose and it was not done with convenient plugins (e.g. NIK or Noise Ninja), but it was done manually using layers in Photoshop (implementing the High Pass command). After these 2 shots, seeing that I don't work well with faces, I decided to concentrate more on the abstract lane of my thoughts and started playing around with the same ladles to come up with something unusual.

Metallic Lane
Canon EF 100mm macro, f/14, 250^-1sec, ISO200.

I've finally arrived at that idea when I made a contact between the bottoms of the ladles (and it was hard to stabilize the set). Usually in such situations, I automatically switch my mind to think about macro details and look for abstracts and shapes, just like in this situation with Metallic Lane. A twist to the WB was applied to give it that bluish luster instead of the dull metallic one.
Major problem with these experiments is that the ladles were scratched and not polished in a good way, and however I washed them the stains and scratches remained. The practical part of this workshop was not the final deadline to present some work but it was a practice under the guidance of the founder and the teacher of the group, and we agreed to give results one week later which unfortunately passed without doing anything, since I've been busy with my messy life. However, I got new ladles with good polish and worked on them later on, as I will explain later in Rain-Bubbles section below.

Nailed It…

Before the dramatic events with Mom, I was already working on a little project, related to my previous post, The Fakhroid Muse, which is about getting inspired from a song or songs from the Syrian master, Sabah Fakhry (صباح فخري). Might be a good idea to read that blog post if you didn't.
I've been working on this idea, as I've said, before the dramatic events, and even after Mom being out of the hospital, I couldn't put a mind to it and finish it until just recently. I have to say though that I did a lot, a lot, of testing shots. The main problem was that the set was on ground level and I had to find a way to levitate the camera up to a certain level from the set (beside finding the good lens and the good position for speedlites).

Lovely Pain
Voigtländer 20mm, f/4.5, 4000^-1sec, ISO200.

Generally speaking, the idea was inspired from the same song discussed in the Fakhroid Muse post, but a different line:

أثاريك نسيتني مع الأيام
ورضيت تفوتني على الآلام

Just to find you've forgot about me along the days
And you were satisfied to let me through the pains

The second line of this verse is the one that ticked in my mind and decided to implement the idea here. I've spent some time drawing a valentine heart on a cardboard and pinning some nails in it as it can be seen in Lovely Pain. In the beginning, the idea was to use 15mm fisheye lens because its perspective would help on forming the valentine heart more clearly (because of the distortion), but the wide field of view made it problematic to use such a lens, specially with speedlites placed around the set. As it can be seen above, the shutter speed is high, because I wanted to kill the ambient light completely (and of course that requires working in High-Speed mode).
I wanted to work with red food coloring in the beginning too, but apparently that was hard to show on metallic heads and (since I had no model to work with except of myself) it would make a mess for me, thus it was safer to work with red gel filter placed on the main speedlite. One speedlite was actually enough, sort of, but added another one on its side (was planned to light the feet alone), and for this we have here light heads sparkling (and lighter red tone). At the end, I've changed to Voigtländer 20mm lens for it is not as wide as the 15mm fisheye lens. Working with this lens can be tricky somewhat since it is manual completely and I had to re-focus as I adjusted the elevation and the direction of the camera several times (beside changing the spot to be under the focus several times).
The tricky part here is after shooting: on camera's LCD view, everything was alright, but when the file is opened on PC with large monitor, the valentine heart is barely recognizable and would require longer time of concentration to realize that it is a heart. Maybe it was my mistake even to draw it in reverse like that!
I'm still on the lookout for more inspiration and probably from the same song still. I do have some ideas already as I'm typing this, but the vivid glimpse of this idea would require having a model - someone to work with; something I'm not good at, and not available as well for me (of course, unless I pay money for a professional model I believe). I'll keep that for later though.

Rain-Bubbles

As a continuation for the kitchen utensils project which was started with the workshop mentioned in the first section of this post, Let's Cook!, I've tried to work with new ladles I've purchased specially for this project, and they are with good polish (but completely though). Big, small, and some tiny metallic container; I liked how they looked in the store without really thinking what to do with them. It took me some time to wander and to look, and finally got the idea of shooting reflections in some way, since these utensils do look like half spherical mirrors (concave or convex). Anyway, I did reflections, but in some other way. Completely different way!

Qtar 1 (droplets 1)
Canon EF 100mm macro, f/10, 250^-1sec, ISO100.

As for the title of the image above, Qtar, I somewhat miss the Maltese language so I decided to use Maltese to name this series of images. After roaming my mind about, I finally sought hanging the ladle on the edge of a table (using clamp) and putting some drops of corn syrup (as a substitute for glycerine); water won't help much here with its low viscosity. Of course a setting as plain as this seem boring, so we have to add some colors to add life to the abstract, and thus I got colored sticks (like those tongue depressors used by doctors) out of my accessories arsenal, and placed them on the top of the ladle making a small window for the lens to peak into the droplets.

Full setting used with 2 speedlites. As it can be seen, the tripod legs were opened wider to get lower and closer to the ladle. Upon the ladle sit a number of colored sticks. Click to enlarge.

The first problem to encounter is which proper lens to use and I have discovered that sometimes, lot of times, we tend to complicate things instead of going directly to the problem. After trying a lot of lighting methods, and lenses with extension tubes, I reached the decision that I should keep it simple: single lens, no tubes, and even speedlite without any modifiers. The only thing here, as seen in the settings, the speedlites were not pointing directly but almost lighting the edge of the ladle which in turn spread the light all around the droplets.

Qtar 2
Canon EF 100mm macro, f/3.5, 200^-1sec, ISO100.

Qtar 3
Canon EF 100mm macro, f/2.8, 200^-1sec, ISO100.

Qtar 4
Canon EF 100mm macro, f/10, 250^-1sec, ISO100.

As it can be seen here with this series of 4 shots, each change in the aperture (i.e. f-number) or the direction or power of the speedlite can produce interesting results; all that without touching anything in the settings but only changing the parameters in the camera and speedlite. Not to say also, the order of the colored sticks can be changed or the colors themselves (or even use something else other than sticks). Such a simple experiment can have great variety of results and the expectations are limitless!
Probably of the 4 above, Qtar 3 is the most liked one. Processing these images underwent a number of cleaning processes and adding lens blur to remove some of the scratches in the background (except for Qtar 3).

Finale

My mind is scrambled right now after all the dramatic events. Somewhat the world doesn't mean much for me. I don't feel it. But in the middle of all this sway and trying hard to concentrate and to work on something I like, to take my mind off from my personal problems, despite the fact that my work of art would mostly reflect some of the personality side, as in Lovely Pain.
On the other hand, my addiction to games is increasing as well as a way to escape reality (and people), as well as my worries. What does the future hold? Would I be able to see the outside world again? I'm going back to work by next Sunday, just to add more to my mental struggles…

Şaşırmış...

I can't help but say, it is one weird week that has just passed me by. Despite the fact that I've stopped my fasting, in hope to continue by the beginning of the month of Sha`ban, yet I did feel tired excessively with some weak body and dryness most of time - talk about acting as a sponge.
On the other hand I was able to work with my camera just a little bit. I've made up ideas already from brainstorming my mind with the help of some of the websites I've mentioned in the previous blog post, but not all of these ideas are technically available for the time being, or maybe too much time consuming with my hectic schedule in the meantime. Mom is still taking much of my week, and despite some previous talk from the doctors that the dialysis time might be reduced in the near future, I can't see any of that happening soon. With this load, some problems from home are added. They usually call them Domestic Problems but in my case I'd rather call them a Jungle Survival game by keeping my dignity in this house. I've already started picking Mom to and from the dialysis center (before that I used to pick her from there only) because Mom is not happy to go with my sister in the morning in the traffic jam rush. Thus, she decided to go with me from now on in very early hours in the morning to avoid the high blood pressure that my sister causes her on the way to there.

Die geltanische Sprache

I hope you don't mind the German subtitle for this topic here. I'm not a German speaker myself but probably this is how I would write the adjective geltanische if I was German!
However, during this week I didn't put much thoughts on paper with Geltani, but mostly it was some work of thoughts in the mind and having mental notes about some drawings of the characters. In the meantime I'm having problems assigning phonic values for some of the characters. I didn't go through the syllabary system all over again as I've promised myself I would do this week. The major change in the syllabary system is about some characters' drawings and not the phonic values given already.
The language do sound, at the current time, a mix of an Arabic base with an English flavor in terms of general aspects; mainly when it comes to the feminine and masculine cases. However, I do have to work on the phonic values for lot of the combination of characters together and the situation is even more critical when it comes to diphthongs, that is the combinations of 2 vowels, or we might even face cases of more than two!
I'm trying to systemize the combinations of phonetics but I'm not sure yet that this would work. The only thing that would prove the usefulness of such approach is the excessive trial and error, with a pen and paper!

Silhouette

In the past few weeks I was trying hard to take a silhouette shot of my brothers depicting the evening life in a typical weekend here. Yet, despite its simplicity, I had to abandon the idea mainly for the cooperative attitude from the family members (and please note the sarcasm here) and then the unavailability of some suitable background or backdrop to represent the idea of an evening gathering. Majorly, I was trying to use some features in the guests room but this was a bad idea because it did cast a shadow and that complicates the matter further raising the necessity of using two speedlites (or even more) rather than one as I was planning. With more speedlites, then you'd need more light modifiers, and in my case, I don't have plenty of those.

Silhouetted Mother I
Canon EF 50mm, f/11, 250^-1sec, ISO200.

Thus, just to keep up with the idea, I've decided to use Mom as a model! Yes, she's more flexible and the idea is simple enough and doesn't need much acting like I had in my mind when I was planning the silhouette shots with my brothers. It is just a profile or an outline of the head. To do this, I've simply placed Mom in front of a green curtain that's already there, and of course I had to use a green gel on my 580EX II speedlite, otherwise the color would get messed up; adding to that a reflector on the speedlite to spread the light to a larger area with a soft approach.

Silhouetted Mother II
Canon EF 50mm, f/18, 250^-1sec, ISO200.

I've taken here two shots (close up and further away) just in case (and I was thinking somehow in a marketing venue as such images can fit into the stock sites for specific topics). Communicating with my speedlite, however, had to be done remotely without a cable, which means I'm stuck with the sync speed (250^-1

sec). The speed was fine however as the lights in the room were not too strong and not so demanding to be killed out. The only change between the several shots was the aperture and this is how I controlled the intensity of the speedlite reflecting off the curtain. I don't quite remember why I've fixed the ISO to 200, but probably I've forgot it like that from the previous session! The noise level after all is not quite dramatic and was easy to smooth out, specially with such style of images not having so many colors.

Freeze Me!

Few days later after doing the silhouette shots of Mom, I headed to do another shot that I've been thinking of for some time and trust me if I say, I had to force myself and my mood to do so! The sole subject of this experiment was a glass vase brought to me as part of a bouquet by the group when Mom was still in the hospital back in March.

Pouring Down
Tamron 70-300mm @92mm,
f/16, 5000^-1sec,
ISO1000.

I have to say that the vase is really seductive for many experiment, but the preparations to do such experiments is really exhaustive to myself, specially when preparing the props. The fact that my older sister wanted this vase too, made me do something, anything, just before the vase is taken away!
I've placed the vase on a table which has a glass surface in the center and placed my 430EXII speedlite below the glass. In typical situation I would actually place the speedlite light on the sides but I just wanted to do this experiment here, specially with the hardships involved because light is refracted through the glass table before reaching the subject. I've placed a white screen as a backdrop and in the beginning I've placed 2 black boards on the side (to emphasize the edges of the glass in a bright scene), but then however I've realized they are not necessary.
If you see the info in Pouring Down, you can see that I've used a telephoto lens (Tamron) while the shutter speed is 5000^-1sec; quite faster than the sync speed. Thus, a cable is required to control the speedlite but with a telephoto lens, I need some distance away from the vase. In this case, I've used the Vello cable I have (which extends only 2 meters, hardly) and connected it to the 580EXII to control the 430EXII and enable me to use high shutter speeds above the sync speed. This is in case you were wondering why I did use 430EXII under the table in the first place and not the 580EXII. In the beginning, the master speedlite (580EXII) was turned off and it was set to control the 430EXII only, but then I've decided to turn it out and help me with the front little bit. It did make a little enhancement though and probably not a big deal, but I've kept it on.

There were many shots to test the light first and settle down with a certain type of lighting. I've made some light patterns because of the refraction that would look nice otherwise, except that I needed a plain background in this situation. After all is set, I added some dishes soap inside (you would think it's beer!) and set up the motion trigger. This is my first time to use the motion trigger. I have to say here that it is bulky and not quite the easy-to-handle thing. The motion sensor (with a long cable from the trigger body to the vase) was not easy to be placed to track the motion of water that I was going to pour down. How ironic it was when it triggers my body movement when I was going to the vase, but as I move my hand to pour down the water into the vase the trigger, sometimes, wouldn't respond. After some trial and error, I've finally made something right.

One of the failed trials at 1000^-1sec.
Notice the movement blur.
Click to enlarge.

You might think about the high ISO here? Well, as I was trying to pour water down I did capture some amazing water texture and movement, but unfortunately, most of them were blurry. I've realized then that 1000^-1sec shutter speed was not enough, and/or the depth of field is not deep enough. For this reason, I've poured down the water out of the vase (which was full after some trials) and filled it again with soap, and then worked again on fixing the light and this time with 2500^-1sec shutter speed, but I've changed my mind quickly and made it 5000^-1sec to ensure the freeze in motion. If I have more speedlites, I might as well have gone further than that speed! However, because of this change in aperture and shutter speed, I've realized that I must raise the ISO as well. The subject is here is not complicated and I thought that cleaning the noise in post-processing won't be such a hard task to do (specially that the experiment took a place in a cold environment and excessive chromatic sensor noise is unlikely).

Thoughts

After my experiment with the glass vase in Pouring Down, I think I've realized why I used to run away from using flashes or studio equipments in general and loved the free life of an architecture photographer, along side with doing abstracts and landscapes. Setting up a specific set, be it a tabletop or some studio is really an exhaustive process for me and by the time I sit behind the camera I think most of my power is gone already. More over, the fact that in architecture or landscape I deal usually with a light that is already there and all I have to do is control how it looks to my camera - this is quite easily done compared to the completely controlled environments of tabletop photography or studios in general where you have to imagine everything almost and do a lot of test shots before doing the actual work.
There is probably another problem that I have to put up with, but this time it is all inside my mind. This problem revolves around the processes in my mind and how my mind works in general when it comes to space orientation and organization. I'm not sure if this is a serious problem or not, or if it is somehow linked to a psychological problems as well or not, but I do have hard time setting up some configuration from scratch without having any clue about where to begin. Suppose you provide me with an empty room and some pieces of furniture and just ask me to arrange it for you freely - this is something that would be so hard to do from my side because I, simply, can't recognize what freely means in this context. I have to start up with something to build on my hypothesis of the space and how it should be arranged; say for example, how the sun rays get into the room from the window, if there is any, and how I would imagine some furniture pieces against such rays and then try to imagine a specific purpose or relation between the sun rays and the furniture pieces, and then and only then, my mind would start to arrange the objects.
Now, I reflect on such thoughts and how my processing goes with my photography projects and workflow. It seems it is pretty much the same, specially when it comes to tabletop and studio environments. I just can't make up my mind out of a free point in the space. Working with architecture is much easier when all I have to do is frame a previously configured set rather than do the whole thing by myself!

Finale

Source: Amazon

I'm still on reading my Lens Design book which far way too complicated than I thought and it is probably not so practical if I keep reading this without a practical trials or at least some visual aids to help me understand the mathematical formulations inside the book which describe many aspects about the lens (mainly the errors and aberrations aspects).
In the meantime, I've been active for a while on Instagram with all its hassle, but I'm lurking trying to catch photos of people (ahem, females) to edit. I didn't do such activities in a really long time now. Some people might thing that photoshopping or editing the photos is some kind of cheating, specially when it involves fixes. Well, I deal with art. Not all my edits are fixes in fact. Lot of them are simply artistic retouch and somehow a sway from reality at times. I feel the need to do such edits just because it endows my eyes with some beauty that I've been missing for a long time around me. One of the problems though in editing such images is that most of them are taken with phone camera (naturally) and the nature of the color space and the noise level is very questionable and vary significantly. I've seen great faces and great poses, with great facial features (mainly the eyes, I'm fond of those) but unfortunately, the low quality disturbs most of those, second comes the background or the nature of the light in the scene.
There are some ideas of ordering some new toys, but not sure what they will be exactly, but I'm still consulting my budget about this matter. Probably more details in next week's post, hopefully!

Strangely, I've been lately moved around following some foreign music, from Greek, to Uyghur, to Turkish and it keeps on rolling! I think I'm compensating for my inability to have a vacation and travel by listening to foreign music and dream; daydream, that is. Just like how it was in the old days when I was a kid, when my family used to visit only specific places, while I kept dreaming of the big world and couldn't see some of it until I reached 29 years old.
I'm living day to day, without really knowing what will happen the next day or what are my plans. Pressing hard to work my mind on photography projects yet the efforts are humble so far. Makes me ask myself more often, do people still got portions of their feelings, and does anyone out there who would really feel what burden I carry on my shoulders. Most likely, the answer is well-known and no need to state it. Einsamkeit ist ein Killer. Aber mit jemandem nicht versteht zu sein, das ist ein ewiger Folter.

Tatiana

 

Xiŋwiñzaji!

A somehow idle week with iterative sleeping problems. Not sure though if the sleeping problems are related to my back and legs muscles pain, or are they related to my busy mind. Because of this, my activities were minimal and I didn't even head to work for some days (also because some painting job in my office). Yet, I was working on some ideas while in the meantime uploading more photos to some new stock sites which, unfortunately, seems not doing any good.

Glossa

I didn't work much on Geltani conlang this week and I doubt I would do much as well because of all these time-consuming "problems". However, I've done some trials to solve one problem that was buzzing my mind for a while, which is the ambiguous formation of words from Arabic into Geltani in which the short vowels are different but the main consonants are the same. Just to give out an example:

laħam [لَحَم]: (he) welded

laħm [لحْم]: meat

luħim [لُحِم]: welded (passive)

In Arabic, there are many examples of this kind. In one of my previous posts I gave out a similar example with the root [M-L-K], which is related to ownership and ruling.

However, since I've been making trials with verbs for some time right now and decided to derive verbs from nouns (mainly because nouns would vary significantly in their consonants), which solves the problem partially, I've decided now to derive nouns of professions and titles in a similar manner as I decided to do with verbs. Thus, The word for king would be derived from the noun kingdom. Just to show:

Kingdom

King

Kingdom: Xiŋwiñz'

King: Xiŋwiñzaji

"X" as "CH" in Loch,  "ŋ" as "ng" in English, "ñ" as a nasalized vowel, and " ' " as a schwa.

Of course this transliteration and vocal system is still not finished but let's call it a demo. I'm not sure if I'm happy with the "-ji" suffix because it sounds too Japanese and I'm trying to put something on the same line but would better sound differently. However, I'm not going to put much thought on this issue for the time being, as if I didn't find another suitable substitute then I'm going to accept it as it is. Notice that I've added a vowel "a" before "-ji" to merge it into the word, this is because "Z" has a schwa and not into a syllable itself. 

I've made up a special character for this characteristic syllable (or maybe I should call it the profession syllable), but a critical question come to my mind amid all of these fuss: what about the Queen?

In Geltani, unlike in Ayvarith, I've tried to strip the gender bases in formulating the words, but as time progresses, I find myself creating words for He and She or words for His and Her. It seems to me that however I try to step away from this issue it just pulls me back in and there is no escape but to create a special grammatical entity based on genders. This said, I might be inventing a special character for the profession in a feminine form (like in Queen), and probably the suffix would be simply "-jin". This is just the beginning but I'm willing to think it through and see if there is something around this problem. Another problem that is already prevalent somehow is the fact that with such method of deriving from nouns, the writing and pronunciation processes might be longer than normal. 

I might be the first to invent nounal verbs instead of verbal nouns? And then, what about adjectives? For the time being, I'm taking adjectives as they are, i.e. transform them directly from Arabic (in masculine form) without referring back to any idea about derivation from verbs or nouns. Might be a bit illogical in the context of the process, but hey, it's a language after all!

Smokes

I've been planning to take some pictures of smokes for a while since the time I've seen this lovely censer among Mom's possessions. It wasn't until last week though that I've finally began to do some experiments with this subject, and I've hardly done it.

Censer I
Tamron 70-300mm @124mm,
f/13, 250^-1sec,
ISO125.

There is a funny story about these images but I'm going to tell that in the next section of this post. When I decided to work with this censer, I've taken around 30 minutes or maybe more just trying to adjust (and search) for everything. It was late at night in the weekend which is the perfect time to work peacefully with no kids at home. In the beginning I had to take several test shots using only my 580EXII speedlite with a correcting gel (to balance the flash color temperature with the tungsten light in the room) affixed with a reflector and a panel for turning the reflector into a softbox - nice stuff from Expoimaging Rogue lighting kit.
I kept some white boards at hand and it proved very critical for some minute details, as I've used it to pour some light on the dark areas (and the dark areas would change with any slight change in the speedlite's orientation). 

Censer X
Tamron 70-300mm @124mm,
f/18, 250^-1sec,
ISO125.

The next hard part was to fix my other speedlite, 430EXII, to light smoke that comes out of the censer. I've used a spotlight setting (with honeycomb grids) to direct the light and make it spread as less as possible to other parts of the censer - but this specific detail was changed several times to see which setting was the best. Burning incense sticks was not successful enough, thus I had to resort to a more robust solution: burning tissues (Kleenex). With burning tissues, I had more smoke and could test my 430EXII and see if it is really working with the smoke. I put two gels on 430EXII just for fun and see the results. However, the result was like a mix of the two colors; naturally!

Censer XV
Tamron 70-300mm @300mm,
f/14, 250^-1sec,
ISO125.

After taking some shots for the whole body of the censer, I've decided to go deeper and get a closer look (since I'm using Tamron 70-300mm already and no need to move the tripod). The final result for the whole experiment was something close to100 shots, but after filtration and picking those special ones, with specific move in the smoke, a total of 21 images are left out. There was some editing in Photoshop as well to enhance the saturation and to darken the background completely, as the background I've used was not completely dark and it did reflect some light (probably from the room's spotlight rather than the speedlites), beside some unexpected additions to the scene that I didn't notice during the shooting session! I wanted to increase the shutter speed beyond 250^-1sec, which requires using High-Speed settings, to kill the ambient light completely (and darken the background even more) but unfortunately because of using the wireless function to control the speedlites I was not able to achieve this. This can be done with a cable or cord only (and some specific wireless controller or radio transfer probably). Such situations make me more eager to get a long soft cable rather than the helix-like cord that I have already (which hardly extends for more than 2 meters, i.e. around 6.6 ft). I made a mistake here though for not creating a sweep as a backdrop and I've simply placed a black board behind the censer, but checking the limits of the space itself, I think creating a sweep was also out of hand.

Jokes in Stocks

I've stated in my previous post that I'm looking forward to upload some of my images into other stock sites and try to increase the exposure. However, I'm quite aware of the fact that I'm not a commercial photographer and I don't deal much with tabletop photography, so far. Thus, my mission in this regard is not an easy one. Stock sites are not like fine art dealers nor like beauty lovers; they want something practical for usage in designs and ads. Nevertheless, some of their methods and ways in sorting out images are still funny to mention. I've realized that I've created a login in some of these websites long time ago and it was just a re-discovery from my side. Probably I know now why I didn't like the idea of uploading to them in the first place.
Dreamstime: In the beginning, they rejected most of my images and accepted only 2 (out of 10 or 20?). Now, I'm back again uploading to them. I've started to upload almost with the beginning of this week (including the 21 images of the censer) and so far, till the time of writing this blog post, no updates about the rejection status. Yes. I'm not that optimistic about accepting these files.

Depositphotos: This website has really good humor. My account was actually a buyer's account and I had to contact them to switch the login to a contributor. To be able to upload you need to fill in the tax form, and then upload 5 images as an examination to be able to upload to the website. All of my five images were rejected BUT hey! my tax form completion was done successfully! You can't imagine how happy I am. One more happy news here is that I can't put images for examination again till the passage of 10 days from the first examination.

123RF: All what I can say here is, stay away from this website. If Depositphotos rejected 5 photos from the examination sample, this website rejected 30 out of 33 images I've submitted, including ALL of the 21 images of the censer. You see, I'm not expecting all of the images of the censer specifically to be good - after all, the reason I've made several shots is to make different shapes of the smoke and also different zoom levels. For example, Canstockphotos did already rejected 11 and accepted 10 out of 21. When I checked closely, I've realized that reviewers on Canstockphotos did accept mainly images of the censer as a whole and rejected images of the censer in close-up. Here with 123RF, the whole set was rejected under the reason of "Poor lighting/Composition". OK, I understand the fact that I'm not a good photographer, but what kind of composition you are expecting for an isolate object in a tabletop photography? Or what kind of light you are expecting when I state in the file description Golden Censer lit partially? If they stated the reason as "Not marketable" I would quite understand that, but poor lighting and/or composition? That just doesn't add up. From some info bits in their website, I think the website is based in Dubai, and that thing specifically made me more optimistic about submitting to them but now, the whole game rules have changed.

FeaturePics: This is one agency that I do have some hopes for. They did reject some of my images and they did accept some others. One thing I don't understand here is the fact that I have to have 10 accepted images to be able to upload via FTP; my favorite method. So far, I didn't upload my censer images set onto this agency because I do prefer FTP for such large quantity of files. One thing I don't like here is the change in my images titles but to be fair, they did explain that already in their uploading tips, as they see poetic titles are not a good way for marketing and makes it hard for search engines to find the image, i.e. such titles would lessen the exposure to the public. They got a point somehow, even though I think in search engines routines it is usually the keywords that play the key role and not the title.

I'm still looking further but I can't get into any stock website I see. Canstockphotos and Mostphotos seem to be my dominant admirers for the time being.

Finale

There remains some experiments to be done yet but I didn't have the time this week, mainly because I need a model, and my model is, usually, my brother. Even though I did some tests and the results were fine so far, but I do need a good background.
I've notified the group about my inability to enroll in Redbull's contest and they expressed their disappointment. What's significant in their response is their reply: our participation is weak and we will disappoint them. When I asked about who was the initiator for such offer, turned out that the group was and Redbull's team didn't come to the group to ask for participation. I've blamed them (gently) for not checking on the preparations and the readiness of the group's members before involving the name of the group in such contest - specially that my own circumstances with my mother are well known and it is natural that I wouldn't have the full capabilities and time. Their response in fact, to some extent, did prove my point that they did have some heavy dependence on my shoulders which I didn't meet.
For the time being, it seems all I can do is concentrate more on tabletop photography and try to find new subjects to photograph with a twist. Probably this will have some marketable value as well. And they say don't carry the globe's load on your shoulders - how that is even possible?

Sorry...

Another week without much productivity I'm afraid. I didn't have any guts to touch the camera. I thought when Mom is back home things would be calmer a bit but in fact they are still busy almost to the same rhythm but in another timing, since Mom got dialysis to do 3 days a week and we have to pick her to and from the dialysis center. Moreover, we are doing a regular check up and checking updates with her doctors behind her back - she doesn't know much about the situation, but we are working on it and we get highs and downs from the doctors. Good thing that she is moving more often, and her spirit is getting back slowly and she started to get into the kitchen slowly! I think I can call this good news.

Because of this mental stress and continuous thinking about her condition, my mind is lacking of ideas for photography (specially with my new Ubertronix trigger that I got a month ago almost), and also little plans and thought about what to do next with my conlangs projects. Completing the Geltani is of course a must, but I was thinking also of studying Ayvarith back again to refresh my memory about the words I've made already. In hope this would make me a more fluent speaker of my own conlang! I think it might help me as well to make a stronger sense of the language as to make some words even without referring back to the basic ingredients: Arabic, Aramaic, and Hebrew.

Beside all of this mess, there is the real or the physical mess that is in my room and around the house that I've set my mind to organize and fix, yet I can't do this for the time being with this exhaustion and busy mind and body. All what I can do for now is to hope for some productivity by next week. As for the time being, I'm going to read a bit more about mathematics and geometry...

Grace...

Mom is finally back home right now, but that doesn't mean the end of the story. In fact, I think the struggle had just began now to elevate her spirit and make her cope what life throws at her, specially with boring hours of dialysis.
We are hoping now that the dialysis process is a temporary procedure until Creatinine is reduced to some level. All we can do for now is to pray for her and, of course, be on her side as much as possible. The other challenge from our side is to cope with life's schedules and rush with an added responsibility like this. We've been managing for the past 3 weeks by having leaving from work and changing shifts among family members, but at a certain point, I believe Mom has to be alone at home, probably with the maid only to help her out.

One of the greatest challenges for me right now is to try and work on with my camera after being mostly idle in the past weeks. Not completely idle, but I was aiming at various things without thinking just to try out my camera and not stop using it. Mainly I was aiming at geometrical shapes in flowers, specially those sent to Mom in the hospital. I won't bother you with the technical details here, but most of the images here were taken with 50mm lens plus some extension tube(s) beside using one or two speedlites (580EXII and 430EXII).

Blooming Alone

Sanfte Aufbau

Zentrum Aufbau

The Dark Side of Beauty

Introvert Petals

Lumini

Vortex

Floral Fractal

Mother's Heart

Die Sanfte Ringe

New Toys:

With the rush of the events lately I've ordered some new toys for my camera that I've barely touched or experienced something with. I hope in the coming days I will do this accordingly.

Source: B&H

One of the simplest "toys" here is a step down ring which is aimed at fitting filters on lenses with different diameters. My ring here is a step down from 62mm to 58mm (62-58mm) which I got specifically for my Tamron lens (70-300mm). Most of the lenses that I'm using have a diameter of 58mm and hence most of my filters (polarizer and IR for example) are ordered accordingly to this diameter. In order to make these filters somehow complete and fit all, this step down ring can do the job. The only problem here is that it sometimes gets stuck in between or stuck into the filter read itself. Typical problem (and I'm planning to get special wrenches to detach filters from lenses).

Source: B&H

The other toy is an eyepiece from Polaroid which acts as an extension at a right angle. It is supposed to be quite useful for shooting at waist level but I didn't test it for long. One of the hardships in this piece is how to fit it into my camera. It comes with plenty of adapters for various cameras (specially EOS cameras) but unfortunately, there is no direct adapter for EOS 7D camera and I had to make several tests. I could hardly fit one of the adapters into my 7D and I'm not sure it is quite useful for shooting at waist level but probably more useful to shoot on sides (i.e. to be on the side of the camera and look into the eyepiece). I will leave this for time to sort out its benefits.

Source: B&H

Maybe the most important toy for me right now (and didn't try it yet!) is the Ubertronix Strike Finder trigger. Some years back I got a cumbersome circuit to trigger the flashes by sound (and needed the PC cable to connect it to the flash but never got this cable). This trigger now is all-in-one type: sound, motion, laser and lightning. The difference here though is the fact that it is a camera trigger (and it comes with N3 cable to be connected in the place of the cable remote into the camera). Without trying it all seems good, but with one thing: the short cables and sensors. I want to try this as soon as possible but yet I didn't formulate any ideas on how to do so. The trigger box contains a jack port saying "flash/camera" thus I do believe I can connect it to flashes (speedlites) by special cables too and it's not limited to cameras only. Among other models, this brand was the only one probably to support Canon EOS 7D. In a twist of options, it has the Laser gate, i.e. triggering the camera with the change in Laser reception as I understand it while other brands depend on infrared gate which triggers the camera only when an object crosses in between a transmitter and a receptor. I'm not sure though how I'm going to use the trigger for Laser but according to the instructions it works as well for infrared just that way, as well as for lightning photography. Too bad the lightning season is over right now!

Thoughts:

In the passing weeks, with Mom's sickness and up till this moment, I had some weird urge in geometrical wisdom and started to read whatever comes my way from Wikipedia; specially the schläfli symbol. There were many stuff that were complicated of course and my mind couldn't digest but reading about simple stuff could spark some imagination. Reading about mathematics and geometry can never be in vain - it is up to you of course!
I'm trying in the meantime to look at the problem with Mom's health as a test for something; probably to change my attitude toward the world, probably to test my capabilities of challenging the world with increasing responsibilities and yet keeping up with my own projects and photography. Mom cared for us as a mother would do, and her memories still race in my mind at the moment; memories of some time when I was 10 years old or less and how she used to dress me for school. Despite the health problem is upon her, but it is our test, her children. Probably God wants to see how we do care for her and I'm lying my hope in succeeding in this test. After all, I arrived to the realization of the fact that at some time, at some moment in time, there should be that point of departure between her and me as it is the case always with every living thing. My only prayers go to make this point in time just far away; far enough in time to make me stronger to bear it. I've realized as well the fact that just wishing to depart life before her so I wouldn't have to see her leave me alone in this world is a mere selfish thought. Mothers can't bear the departure of their kids from her sight - it is me who has to bear it all instead...

I Miss You...

Mother's Heart

Mom, after two weeks or more, still in the hospital. I'm barely thinking of anything else other than herself. I even got new toys for my camera but I'm putting all that behind my back now. I get into her room in the hospital with a smiling face, and get out with a crying eye. Despite the fact that her lungs infection and water is all out and she can breath easily and normally without any difficulty, yet blood tests show increasing amounts of Creatinine in her blood and it won't go down. On Thursday, April 4th, doctors decided to make a surgery to fix a tube under her skin in the chest for future dialysis processes.
Mom is annoyed, and I'm worried. Dialysis processes can leave kidneys weak (just like how a muscle shrinks without training). I'm so sick of home without her.

Love you, Mama...

Hard times seem to be waiting for me wherever I go, in whatever I do. With all the stress I've been trying to push back, here comes Mom falling sick in a serious condition.
I'm typing this early now as I don't think I won't be posting anything next week. My mind is occupied with thoughts and memories of Mom right now. The only valuable reason for my existence in this life, till now.

Beg you all, you who read this, for prayers for Mom's health sake.

Amen

Where is my bed... ?

Apparently for the amazing sleeping system I'm following, I can barely cope with the last 3 hours of my work time. It is the second day now and my colleagues did not show up because of various reasons (or mainly sickness?). It is quiet and I like it that way.
In the mean time I'm working on a model for our coming brochure, and it is supposedly to be on a size of 3-fold A4. My boss sounded happy about it. The hard task though now is to provide an Arabic translation and to fill some white spaces.
I brought my book today with me to read a bit, but it is hard with such heavy eyes. I finished the Panoramic Photography book already, and now I've started to read the last of the three books: The HDRI Handbook. I discovered later on that there is a book for "practical" HDR photography from the same publisher, which might be my next target to purchase.
I have no more pictures at the recent time, and I'm going around the house trying to do some fixing issues here and there and that makes me awake all the afternoon and so tired at night, but yet I can't seem to sleep earlier (specially now with some projects to do about the brochure and mom's picture!). It is so boring though without my camera around to look at at least! Let's hope it goes well with the cleaning process. My friend told me that they would not be responsible for any damage in the sensor!


The translation process for today went on easily somehow though long, since I had to work here and there in the work place. The result was 2 verses as usual, reaching line #2328. It would be nice though to finish with this with the end of the year, but of course this is impossible!
I had plans to go to the movies today, but unfortunately my friend can't do it for today. It is one of the rare occasions that I do really want to go to the movies. I barely watch TV at home! Ah well, a change is needed sometimes...

Where is Canon...!

Today I've been roaming Al-Rai area looking for the service center of Canon. As I said before in a previous post, my sensor needs cleaning. According to my friend's description, the way sounded easy... or so I thought. However, after running here and there and asking many people and everyone got a GPS of their own in their minds that works according to some satellites around Venus or Jupiter but not Earth, I was able to find the service center. The big bang that was waiting for me was, 5 days needed to clean the sensor! I was like what the hell!!! Anyway, I have no choice. Let's wait and in this time, I will try to spend my time playing games, doing photos already taken, and work on the family memories photos! Ah! And just remembered now, I have to do some repairing issues for mom...
Please, shoot me...


One of the images that I forgot about completely yesterday was a panorama of the class room in my work place, and I was working with it in a hurry (amid memory problems in my PC or what it seemed some scripting errors);

The image had lot, lot, lot of errors. However, I guess it is all related to the parallax point. Now, I think I have to spend some time over the net to see if there is a solution (cheap one) away from buying a professional VR head (VR: Virtual Reality). VR heads on a slight check up from some websites might cost way more than $700! No way to buy one, for the time being at least. The parallax error is not a problem when it is done for a field of sight far away from the camera, but it is recommended even in such situations because usually such heads got scales to measure the angles and elevation of the camera, thus it would prevent taking an excess of images unnecessarily in hope to overlap some features in between the images. I believe one of the fewest panoramas that I did, which did not have such problem of parallax (I didn't notice any mistakes till now!) was the field of Aughnanure Castle from Ireland!



Maybe the parallax error would be minimized to some extent if I spent more time with the stitching program and put my own control points? I don't know yet! In fact, with the new knowledge of some of these softwares, I'm reviving my hopes of some old pictures that I took some time ago for the dome of one of the building from the inside, and I'm hoping to make some magnificent advanced leap with this picture. However, I also think that I should snap this dome again with a different technique with my simple tripod. Hope I won't have any troubles till then, because the first shots were made in summer, and it was a quiet time then, but now, it is somehow an active time. I guess I need to be around in the early morning... in the very early morning!


Looking at my work place now, seems everyone had left and left me alone! Who cares anyway! Feels like a free bird!
The yield for today was 2 verses as usual. Amid my struggle with Al-Rai and going around my work place alone to check the samples, surely this gives me no time to write more, and 2 verses is a way forward push for today. I managed to go around many expressions today in order to get 2 verses done and also got lot of sitbacks because of some mixing in words... I feel my brain tied.


I bought a new frame today, hoping to work out an old photo of mom with photoshop then print it out and frame it, as a little gift for a lovely mother...

Writing...

Things are going slowly since the last time I made an entry to this blog. Although I made a scan for the Betenic alphabet but I didn't pick up the forms that I would need and settle it down. Writing and writing and writing, this is what I'm doing at the current time as I'm trying to elevate my writing skills to a higher level via involving in www.writing.com.

This is the new born kitty in our yard. Been feeding them for some time now. S/He was so weak and almost lying on the ground without moving much, but things are getting better.
In work, I'm sick of some things but for the time being I got somehow numb... I do not feel a thing. Like, what the heck... why should I work? What am I doing here? After some thought into it, I did discover that my existance isn't really necessary there... all what I need is the money from there. Needless to say the annoying blabbering you always get.
I wrote a new poem and called it Mother Hugs Daughter. The words for this poem were revealed to me when I was looking at a picture of a friend, from US, hugging her daughter. Sometimes, simple things just let you get into a wave of emotions... for no real obvious reason but because it is what it is.
Let's hope I will be able to push things forward as soon as possible. I hate to leave things unfinished, otherwise I'm going to forget everything about it, and forever.