Peel!

Long and boring technical post. Read at your own risk!

As of writing these words I'm still struggling with my car's AC problem. It works fine one time and not working again; just like that on and off. 

In the meantime, I got some time to do some ideas with my camera back home, and in this post, I'm dedicating my efforts to an old idea that I've long abandoned, for some time, for the sake of other ideas. I've tried to do it before with some specific approach so to say but now it is completely a new door that I'm peeking through!

Peeling Hope!

After many many trials done in very long time ago to do such an effect, I've came about to some kind of a breakthrough; yet it needs more work to be done, I have to say.
The thing I'm talking about here is what I call the Peeing Effect or maybe some people refer to it as the Reverse Panorama or Internal Panorama. The idea is simple: instead of doing a panorama of the space around you, do it in perspective to one object.
The idea is not new in fact. It is used extensively in many websites (specially retailers) to offer a complete view of the object at hand, where the user can click and drag to rotate the object virtually. This is also called Object VR (for Virtual Reality). But my story, somehow related, yet completely different!
What I wanted to do long time ago is to provide a flat 2D view of a 3D object without the need for rendering into a 3D environment with some interaction from the user. A simple image that tells it all. This is all what I wanted to do!
I have to say though, I did indeed try to do an Object VR before using PTGui but I didn't go deeper into that (since I've realized that there is a special type of software to deal with this render) but what got me more interested is the artistic touch of flattening a 3D object; just like planet Earth flattened by Mercator!
My very early trials did involve PTGui but they also failed, and I've done the effect manually using layers in Photoshop. However, now with some change in wisdom and the amount of knowledge I received from previous experiences in (regular) panoramas, I wanted to try it all over again (and for weeks, but only now I got the time!) with PTGui.

Peeling a seashell, done manually by stacking layers in Photoshop (2011).

 With such trials, one thing is for sure: The more mistakes you make, the better you get! As simple as that. For the time being, my simple target was one of my favorite mugs at home! Yep, I had this one (and it has a twin!) since I was 17 probably... or 16... some time before 18, I'm sure!
The first thought about capturing this with a smooth movement is to fix the rotating table in 5^o segments. Of course this is done with the help of the base of my Manfrotto 303SPH VR-head. Up till that moment, I really had no idea of how am I going to connect images together using PTGui to make out one long connected peeled mug! I just had to do it. Total images: 360^o/5^o is 72 images. No HDR intended here but simple RAW files.

Manfrotto's rotating base with improvised disk fixed on top by velcro. Pardon the lousy quality. The image was taken in a haste and not by artistic means!

 As I uploaded my first trial, I was searching the web for some tips, but most of the tips are dedicated to Object VR and not for what I'm trying to do here: a peeling effect! However, the idea stroke me like a bullet when I was reading an online book sample (an old book as it seems) about panoramas and tips about camera types and what methods are appropriate in each case (unfortunately, I can't remember the book's name now, it seemed good!). Within the context, there was a discussion about Slit Cameras (also called scanning cameras I think) in which the shutters of such camera do actually move over the sensor providing a thin band of light covering a portion of the sensor, and this band eventually sweeps through the entire sensor (not sure in which direction though no difference I guess!). The word Slit here inspired me to do the same: what if PTGui only picks the control points from a specific region in which movement is recorded? That would be like a reverse scanning! The proper tool to do this is the Crop tab inside PTGui. The Crop tab is dedicated, originally, for those images in which you don't like to include some portions of the scene to be implemented in generating control points for the whole panorama - the exact thing you want to do when dealing with lower level shots showing your tripod's legs and portions of the VR-head (like the bulky Manfrotto 303SPH). It is like, literally, telling PTGui, please be blind in regard of all these regions and just look at this; a technical retinitis pigmentosa.
However, in my first trial, the mistakes were apparent: so much tilt in shots and such a disturbing background. Probably the background won't do much disturbing because of the slit I'm trying to implement, but the tilt can be a problem indeed for the overall image look. Add to the problems is the uneven light around the mug which changes on the surface of the mug while rotating. The critical question, however, was: of what portion should I take the slit? In other words, what should I crop in PTGui? Naturally, the answer would be: the middle portion of the mug. However, this approach still as so much thoughts going on in my head.

Example shot from the first trial. Notice the uneven light across the surface and the tilt, and of course, the disturbing background. I've tried to isolate it as much as possible with shallow depth (low f-number), yet I had to increase it and consequently, sharpened the background more.

Since the rotating base moves in segments of 5^o, I thought first that putting the crop lines for +/- 5^o around the middle point of frame would suffice. Anyway, more troubles came about. First, PTGui deals with pixels, not degrees! How many pixels are equal to 5^o? The answer was not so obvious in the beginning but it was just in front of me and I didn't see it, until the second trial was done! The answer was simply to find out the movement of the edge of the handle (or any point) from one side to the other (that is for 180^o) and voila! You got the equation: 1^o=ΔP_x/180^o; where ΔP_x is the difference in pixels for the relative location of any point on the mug (I've taken the handle of the mug to check for this) from one side to the other exactly opposite to it. Care must be taken here because pixels are not divisible; pixels must be an integer number! Thus whenever fractions appear (and they will appear of course) it is the approximation that shall be taken.

The width of the rotation in pixels as I've measured it. Measuring in the Crop facility inside PTGui can be better and more accurate rather than Photoshop. Also, it keeps the work all in one place instead of running 2 programs.

In the beginning, I've based my calculations for the crop on the central point of the frame as a whole (i.e. the middle point of the frame which lies at pixel #2592 width-wise of course), but with my second trial to shoot the mug, I've changed this approach (mainly because it was hard to situate the mug exactly in the center of the rotation), and I've decided later to take the edges of the mug (not including the handle) and find the middle point between these two edges and increase the crop to the left and right of that middle point.

(1) The width on which I based the central crop in my first trials. (2) The width I've used later to specify the central crop.

Originally, +/- 5^o was not quite a sufficient quantity because it is so small that PTGui can not find matching points between one slide and the next, thus I've increased the crop to +/- 10^o, 15^o, 20^o. I think it did work smoothly up to +/- 30^o, but the more you widen the crop, the messy PTGui gets. This is natural because we have a curvy surface that rotates and that means distorted features from one shot to the other, thus making the alignment of the slides a hard task to do and frequently, no good results at the end. So, after all, we have to keep it minimum and sufficient to include details from one slide to the other (but of course this depends on what you are scanning with this method). In many occasions there were hard times with regular panoramas when I had to, ironically, take the seat of the computer and place control points to aid the computer on aligning images. However, in the case here with the peeling effect the matter goes to the extreme somehow with zooming in and trying to find some common features between 2 slides however possible, even if it takes you to the pixels level!

Down to the second trial after few achievements with the first trial with that lousy background and annoying light levels. This time, I've placed the set in front of a plain wall, and using the lateral arm, I've raised the speedlite (with a reflector and a diffuser on) on the top of the set to illuminate the mug and reduce shadows on its side. It is at this moment only that I've realized I can fix the lateral arm with a 1/4" thread instead of the typical 3/4"! With 3/4" I would have to place it on the monopod which, of course, is not a stable fixture, but here I've used the lateral arm with a regular tripod in a 1/4" thread, which was more stable, not completely!

Source: B&H

The next surprise was still waiting for me though! My savior is now indeed my savior! The 33' Vello cable did work as if by magic! I could access the menu of the speedlite from the camera's body and even work in High-Speed mode. I'm not sure what went wrong in the first trials, but now it is working. I was going to work manually already and I was ready to change the settings from the speedlite itself since I can't access the menu from the camera. However, I was saved! Everything was set and ready, even though with some tiny tilt in the mug still but it is far better than in my first trial (you can compare the images above).

Bring Me Your Mug
First stitching trial for the peeling, with the help of Photoshop to fix some stitching errors.

Generally speaking, there is so much to learn, but Bring Me Your Mug (After UB40's song Bring Me Your Cup) sounds promising. Initially, this is not the look that I've intended to stitch as I wanted the handle to show from the side and not in the front. Anyway, some Photoshop tricks were needed to finalize the image and fix some stitching errors, and also to bring the handle to the middle of the image, as it was, originally, on the left side of the image. The experimenting is still going on in fact and the image above is just a sample for this post as I'm still working on a better image, if any!

Mistakes and Thoughts

This experiment specifically sparked many things that I've never thought of before while working with PTGui. For example, the detailed options for Field of View and the Crop were some sorts of a taboo for me to touch. Not that I can't, but I've never felt the need to do so when working with a regular panorama, because these specific options were fixed automatically by PTGui. Now, however, things had changed. I need to know more specific details about the works of these options to guide PTGui to stitch exactly what I want it to stitch - Talk about a LOT of experiments to be done, not on camera, but with the software itself.
Moreover, there were some points that I think I'm still doing wrong. Even though I've tried to get over the mistakes done in my first trial, yet I don't think I'm able to get over all the issues at once. Typical. Probably I can list some issues in the form of points:

• Center: Probably one of the latest issues that I've noticed. The center of the rotation to me was the center of the base of the mug. Apparently, this is not the case here because we have a handle dangling on the side! Thus, the diameter of the whole shape must be taken into consideration. Unfortunately for me, my eyes were concentrating on the bulky body of the mug and forgetting about the handle issue as if the body was a perfect cylinder.

  

  Possibly a better rotation center would be closer to the handle somehow.

• Shape: I think, possibly, every shape is a project by itself. When doing such peeling effect to shapes other than this mug, I really need to pay attention to how things would turn out while this specific shape is turned around. I'm quite sure at the moment that whatever techniques I've used to compose this peel for this mug, won't absolutely work smoothly for other objects. I guess it is my mistake as well to start off with somehow irregular shape to do the peeling effect on; Should've started with a more regular shape.
• Control: Up till now, I'm still not controlling PTGui as it should be. Mainly, I'm still not aware of a possible way to specify for PTGui what should be the central part of the stitch. It does it all automatically. Also, the way to make the panorama encompass 360^o field of view is still not obvious to me. One time it works as if by magic, then once again it can't be done. The demonstration above, Bring Me Your Mug, was wrapped around by Photoshop and originally, it is not a 360^o stitch.
• Dimensions: So far, all the hassle is for a single point of view: horizontal. What if there are more freedom levels, like taking the object with the same rotation pattern at 45^o (either by raising the camera up and pointing down or, which is easier, by tilting the object)? How things would go on with this approach? Definitely, a novel of technical talk.
• Rotation: Is 360^o stitch a must? With different objects that I can place, I'm pretty sure that at some point for some objects there are no interesting details at some angles. Take the mug above for example. I could have done it (and will work on it soon) with stitching 180^o rotation only, I presume. Yet, I'm not sure how it would look. I have to look further into this. Moreover, what if I divided the stitch for the whole 360^o peel into two 180^o? Is it possible to stitch the two parts together? Also, more experiments need to be conducted.
• QTVR: Unlike the typical panorama and the typical Object VR render, what if I try to make a QTVR out of a peeled object? How does it feel to the viewer? Interesting? Not? We shall see!
• Photoshop: Stitching errors are inevitable even with a regular, well-done panoramas. Here, it is no exception. However, I know my limits in regular panoramas, and when to rely on Photoshop to fix the errors. Yet, I'm not sure what are the conditions here with peeling. I've been mangling a lot with the Blending option in PTGui trying to reduce the stitching errors, but my attempts were unsuccessful. What I've discovered is, for such stitches, the Blending option is so sensitive (probably because of the tight Crop), making a single digit change leading to a drastic change in the blend - That way, making things hard for me to control. Either way, Photoshop is absolutely needed, either to add or to fix features.

These are my thoughts so far about it and I can't tell many things until I work more with this peeling issue. Next time, I need to get me a simple object, with no handles!

I have some ideas cooking in my head as well other than this peeling effect but the excitement about this ruled me over and made me forget about other stuff that I've set my mind to. Hopefully, some stuff will be ready by next week! 

Finale

Source: Amazon

Currently, I've been reading the last book on my list, the Handbook For Classical Research after finishing with the previous Lens Design book. It is a relaxation book if I should say. Yes, it is dedicated for, probably, college students but here I'm reading it in a fast pace without much intelligence needed to digest the contents. However, without much intelligence doesn't mean no sparks of ideas or a dull mind, I presume. The book got some nice discussions, questions and arguments, but majorly it is a resources book if I should say to help the new comers to the field. Even though it is about the Graeco-Roman culture in general, but still, many ideas can be generalized, even into the venue of natural sciences.

Geltani, on the other hand, got some time out of my brain in the past two weeks but I didn't standardize anything yet. This venue is walking slowly I'd say. Probably I will post about it next week, if possible!

Meanwhile, I'm starting to get sick of things around me and specially my car. I'm trying to vent as much as possible through camera work or music. However, I've noticed that to some extent, my daydreaming habit was reduced with the reduction in music consumption. I'm now almost like a quasi-confident that in the Islamic culture and literature, music was frowned upon for some reasons like this one - Daydreaming. Anyway, with the pressure at home, and with my car that persists on giving me headaches, I'm finding myself thrown into a dilemma. I need to vent, to dance, to sing, and simply, to smile. Been a while since I've smiled from the heart, and I've been doing it mostly as a compliment to others. Let me tell you, I'm sick of the others. Closest ones, before the furthest.

In a world where everyone tends to be a philosopher, the classy and the mundane, who has the time for a gazing wretch trying to find a meaning for the word "Happiness," like me?

Let's Play!

I'm not sure what kind of week is this, as I'm typing this in the middle of the week to be posted on Thursday. However, one problem with the car and the whole week seems to be like a disaster.
I didn't post a thing last week despite the simple material that was available just because I did need some vacation from writing here, and because of the hectic life pace and with such heat that already exceeds 40^oC at just 10:00 a.m. sometimes, my mind and brain were completely out of words and order and all what I was thinking of was sleep, sleep and sleep.
The material, however, was not much more than simply some floral shots that were taken around my work place just because I felt the need to work with my camera. I've done as I've done the 50mm challenge  before, when I would pick up my camera and the 50mm lens only and try to train my eyes to find something; the only difference here though is the fact that I've picked up my extension tubes with me.

New Born
Canon EF 50mm + tube, f/11, 30^-1sec, ISO400.

Working out without a tripod and extension tubes is certainly not a work for the faint heart! One particular scene that really got my interest and surprise is some tiny blooms in a bud beside my work place, just like the one in New Born. These tiny blooms were actually almost 1 cm in diameter when fully open; and when I saw them first day I was without tubes, and when I visited them next day with the tubes, they were all gone. Most of them died because of the heat and probably the petals flew away with the hot wind. I was lucky to find this one in New Born and I had to dangle my body and holding the camera with one hand while balancing myself with the other against some rail and with the help of the on-camera flash, I've barely managed to get some stability (but not completely stable) at 30^-1sec.

Floral Abstract
Canon EF 50mm + tube, f/22, 80^-1sec, ISO400.

Generally speaking, one should not try to do macro without a tripod, either using a macro lens or extension tubes. Kids, don't try this at home!
However, sometimes it just happens that you need to try. After all, we do photography for fun here and not for a serious paid job to do, and yet we get somehow extra happy to find one or two shots that went out OK despite the instability of the situation. The situation becomes harder when you have to use high f-number (smaller aperture). Maybe you've noticed that New Born was taken with f/11, and Floral Abstract with f/22 and both were taken at ISO400. This is one of the reasons that I had to use the on-camera flash even though it is not a good source of light specially in macro shots but playing around can do some achievements anyway. The core purpose of the whole thing is to go light and take whatever comes your way, thus no speedlites were taken along. The shutter can be increased a bit though if the object is under the sun as in Floral Abstract which was half lit by the sun. If I'm to take this shot again I would have done it differently, with more close-up approach, and, of course, a tripod!

3D Seeds

One of the interesting findings, if I should call it so, is when I've discovered two images for the core of a sunflower that are close to each other with some change in perspective, which ignited in me directly the desire to make an anaglyph, or a 3D image. The different thing about 3D Seeds is the fact that the two shots were not exactly different in point of view, but they are different little bit in focusing distance. However, some points did coincide (not completely), mainly those in the center of the focus region of course. I'm not sure if this is a good 3D effect in fact but with red-cyan viewing glasses, the composition looks fine and almost no ghosting appears! Maybe a trend for some new studies for 3D composing? Who knows!

Revolving

It had been some time since I did a brainstorming session but some times you don't really need it when some items are available at hand to give you some kind of an idea to do and work with. This is exactly what happened when I've found a small plastic globe that my older sister brought to teach my nephews (from another sister and my brother) about geography for some of their tests.
I thought tabletop photography is, relatively, something easy to do indoors but believe me if I say it is lot harder (and even harder when you have to move your equipments out of home!). Moving stuff from my room to the guest room where I usually shoot is not any easier task, and while there is a table that is good to use for such projects, yet I can't use it because it is in a small place and I can't move it often here and there to do my projects. Thus, all I got is one small place in one corner of the guest room.

Test Shot

My plan was to record the movement of the globe with somewhat a spot light effect from the side or from top, while having a background of some old map (I do have this already on size A2 from previous project, and yet not a good size!). Lot of technical problems were in play here, mainly the question of how to rotate the globe and have a long exposure - and in the same time how to make a coherent exposure with my speedlite. In the beginning, the speedlite has to be set on 2^nd shutter sync so that after the blur of the movement is recorded with the long exposure, the speedlite would freeze the motion to get a concrete image of the globe and its map at the END of the exposure. However, long exposure with an extra speedlite light meant possible overexposure, thus many test shots with varying exposure times were taken to make sure that the background is dark but not invisible while the globe is lit with the correct power from the speedlite (with honeycomb grid attached to it); a very delicate matter, and I was going to use some ND filters as well (as in the Test Shot above) but I've abandoned this idea later as the exposure was long enough just by switching off most of the lights in the room, and a double ND would tint the image magenta.

Welt im Wandel
Tamron 70-300mm @109mm, f/4, 4sec, ISO100.

However, despite the test shots, the whole game changed when the question of the motion came into play; mainly, how to do so?
After looking here and there, I've finally arrived to the idea to use my own vacuum cleaner which can be used to jet air from the other end as well as the regular vacuuming. It did achieve something in the beginning but I've realized that pointing the hose is not an easy task and the pointer should be precisely set (as I kept holding the hose with my own hand while putting the camera on timer to take the shot). However, this step rose many other problems, like the movement of the globe itself because of the power of the air (and to solve it I had to use lot of duct-taping skills!), and also, even though there was some blur movement but the freezing motion of the speedlite was dominant and the image appeared stable and not moving, thus probably requiring more exposure time and doing that I might screw the whole mathematics of the experiment! I think it was better to use one dominant light, like a desk lamp, instead of a speedlite here. Anyway, I had to satisfy myself with Welt im Wandel and few other experimental shots.

Revolving Australia
Tamron 70-300mm @109mm, f/4, 4sec, ISO100.

In one of the trial shots I was lucky to get something close to what I had in my mind, but it wasn't created with the effect of a spotlight from a speedlite, but rather by the sluggish movement of the globe as the air flow from the hose was not precise enough, but rotating the globe for a little then it would stop. The movement blur here is not quite strong and it might need more time, but with a speedlite I believe it would all stop completely and no motion blur would be obvious as well.

One point I'd like to mention here is a website that helped me now on keywording my images and I'd love to share it with you. I've mentioned some previous website in some previous post but this one now works better for me with its functionality. It belongs to Microstock, which is another photo stock website (but I didn't make up an account there yet).

It was such a long experimenting but the main part was to set and configure the gear around which consumed most of the time (and power). One of the major problems here as well even before working with the light and motion is the fact that the cable or cord from the camera to the speedlite was quite short and bulky to be dealt with - for this reason I had to keep close to the globe and bear with the reflections on the surface (but I've managed to clone some of it in Welt im Wandel). However, this problem will hopefully vanish soon with a new set of toys!

Let's Play!

What I didn't mention last week is the fact that I've placed a new order for some new stuff. Mainly light gear but one major bulky device that I've been waiting to have (and my hands got all itchy!).

Source: B&H

First item is the Sensei 48-58mm Filter Wrench which should be very useful when I deal with my IR filter and polarizer along with, probably, other attachments. It is probably more useful when attaching the IR filter and the polarizer together, since I had problems with these two before, specially in winter. I think in winter almost everything tends to jam a bit. These two wrenches will be useful in the near future.

Source: B&H

Next item is the Pearstone Onyx 30 Lens Case and this one is mainly to carry my dear Canon EF 15mm fisheye lens; my one and only lens that I usually use when creating panoramas (haven't done those in some long time now!). The cover or cap of this lens is easily removed and it doesn't click over the lens' front, thus I thought such a pocket is a better protection for it.

Source: B&H

Then we come to the fun part with the Rising Standard Pinhole; yes, pinhole. Just like in the old times. This one is specifically made for Canon mounts and I believe you can find it for other type of mounts. From what I gather, the larger the sensor/film, the better for the total sharpness of the image. The f-number for this pinhole is f/222 (but in the instructions manual it's f/223 for APS-C type cameras), so just imagine the depth of field (and the length of the exposure!). I'm still interested in the mathematics involved here though and who knows, I might be able to do my own pinhole measuring to something higher than f/222. Remember that Diameter (of aperture) = focal length / N; and from there we can start on manipulating stuff.

Source: B&H

And then comes the savior! The Vello Universal Duo TTL Off-Camera Flash Cord (33'), and by "(33')" it is meant to be 33 feet, approximately about 10 meters! Unfortunately, I've done the globe experiment above before the arrival of this cable (and till the moment of writing this, I didn't test the cable). This cable would and should push the limits of my speedlites significantly. One question hovers in my mind though: what would be the situation with High-Speed photography? I'm pretty sure there would be some time delay to transfer the signal (we are talking about microseconds here). In High-Speed photography, each single micro- or even nanosecond counts. We shall see about this matter in time.

Source: B&H

Finally, comes the one big toy that I should spend more and more time with. The X-Rite ColorMunki Photo Color Management Solution. Even though I do already have a ColorMunki device to calibrate my monitors (laptops and desktop), yet this device is here is far beyond calibrating monitors only (hence it costs more!). With this, I will be able, hopefully, to calibrate monitors, and make profiles from prints and analyze ambient light or even calibrate a projector! The perfect tool, I would say, for creating showrooms and proper digital darkrooms when needed. I'm thinking of installing this into my (old) desktop and my (new) laptop to make them ready for any task in the future. Just a point here about analyzing the ambient light; it is something important but unfortunately I don't see many people care about this tiny detail, at least in expos here in Kuwait. If you are a photographer and you really care about displaying your photos in printed form in a proper way as you envision them, it is not enough to calibrate your monitor to get the right colors. You have to get profiles for the printing but this is a matter that might be skipped for good in many cases (yet it is good to have profiles for various media). Then we arrive at the ambient light criteria. It is a good thing to know what kind of light and what color temperature the ambient light would be in the place where the photos are to be shown, because with this information, you would be able to examine the effect of such light on the colors of your photos on your (calibrated) monitor before even printing. Thus, you might think of making your photos more yellow-like to balance the extreme blue-colored light in a showroom or vice versa. It is all about taking care of the balance of colors and soft-proofing on your monitor before printing and displaying the photos.

Now with all these loads of new stuff, I think I do need an extra case to keep lot of these stuff and abandon that old small case (which was used for my old Canon 350D!). I'm thinking of getting one of those small traveling cases with wheels to keep my speedlites and related stuff in them. It is about time to organize some stuff (but not my room!).

Bücher

Source: Amazon

In the matter of books, I've finished my Lens Design book but in a fast rhythm. I've realized that such a book can't be read and completely digested without a tutor and without a practical workout. The many mathematical concepts involved are not so weird for me even though they include a high order of complexity, but in most times, many terms there within are familiar to me. However, in mathematics, at least with me, it never works without a practical workout and some tutor to walk step by step along the process. You'd think lot of the concepts here are relatively new but the fact is, most of such mathematical endeavor was developed long in the 18^th and 19^th centuries! Anyway, after passing through the pages quickly and read some articles, I've decided to look at some of my old books or even look into some books about optics in the library near by. That might help to achieve a better basic understanding for this topic.

Source: Amazon

I've started now reading the last book in the queue line, Handbook For Classical Research, in hope to flavor my mind with some archaeological spice. From the first few pages that I've read (and I didn't delve deep yet!) it seems that the whole book is about the Greco-Roman studies and culture. I was hoping for further expansion but anyway I still do think it is an interesting topic. The good thing about this book is that it is written by a single person, single author, and not scattered among various authors with an article or two for each. Such books with many authors involved are kind of scattered in thoughts and it's hard to keep a chain of thought going through the whole reading session. In linguistics and humanities, I've faced numerous books done in that manner and I have to say, it is kind of a waste of time to read but probably better be kept as a reference material when needed. I'm hoping this new book would give some amusement into my dull brain!

Unsettled Geltani

Maybe I didn't write much thoughts in my notebook about Geltani lately but nevertheless I was active in my mind. Yeah, I'm wondering why do I have a notebook anyway! However, I'm still planning slowly on assigning phonetic values and on the other hand I think I will abandon the newly-created system of possession articles. I think my problem was to create everything in idle and concise manner, but I think a language is more random than concise or systematic. Thus, I've decided to work on another method which might work as: pronoun-subject-suffix. For example, My Cat, would appear as: I-Cat-(suffix here). Development is slow naturally because of my stuffed schedule, and problems!

Finale

Scandinavian Eyes - Frida

Troubles on the home front keeps me busy and alert. I do say "front," yes. Because it seems that way; a game of dominance and reliance. There are moments that I do wish, and do imagine, how my life would be with another form of a family. They say you can't choose your family, but you can pick up your friends. However, under the current circumstances, it seems that I don't have the former, nor the latter. It feels like I'm floating with no support; not physically, nor emotionally. Mom is doing her best to keep me happy and I know it. I can see it in her eyes and actions. However, I'm the one who's supposed to keep her happy. I have a family that I can barely relate to.
Here and there, I'm keeping myself amused with some brush-up jobs with some photos from instagram users. It is something that I used to enjoy doing long before I take photography as a hobby. It might be just the desire to make something beautiful but trust me, if the original photo/person is not beautiful in the first place I would really have hard time creating the "uncreated". I think I do get satisfaction from the gratitude and happiness that those people show when I create some art with their pictures. I'm not a psychologist, but probably I'm projecting my needs outward - something that I've lost in my inner circle is satisfied with deeds to the outer world.
There had been some thoughts about resigning and chasing my own career but such thoughts are still cooking. It bears great responsibilities as well and even stepping into such realm should be done carefully without leaving the main job at once. However, with the current circumstances at work and the great disrespect that I face from the admins who think that my work place is something vain, I'm seriously getting sick of everyone around here and do wish to break free from all these master-slave relations. How, I don't know; but every good meal, needs a proper cooking...