Kika VII…

This is somewhat a sad post. As I'm typing these words, our canary (which I've posted about in the previous post) had died after some weird illness or condition. It's a perplexing feeling really; Part of me is sad and part of me is happy. I'm sad because he is dead, and happy because he finally left the damn cage which I wanted to take him off from but couldn't; Because no one cared, and no one liked the idea. I didn't give him a name (and I don't even know if it is a male indeed), but all I can say is, RIP Canary, I'll miss you…

 On a side note, I've also been under some allergy attack, which is gone by now but a slight cough remains. The cough, though, leaves such an awful taste sometimes; Something metallic or like breathing through some plastic pipe! I just hope I won't be needing Seretide for this. I think I had just about enough for 2 weeks of time of my life!

Little Announcement

Just before proceeding with the main post, I wanted to state that I've finally uploaded ALL the batches of images that were on the queue! And now, it is time for me to work with some NEW images that I've shot recently and prepare some of them to be uploaded the stocks. 

The new uploaded batches

 

Typically, and as usual, the selfies were uploaded to Mostphotos exclusively. The rest are spread across Canstockphoto, Dreamstime and 123RF. However, at the moment of typing this, 123RF uploads are still under review (typical) while the rest had been accepted in the same day (with few rejects). Not only that, but also one of the images (1^st in 4^th row) had been sold already via Dreamstime! I remember in the old days when Dreamstime's reviewing process used to take a considerable time but things had been faster now and even more promising!
There is still one image that I didn't upload and it is ought to be exclusively on Dreamstime and that is Killing Evil (1^st in 2^nd row) which is actually a PNG with a transparent background, and thus considered a vector. I've uploaded it several times but it is not getting through and I need to check back on that later. 

Kika VII

So, we arrive at Kika's photo-challenge for Week 7, which had somewhat a weird title for it, and in fact it was not possible to put it all in a single hashtag. The challenge was about combining unexpected items or objects. I have to admit I got my head spinning around and I didn't know what to shoot here, thus I referred back to my arsenal of shots and started playing around. I didn't want to skip a single challenge at this point!

Red Escape II

The shot was taken back in March 2020, where I was working with some random ideas of mixing feathers and water, so I thought it is the right mix for this photo challenge. I've shot many in this series of feathers and water, using both high-speed and stroboscopic flash (Red Escape is apparently shot with stroboscopic flash). The problem (kind of) was that, that I did post this photo back then when I've created it. So, just to make things a bit different I've decided to make a little edit and change the jar color to blue, which I thinks adds even more contrast better than the original (where the water was reddish). All these shots in the series are uploaded to my various stock accounts (you can check one of them by clicking the frame at the end of this post).
Things though did not stop at this photo for this challenge, just yet.

Through H-Alpha

Funny thing is that before the announcement of this photo-challenge by Kika, I did some photo-shoot in the yard at home as I was experimenting with some concepts, as well as trying to practice some editing techniques (those related to creating pastel-like images). Along the way and since I was carrying my two cameras (regular and modified) with some filters, I've shot Through H-Alpha using my H-Alpha filter holding it in front of my (beloved) Rokinon 8mm fisheye lens; By hand of course! I think this raises this image of combining unexpected items (a filter and a fisheye lens!) but also combines 2 scenes into one; A normal one and a filtered one. It did require a considerable work with layer masks and levels to correct the colors outside the circle and enhancing those within the circle as an infrared shot should be, somehow. The shot was, of course, taken with my modified camera, thus even the area outside the filter was tinted because of the infrared coming from the sun. The image originally was all shades of red!

Pastel-ization

As I've mentioned already (in this post and probably previous ones), I'm trying to work on some new technique in editing, but so far, I didn't practice much of it. Most probably I would need to work on old shots from my arsenal instead of working on new ones. However, here are some shots that were relatively new in fact and shot specifically for this edit.

عَـطْـفْ (Bending)

The work here is actually inspired by a Portuguese lady artist and photographer which I, unfortunately, can't recall her name; I've seen an article (interview) with her in one of those Google suggested pages on my phone. Anyway, looking at her images and reading swiftly through the interview, I kind of managed to take the main points of such a style:

1. Saturated colors.
2. Somewhat happy colors.
3. Bright colors.

Thus, I was working on these key features. Of course, the heavy work relies on editing rather than in-camera work. However, I guess not all subjects are suitable for this type of style. Nevertheless, one wouldn't know unless one tries!

Bougainvillian Curve

One of the key points in "shooting" the images, as the Portuguese photographer stated, is shooting when the sun is high up (noon time). However, I did shoot when the sun was just rising on the yard at home, and I think I do now understand why did she mention this point specifically; Shadows and dark tones are not good candidates for such a technique! Not only shadows in fact but darker tones in general so it is better to avoid them as much as possible I guess. As can be seen above in Bending and Bougainvillian Curve, the dark black pots of the bougainvilleas are hard to render in such technique and they feel much like being obtrusive. Just to aid the image a bit here I've added a tone or two to the black or the shadows in these images. It's clear  now why the midday sun is the best for such a technique of "editing".
As I've stated, I didn't work with this editing technique much still and maybe I did some photo here and there (one of them was posted for Kika's photo-challenge). I've been swept away with other photo-shooting and, as usual, domestic issues. Hopefully I will attend to this technique further in the future and try to have a grasp on it.

Finale

I consider myself lucky to finish this blog post actually. With all the tired body and the stack of "work" to do (not related to my actual job nor to photography) and I managed to finish this blog post - but I had to start earlier than usual! Ah well…
I'm having an idea of starting a blog post in Arabic for my Arabic blog, which I didn't post in for a long time now. The post would be about my experience in shooting bubbles, which I will post here in time, as I'm trying to go chronologically here in this blog with all the images that I've taken in the past few weeks. The bubbles shoot was a big deal and I've come out with loads of images (some of them even uploaded to stocks already). However, the bulk of them are not yet prepared to be uploaded. I'll keep that talk for another time.
I've been also taken by astrology lately; An old passion and interest that got re-kindled for a while now (even before COVID time) and I've been reading texts here and there and watching videos about topics and all that. But this is a bad habit actually and I know, because there are priorities I need to tend to. This also brings to my mind the passion for Conlangs which I didn't attend to, and specially after the lock-down of my other Instagram account, @Ayvarith. Funny how this blog was first started to talk about the Conlang of Ayvarith but then changed to other topics completely. Despite being taken over by photography, Ayvarith still has a place in my heart, and it might get re-kindled after some time, along with other Conlangs and Conscripts. Who knows?
On a domestic level, my isolation is getting tighter and tighter and I barely leave my room for few minutes (mainly to make me coffee). The mental disconnect is getting quite hard to fix in this house and nothing seems to make sense to me, neither I make sense to anyone else. On a mental level, ghosts from the past keep visit me unexpectedly with the thoughts "Why did it happen that way?" or "How did it happen that way?". Quite useless thoughts and there is nothing I can do about them, but the stress that loads on my mind because of the house keeps recalling these memories. How I wish I could just afford my own place and stay alone… At least if such memories come, they would visit without a stress…

Kika VI…

Busy weeks, and Ramadan is already in. It seems that I do have to start typing my blogs very early just when one post is published! My busy schedule, by the way, includes helping and studying for my brother's sake as well as trying to nap intermittently to do these chores. I, too, have a new load of images that I really need to process further and make ready to be uploaded to the stocks. All that while there is a list of images to be uploaded to the stocks already! I wonder if 24 hours a day are still enough.
I've uploaded previously 10 panoramas and made them exclusive to Mostphotos, and I do have plans to add to them. However, because of this hectic life I'm leading right now, this won't be any time soon I guess. I've been trying to promote these panoramas by sharing them over, but seems this method is not working well. Or maybe people are just not interested in such things anymore. Ah well…
I've been struck with an allergic attack out of nowhere this week and my health is kind of up and down (again) but seems things are getting better, though slowly. I just hope it doesn't relapse to something worse!

Kika VI

As the Retinitis Pigmentosa project is over with, I'm going to jump right into Kika's photo-challenge this time and then continue with other shots that I've done before or after or during the running of these photo-challenges (which are over by last week by the way). So, the theme of the 6^th week's challenge was Growth.

 

The Two (re-make)

In the beginning I was quite blank about this idea and tried to brainstorm and come about with some unusual ideas. I did in fact come with some sort of idea but the execution failed. For this reason, I thought maybe I should just re-work some old image resembling something about Growth and I did find this image indeed; The Two. A shot I've taken around my workplace back in 2019. I've posted this shot on Instagram long time ago and in order not to be repeating myself, I've decided to edit it in a different way, pushing more on the artistic side rather than the "proper" photography side. Thus, I didn't care much about removing that brick on the right side and the photo was edited in a trial to mimic the pastel colors style. I've tried this editing style in a number of photos but honestly I didn't go deep with such experiments. I think I still need to do more about it.

Anyway, after posting the photo on Instagram, I found out that I still have time - I was too busy with other things that I've doubted I could do my idea in time, specially that is an idea that requires a lot of Photoshop work (or magic, if you will!).

 

صَدَقَة (Alms)

 

The idea came about from a Hadith (reported speech from prophet Mohammed, PUH) which goes like: Never did the money of a servant gone less by alms-giving. Meaning that when someone gives charity, his or her money grows back and do not get lesser.
The execution was a bit clumsy in terms of the hand movement (I don't have flexible muscles). I've used a table covered in black cloth and made the gestures behind the far edge. The lighting though was a bit problematic and I had to struggle with it to get some proper angle. I was too lazy to use more than one and in fact the idea would NOT require more than one. Whenever you think of "drama" always think of "one light". This is my tip for you! The position of the lighting was quite critical to avoid lighting the wall behind me as much as possible. I would be able to merge the photos in Photoshop after all but it is just wise I guess to reduce the workload and the problems as much as possible in the shooting phase. The rest of the tale is, of course, a Photoshop tale; Merging various shots together (and discarding unneeded ones) and playing the game of layer masks, and adding a touch of lighting effects. Luckily all of this was done and posted on Instagram before the announcement of the next photo-challenge by Kika! (which occurred typically on Thursdays on her Youtube channel). I consider myself lucky for finishing this little project in such a short time, with all the mess that life keeps throwing at me! The question remains now as whether I should upload it to the stocks or not, specially that it is such a large image file. Anyway, I better put that on hold as there are other batches of photos that needs to be uploaded first.

 

Gesture
One of the shots that I've liked in my first attempt with this little project.

 

Rolling Back

After indulging so much in these photo-challenges as well as with RP project, it does sound a bit hard for me to roll back to where I stopped with my random camera working! Among the little announcements that I've used to post for a while, it seems that the latest post of some real camera work was done back in November 2020 or so when I used to stroll around morning times and snap some images around my area. So, What I'm going to do here is to roll back to February 2021.

 

Meditative Behind Bars

 

Typical for such a lockdown (or without it honestly), I often look around to look for something to shoot and back in the day I've picked our poor bird (which I think is a canary). I say poor because, well, I really hate to see birds behind cages but I'm forced to let it be so since I don't own it; Yet, I'm trying to take care of it as much as possible since no one in this house would. I don't actually think anyone here thinks of animals like the way I do.

A Concept of Freedom

The shoot was done using Sigma 70-300mm lens, and my old 7D camera (i.e. the normal one not the modified one). It can be noticed though that I've focused on the pinkish theme here to add some softness and gentleness to the harsh reality of being behind bars (and no, it has nothing to do with feminism nor the feminine side of the bird). There is, supposedly, a trick that would hide the bars but I think I would need special preparations and another lens. I've picked this lens specifically to be able to stay away from the cage and shoot, and the minimum aperture here is f/4.5 (goes to f/5 when zooming). All in all, it was a good practice for motion handheld shooting with AI Servo drive!

Canary (3D)

One of the benefits of shooting a bit further away from the cage (even though the bird does not have much freedom here) is to keep the bird moving and follow him in a close-up. I think it would be such a good practice for people who are into wild-life photography at some stage, but for me it does not exceed the limit of enjoying and practicing the camera and the hold. Since I was shooting in a continuous (burst) mode, there was a great build-up of images with chances for creating 3D anaglyph images as in Canary (3D) where the movement of the camera OR the bird was subtle, but the difference is capable of creating a parallax difference and hence a 3D illusion; This is mainly because of zooming in. In addition to that, some artistic rendition can be made later on (with a tick of inspiration when that comes) as in Desperado.

Desperado

I guess you can see how much I feel sorry for the bird. In fact I've tried to let it go but I've discovered that he was not able to fly and feared it would be devoured by some cat out there, thus we got it back to the cage. In Desperado, the collage was made of images shot continuously for the bird as it was trying to clean itself or something. There was a load of images to check out as well as a load of them to be deleted for the apparent shake. So, again, I consider myself lucky here to have these successive 4 in order.

Finale

Well, Ramadhan is here and I'm absolutely grateful to the fact that I don't have to go to work. Even though, I do have personal troubles and setbacks on the other side of the spectrum here, but well, trying to keep looking at the bright side of things.
I've got here load of things to do (beside typing these posts every other week), mainly helping my brother and attending to Mom a bit. In this mess also, I'm kind of swept by astrology, as I'm trying to learn few tips and bits from here and there. Well, mainly to understand myself really but I do dwell on other aspects from time to time as well.
I really wanted to talk a bit about my "bubbles" project in this post but I thought I should roll back and make things a bit chronological as this project is just recent and worked with in the past few weeks of April. So many images I've processed in this project that I'm going to need some time to prepare them for the stock (and let's hope they accept them as some works of abstracts). I've even made a video for a quick view for all of them. This said, there are a number of them that I've set aside to be processed later (not sure when) as they didn't quite get along the others. We'll see about that.
Days pass now, and my isolation increases by the day. An isolation that strikes in the mind and the heart before in body itself. And this has nothing to do with COVID and the lock-downs, though related in some way, but it is something bigger than that. I wouldn't mind if this isolation was somewhere out there, somewhere green, somewhere with fresh air and singing birds. But here? I just don't know how long I can stand this…

 

An tSiúlóid…

As I'm typing this, there were some trials (and errors of course) on some little project which really consumed my time at home recently. Anyway, I'm still working on this and let's hope that I get something useful out of it! Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm doing or have done already, but we'll see. I'll explain things later when it is time to talk about this little idea in future posts, hopefully. Meanwhile, I'm actually living from one weekend to another and now waiting for the New Year's holiday here (which will be only one day). Not just to sleep more as much as I can, but to ease my mind a bit (specially about driving the damn car to and from work). Anyway, who's not sick of driving cars right now in this place with traffic jams taking up the roads for more than 12 hours a day?

Budgie

Since I was not doing much with my camera and as I was trying to kick myself a bit to move and do something, I've found some new target for me here: Our parakeet (a.k.a Budgie). We had this bird for a while and I truly hate to see birds in cages but, well, as usual, I don't have a say in this in this home of mine. I have to say though, he kind of have a weird character. I can feel it.

Nostralia

So, what I did, I just placed the cage on a table (as usual) and placed a speedlite beside it on another table and started to shoot a bit randomly; Why randomly? Well, it is an animal and I can't control its pulses, specially being inside a cage! Thus, my mind was set to do a lot of cropping work later on when examine the shots. To overcome the bars or the cage, I've used my 100mm macro lens (at f/8) in hope that the bars would not be too obvious; However, they helped me at some point as we will see! And for some reason, I've used my converted Canon EOS 7D here without any filters (no IR, nor Hot Mirror), and guess what? I was able to retain the original colors back with the adjustment of the white balance while processing the photos quite easily. Just as a remark: The main source of lighting here is the speedlite and not the ambient light, which means there is an abundant amount of infrared issued through, but without using any filtration system, I was good to go and I got the colors back (well, to be honest, I was hoping I would get something vivid or strange in terms of colors).

3D-Keet

Parastrakt

Taking many pictures on burst (successive) mode did help me as well to inspect the shots for some chances to make anaglyphs. They were not many in fact and apparently f/8 was not enough with this macro endeavor (the shallow depth changed as the bird moved and I was trying to follow him up!). Anyway, my main aim was to create abstracts actually and not anaglyphs, and this is why I was thinking of the crops from the very beginning of this random shooting, as you might have seen already up with Nostralia. I didn't name the pictures even prior to this post; I'm just putting the names now for easy reading and pointing!
Looking at some of these images, I've remembered some of the photos I've seen from some photographers here where they did use telephoto lenses with close objects like birds and horses and that really gives me an idea that I might try one day with my Sigma 70-300mm lens one day with this bird, as apparently this macro lens didn't block out much spaces, as can be seen in Parastrakt in the lower right corner (this image was flipped and rotated to be in that form by the way). The irony is, the first image I've shot in this series, was the latest to be processed and yet, probably so far, the most beloved to me! Behind Bars.

Behind Bars

Behind Bars was one of the first shots I've made in this series but for some reason, I didn't check it out till later after processing few images. I loved the lines formed by the ribs of the cage, with some of them being in focus and some blurred. Originally, I tried to work in color but then I realized that this image is more dramatic and more eye-catching in B&W and probably the emotions do show better in that way. I can see fear in his face (what about you?) probably because of what was happening around him with flash pulses striking his face. What I really like about this image, too, is the way that blurred lines of the ribs blend on the head of the bird like bands of inverse colors; This is definitely a trick I need to think of using in some of my future shots if possible. So far, there had been few images I need to check, and some I need to re-check in this series to see if there is any potential left in them.

The Stroll

With the "somewhat" lack of activities, and after watching some photography videos on Youtube, I got some passionate kindle going on inside of me to do some shooting outside (specially with the winter season right now). I do miss going out at night but anyway this is not the case here. I'm starting simple: A stroll around my workplace.
The thing was like a challenge and I used to do some challenges of that sort often and specifically around my workplace, where I would pick my camera with one lens only and go around my workplace trying to shoot something and come out with something unique. This time, though, I packed a camera with a lens (50mm), plus few items (2 mini-tripods which I didn't use anyway and intervalometer, beside a pinhole cap). As I started to work, an idea sparked inside of me to do some Anaglyph-dedicated shooting, which I did (despite the annoying flies!).

The strolling kit packed in a little camcorder bag.

In order to quicken my work a bit and also to get as much as possible out of the scene in order to be merged as an anaglyph later on, I put the camera on burst mode. It was partially cloudy day, but nevertheless, I could work in the range of 1/1000s of a second for the shutter's speed, and that made my work easier as all I had to do is just press the button and move gently to get a set of images with slightly different perspective. Working with 50mm lens here did not give me the choice to get closer (I didn't bring with me any extension tubes for macro jobs), and there were some instances where I wished I did bring those with me. However, the killing mistake was to use a very shallow depth of field (f/1.4, the lowest f-number for this lens). This aperture proved to be so sensitive to the movement that two successive shots can be so different in terms of the depth of field (and the location of the depth or the sharpness of the image). Anyway, I did escape with some useful images after all and some of them were good to be merged anyway!
 Some shots, I think, are better off to be in B&W as well because of the drastic and quite eye-attraction they cause away from their normal colored looks. I've discovered this by chance as I was trying to remove the color distraction from some images before converting them into anaglyphs. Sometimes, and for some images, the original colors can be quite an obstacle for a proper 3D Anaglyph viewing.

The Negative Bloom
Despite being like a negative or invert in colors, it is a direction conversion into B&W with a play in the tones.
One of my favorites.

But anyway, back to the main purpose of the stroll, which is regular shots, with some abstracts if possible. Escaping from the flies outside, I came back in into my office and started figuring out a way to use the pinhole cap this time (0.22mm) and shoot something towards the window. Actually, the idea for this shot was the reason I thought of bringing my camera to my work, because when the lights are switched off, the window becomes the main source of light; A majestic scene in winter time and the cold weather! Maybe because of the warmth that it provides? Seriously, I'm in this job for about 13 years now and I don't feel this, with such sun rays coming through the window, but only in winter alone. Well, it might have to do with the direction of the sun as well and how the rays enter the room, who knows?! In anyway, it was something to think of for a shoot!

My Dreams Window

The challenge, though, was how to I'm going to shoot this without a tripod? Even though the sun rays were strong enough to shorten the exposure, yet the exposure was in terms of seconds (ranged from 4 to 30 seconds depending on the angle). I almost gave up on that actually, but then I thought while use this relatively-long exposure to my advantage and create the abstract by moving the camera vertically in a line (as much as possible). Which I did, but then I did also add some motion blur when editing the photo later on. I wonder if such images are welcome in stock websites!

Doppel

Even though I was aiming to do a long exposure originally with this pinhole cap and through the window for the people who would usually walk outside, but the circumstances were unlike it. Not many people out there, and no tripod. Thus, I had to satisfy myself with this for now. However, I thought of one last exposure to make with the help of the whiteboard which is hanging in my office. So, I just stuck the camera by hand onto the whiteboard (pressing not too hard for stabilization) and took the exposure like that pointing to the same window, and hence we can see the reflection of the window in Doppel. To tell the truth, I was really thinking that I shot the two windows in my office for a moment! But then I remembered that the second window is covered in curtains still. Dementia at its best.
This was the end of the stroll and in fact up till this moment of typing this, I'm still checking and processing of these images. There is a plan to do it again and that time would be with my Voigtländer 20mm lens. This would be challenging somewhat because it is a wide angle and so many elements might be involved. The good part about this lens is that closest focusing distance is about 20cm which allows for some intimate moments with objects! This said, I'm already planning to upload some of these photos into my accounts on stocks websites and writing the info and keywording is surely a time-consuming task that must be done anyway, and pretty soon.

Finale

Well, because of the scrambled mind here I was not so fortunate to write down a new poem. I really wished to post one here to be my last poem for this year, but alas, my core couldn't stand it with imagination. I'm, though, mainly focusing on pinning down my thoughts about life and recording them for future reflections on my thoughts. It is all recorded in this open document, which I might produce another similar version of it for the year 2019 specifically.
I've been feeling some rage inside of me lately. It's not weird to be enraged, but this time it is a bit weird in a way I can't explain. I mean, a rage to the limit of despising the very thing about the human nature or let's say of those around me. Arrogance? I don't quite think so. Probably just tired. So tired. I'm missing the time when I would just sleep any time I want without worrying about anything. Anyway, let me hit this post button for now and go ahead and work with those images… in hope that I get something ready for the next post in 2 weeks. I leave you now with one of my favorite Muwashshahat by one of my favorite tenors, Sabah Fakhri...

Ór!

I did it! Came to me as a surprise really (and not expected) but it was done! A gold medal in Trierenberg Circuit (Austria's international photography contest) for my panorama from the theater of AbdulHussain AbdulRidha which was done back in 2017.

The thing got me by surprise for real and I'm fluctuating in feelings between happy, and indifferent. Naturally I'd be happy of course, but also indifferent because I didn't expect anything in return - my sole purpose for uploading this panorama to the contest in the first place was to show others our culture and what this great man means to us. Having my name in the beginning of the list also makes me hyper a bit! Anyway, check the end of this post (the Finale section) to see the winning panorama (which I've called "The Smile Giver" previously) embedded from 360Cities for more interactive viewing. Now, let's move on!

 Switch On

It was awesome to have a one-week vacation connected to 2 weekends, so totaling 9 days. But... Still in need of more. It is one of the strangest things, for me at least, that just when I had a vacation to have some rest (and sleeping without setting the alarm before I go to bed), I did indeed get more active (with the camera and in writing). If I had the chance to make it longer, I would. Probably I would be finishing lot of those "projects" which were hanging on my back (and still) without being touched!

One of the things that I've started in this short vacation is going back to my very old microscope and trying something a bit different from all the samples I've done before: an ant. In this trial, I've actually focused on the head, and the eyes specifically. Even though every part of this little insect is interesting for me, but I just focused on this part for the time being, and probably I might go back to this sample to discover other parts. But for the time being, let's just focus on this part; The head.

Ant Head (IR)
~ 138X

Right away, my first trial was shooting with infrared and with reversed lens technique (as I used to do). It took about 172 shots and when processed and combined, the final image didn't appear so clear actually, and I needed to put those tags on it just to let people identify the parts of the head. Notice that the mandibles are clutching to some grain.
Doing infrared here was somehow risky, because I needed to light a powerful tungsten bulb (150W) beside the microscope (literally sticking to the microscope's side) to provide me with a good infrared flux. My two 13W LEDs bulbs failed me and apparently not a good source for IR, obviously! The heat was enormous that I really was scared that the black paper covering (which I use to block stray light away from the camera lens) would catch fire. Things went safely though, yet the results as you can see above, were not good. In the image above, I've used 4X objective to keep the details of the head and the eyes visible in the scene; Otherwise, it would be hard to distinguish those features.

Ant Head
~ 136X

I can say, though, that my second trial (which was not in infrared) was successful. In my second trial here, I've changed the settings which I usually use to shoot, and instead of using the typical lens reversing technique, I've just used extension tubes (full set) in close proximity to the eyepiece. The eyepiece itself was tilted and not completely vertical as usual. This kind of setting kind of put me on ease, because the camera is not dangling vertically above the eyepiece which makes it easier for me to control (still some hardships in positioning is involved though). Here though, unlike my previous infrared attempt, I've used the 10X objective, and the total magnification power (if my calculations are correct) should be around 136X. Ironically, the work for this "normal" shoot took around 72 images (or maybe 90 I can't remember!); Way under 172 images! Yet, the composition is clear (made clear further with post-processing of course) and strangely, the microscope's own dirt or impurities which I couldn't clean off before (and show up in every shoot) didn't show up much in this slide specifically. Worth noting here that when viewed on a larger size, the details can be somewhat ambiguous to notice or understand. Probably it is always better to keep the image dimensions low for such images just for viewers to understand.
Seeing how things worked well with the new technique (using extension tubes and placing the camera on a tripod alone), I decided to try again and use an infrared filter over my 50mm and the tubes assembly. Well, didn't go well, again. However, then I thought why not using an extreme infrared filter instead of the typical B+W 092 filter (threshold=650nm)? This is what I did next as I have an untouched Tiffen 87C infrared filter (threshold about 800nm). Since it is a gel filter, I had to hang it on one of my adapter rings with some paper binders, and at this level because the front is protruding further to the front with the adapter ring and the filter on it (didn't want to scratch the brand-new gel filter), I decided to reduce the extension tubes a bit (removed the 12mm from the full set) and also I've used 4X objective to get proper view for the head.

~45X

The final image here was somehow acceptable despite, ironically, being careless about turning that fine-focusing knob - I've taken a total of about 39 images compared to the more precise work before that which lead to about 172 images! However, I guess the zooming-out played the role for how many shots to be taken actually. Nevertheless, the overall image is relatively sharper and clearer in some details and aspects (of course after the overall processing AND sharpening). It does look like as if it is an X-ray slide for an ant!

 I'm starting to think that some subjects out there are just, simply, not to be shot in infrared. Note that all the infrared shots done so far, are done with the light pupil under the microscope being shut completely to reflect off light from the object under the microscope (whether it is an infrared shooting or a normal one). Thus, I'm thinking if there would be any changes if I let that pupil open and literally let the light pass through it - I know the view is different when shooting in normal conditions, but what about infrared shooting? Any difference? I'll try, but probably with some other sample, as people are getting scared enough already because of this ant head I'm posting for them day and night!
Now a friend of mine suggested that I must get a new microscope, an advanced one, and start to work seriously and get Pro with microscope shooting as it might be a good income venue, but I'm still not sure this is a good idea as I'm still considering it a hobby and an experimenting enjoyment! We'll see...

Ultraivialait

During this short vacation, I had the chance to go and get me some Blacklights from ACE Hardware here, as part of my efforts for shooting ultraviolet with my old B+W 403 filter in combination with my new hot mirror DR-655. So far, however, my trials been limited to the outside, under the sun and I did some trials here and there (and selfies) which were hard to work with and shoot. Mostly required a higher ISO to quicken the shutter speed (beside using a wider aperture). When working with a tripod to overcome the previous problem, there is the problem of the breeze which became quite a challenge in macro settings.

UV Selfie 1

First trials (and every other trial in fact) were shaky and hard to capture without any shake. Raising the ISO was inevitable (sometimes reaching up to 3200). In these trials, I stood to face the sun in hope to get further UV reflected off my face. Noticeably here, the eyes luster typical for the infrared shots does not show up here (naturally). Also, the skin spots that I usually see on some videos are not visible on these selfies, but then I realized that it is probably because I'm a Middle Eastern and the skin structure might differ from Europeans or other ethnic groups which show such spots when shot in UV. But I have to say that I did have my doubt as well about the accuracy of my filters as well!

UV Selfie 2

One aspect of UV photography is the colors and their balance or setting the white balance. I find it quite perplexing and not sure if there is any ""preferable" point to set WB to it. However, it is a surreal type of photography after all and I can't say there is a right or wrong about it. However, I'm asking myself whether the shades of these colors (after fixing the WB) do indeed depend on the time of the day and the angle of the sun in the sky when shooting. Anyway, in most condition I do set the WB in-camera before shooting UV, but this is just to visualize the outcome before shooting, as Photoshop (or ACR that is) would not show the image with that WB because of its limits; I still need to do the WB expansion as I usually do with infrared shots. The results, though, from the in-camera view and what shows on the monitor can vary drastically. I can use my WB Disc to calibrate the WB in-camera, but the disc does take the "mean" or "average" of the available light after all, and not a single point like the case in Photoshop or ACR; and here lies the difference I guess.

UV Selfie 3

So, sometimes to cut it out with all that perplexing color, I would sometimes consider converting to B&W, and actually I do see most of UV shots and videos to be converted to B&W instead of being left in colors. Probably because it is more... dramatic? mysterious? contrast-y? If this is really the reason I have to say it does indeed do the job, but I do prefer to convert to B&W in Photoshop itself instead of ACR to have more control with the masks and other tools. As it can be seen in UV Selfie 3, the selfie looks almost like a "low-key" shot if not for the bright background. This literally gives me some ideas for the future actually, but for the time being let's just stick to the sun and how it works. The left side of the face (my right side) was actually too dark that I had to lighten it manually by some tools and stuff. Still though, the shaky is a killer and those selfies do look, maybe, fine in small sizes, yet in their original sizes they are some catastrophes!
Away from the selfies, I've also worked with flowers in the yard, or should I say whatever left of them? Well, shooting a flower almost, always, calls for a macro procedure and so I did. The struggle was to focus (checking the monitor) under the harsh sun; Not even a LiveView cover was useful to block the sun rays and put my eyes at ease with the LiveView. The other struggle was with the breeze, and for this I had to raise the ISO. After many clicking, I've finally got one (somewhat) suitable shot to process with "minimum" shake. 

UV Bloom I

As seen in UV Bloom I, the final image had been cropped in panoramic style just to remove the excess of unneeded details (specially from the background). The background also had a serious work to blur it as I was using f/8, and this is natural with most of the work in macro photography; In fact it is even advisable to use more than f/8 but since I'm having troubles with the shutter speed I thought I should just keep it at f/8, aiming also to keep the bloom in acceptable sharpness since my vision was shaky in that situation. Worth noting that UV Bloom I was also edited using LAB technique to enhance the colors, and consequently, I had to reduce the saturation for some of them. Anyway, starting from that point I began to test various editing techniques, like in infrared photography, with channel swapping. Of course I could've just turned everything to B&W but I think it would kill the beauty of the bloom somehow here. 

UV Bloom II
Red/Blue channel swap.

UV Bloom III
Red/Blue + Blue/Green channels swap.

Probably, if not in B&W, the last version of this processed image, UV Bloom III, would be the typical look for UV images. There are other techniques I wanted to try, like merging a normal shot and a UV shot, but goes without saying how many hurdles are involved here making the job next to impossible, specially with the breeze going on and off. I'll just satisfy myself with this trend right now. 
Now, I do have my hopes with the new acquired blacklights, and I've made a test already to see if they are reliable enough. I admit that I'm impressed, but still some practical work is needed here. Despite being faintly lit to the naked eye, but with the camera and the corresponding filters (and despite the lens being coated with anti-UV coating), the exposure times were relatively fast at relatively lower ISOs. Promising. Also, I've made a quick sun-screen test, and I've finally achieved the look that I was aiming for; The black skin under UV while looking normal in regular shooting (just like in the video below).  


With this, I'm already planning for a new shooting project, involving my poor brother of course. However, I might as well do it alone. With this now, I can satisfy myself with those selfies as no black spots or freckles show in my face (or my brother's), probably because we are Middle Easterners and our skin is just adapted to sun differently. I guess such freckles would show more on a fair skin like that for Europeans or so. The sun-screen test was just what I need to give my mind and heart a rest that I am indeed shooting UV (with the help of blacklights of course!).

Bulbul

Life was not all about photography in this little vacation I had. I had the chance to write a bit. But I don't want to post all the "eggs" in one "basket" so I'm posting here a poem I've written about 2 weeks ago (in fact it was finished along with my previous post here). This piece was inspired by our little Bulbul (probably related to the Nightingale), who despite being unable to fly because of its broken wing, it does give out melodies (and I would join sometimes) - specially for seeking some freedom out of the cage.

Aman Aman

Not black and white but splashing colors,
worldly, such a never ending course.
No left, no right, nor wrong or even just,
aman aman, nor my mind I can trust.

Aman aman, O trembling bulbul,
tweeting loudly in a funeral?
How does your spirit work I wonder indeed,
for seldom a smile had been in my need.

Seldom does it shine, if would, it could,
for sorrows I never understood.
O bulbul to whom the tweet and the dance?
or maybe a salute to some past romance?

Salute me by the morn or by noon,
whether under the heat or the moon.
Take this core where it never had befitted,
in hope! May my grinning face be permitted.

When the blooms of May may surrender,
and off life bereft be the tender.
Lull me O bulbul, and put me to sleep,
Aman aman, my eyes need not to weep.

This one went quiet, for the time being, even though I've put it in some contest on Writing.com to be reviewed. I've based the poem on simple quatrain style (a a b b) and tried my best to keep the syllables count at (9 9 10 10) successively. With the help of Verse Perfect of course. In this poem, beside all these metering stuff (which I don't quite understand because I'm not a poet myself and I didn't study those already), I tried here to take one word from the last line in each quatrain and include it in the first line of the next quatrain after. Mentally, I was performing a chaining up for ideas in my mind and that how it felt like.
It seems most, if not all, of my poems are either melancholic or nostalgic. After all, this is how I started writing them in my late teens. Should I change? Yet, how? What I write is really how I feel, and it was the main vent (and still is) for my feelings which I seldom take out of my brain and away from my tongue. Left to say, there is indeed a third poem which I've written this week but I'll keep it for the next post.

Finale

As I've promised by the beginning of this post, here is the panorama which got the gold medal in the Panorama theme on Trierenberg Circuit, embedded from 360Cities - so people with smartphones might be able to view this panorama while moving their phone to move around the panorama itself (I suppose, if not, check the main website for this one).

The Smile Giver

Now, after this gold medal, I'm not sure where to go. But I'm just satisfied with how things went on with this panorama specifically, since I've participated in the contest just for it solely and to show it to people outside to let them, at least, wonder who is this man in the portraiture and what does he mean to us. I consider this gold medal as a surplus and a sweet reward over my real intentions. As a next step, I might (just might) think of participating with this panorama specifically in other contests, and maybe get it exhibited as well. It's a rush of serotonin that I lingered for in such a long time now and I really need it amid my frequent anxiety and panic attacks; Something to tell me, that things will be alright, sooner or later, but let's hope so soon as I can't bear much to later…

The Nadir...

Well, here we are. A first week in the working force of this country and technically, doing nothing for the time being. But I'm expected to do a lot in the coming few months. Field trips mainly, beside some lab work probably. With Mom's schedules, I think I won't have a day of free time the whole week (weekends are not counted in).
I've started the procedure here to make an appointment for a general eye check and to see if I do suffer any "extra" stuff - mainly, the retinitis pigmentosa, which is a hereditary problem in the family. It's funny how I'm doing all of that when I'm back to work already and didn't do them when I was free already!

No signs for fixing my car any time soon. However, the garage people keep giving me hopes about it which makes me not sure yet to either believe or disbelieve in such spirits. On the bright side, I've finally managed to get my shipment which was held in the customs all the holiday's period and now I have 2 books to read (almost finished one already!) and some tiny stuff for my camera work. Anyway, this week, I've decided to do some bits of a project and put my thoughts in a single lane instead of thinking or waiting for inspiration to hit. More of that below.

Nadir

I had this idea in my head for a while in the past week and didn't come to work with it till this week in fact. I don't remember exactly what inspired me to think of such a project but probably it is George Barr's blog post which included some photos taken at a hill or a cliff. Anyway, probably I should explain a bit what is Nadir.
The word Nadir is usually mentioned in the context of panoramas. The nadir point is the point directly under the photographer and generally it is the hardest to take in the process of shooting a panorama. Now, to the historical part. The word Nadir is derived from the Arabic word Nadheer [النظير] which means "the opposite (point)". Arab scholars (mainly astronomers and astrologers) used this name because this point is the opposite of the Zenith (Arabic: Al-Sumt [السمت]), which is the point directly above the viewer's head.

Liquid Solid
An old shot that probably inspired me beside George Barr's post?

So, what this is all about? The whole process is actually simple. In one time in my life, I was obsessed with panoramas and I would think of a panorama wherever I go and try to do a panorama wherever I settle. Same thing went on for HDR (even though HDR making is now a habit or a second nature to me). I though, since I'm not getting much inspiration for any photography plans maybe I would just concentrate on a trend and try to see through it. This might as well would help me to somehow master a technique or two. This new trend is taking pictures from above like if I'm taking the nadir point in panoramas but with elevated camera. How ironic that I've just read a chapter in my new book about Aerial Photography!

Nadir
Rokinon 8mm fisheye, f/11, HDR, ISO100.

The results can hardly be predicted, for the time being. You will see below that there are some images that I just didn't like but I enjoyed the experimenting. One of the first images, however, was Nadir. The technical aspect for the shot and stabilizing the camera is a terrifying experiment - at any moment the camera can simply slide out of the grip and go down. This shot specifically was taken from the top of the roof of my home looking down from one side which has a brick tiling roof (happens to be above my room's window). I've taken several shots at some different elevations by changing the central column of the tripod itself and because the lateral arm and the camera combination can and would flip the whole tripod over, I had to have a firm hand at the tripod and the camera's belt.

Flat Perspective
Rokinon 8mm fisheye, f/11, HDR, ISO100.

The Rokinon fisheye (and generally, fisheyes) are my favorite choice when shots from elevated space are considered. They add depth and encompass more scenery into the view, and with the help of DxO nowadays, the distortion can somehow be adjusted as in Flat Perspective. The shot for Flat Perspectve is different than Nadir; the former was done with the central column raised higher while the latter was done with the central column was down. Raising the central column high actually helped me to crop safely without cropping much from the body of the roof, this is because when the lens is raised higher, more adjacent spaces for the roof gets included in the view, and with flattening the image, these parts will eventually be cropped and deleted. One of the hardships of taking pictures in such manner is that you can't really plan for a center. Just take it and manage whatever you can manage later. If I had or have a helping hand, I would surely connect the portable monitor as the camera is dangling in the air and try to adjust the position, while the other person is holding the gear firmly. Adding weights is an option but working with them would be hard and impractical when moving from one place to another.

Bird In My Yard
Rokinon 8mm fisheye, f/11,
30^-1sec, ISO100.

My next target then was the balcony, overlooking the yard of the house. The shot was taken in the morning time. After waiting for a day to check for the shadows at different times of the day, I've realized that no interesting or pronounced shadows are produced in the yard, and thus I though that the morning time is the best as there are virtually no shadows in the yard.
The situation in the balcony was shaky because the ground was a bit slippery and the legs of the tripod did slide a bit (and had to use a brick I've found there to hold it firm). The tripod itself was going to trip over as well because the lateral arm was extended to its full length almost; this is just to try to put the camera as far away from the rail as possible. Even though I did shoot for HDR (with the help of a timer of course) yet I chose only one shot from the bracket to process. The image needed lot of work with DxO and yet it's not to my liking but I did like the experiment anyway. I did crop to align some lines to the frame accordingly.

Geometrical Coma
Canon EF 15mm fisheye, f/11,
0.5sec, ISO400.

The main hall was also a target and I was ambitious about it, but unfortunately, my current gear didn't help me with it and I do have to improvise as it seems. The idea is to hang the camera (safely) onto the light fixture and trigger it either with the cable remote somehow, or even better with the IR remote (but it would give a shorter timer period). Anyway, after the fail, I headed elsewhere. The stairs. The situation at the stairs wasn't any better; dangling my camera from the third floor's staircase to look at the lower floor staircase has its own dangers as well. I tried to improvise a way to stabilize the camera but no avail. Finally, I've found myself holding the camera and dangling it by holding its strip firmly. In this experiment specifically, I've tried several lenses to encompass the right elements but probably the best I liked were the 15mm fisheye lens (after rectification and cropping) as you can see in Geometrical coma and the shot done with my 50mm lens, Dementia.

Dementia
Canon EF 50mm, f/11, 0.6sec, ISO400

As you can see from the shots on the stairs, the ISO is raised here to compensate for the shake, and the camera's mode was set to Av. I've put my trust in the camera here to get the right exposure time (which was relatively slow but enough). In close-up, there is still some shake in the images but probably less noticeable when in small size. Both images, Geometrical Coma and Dementia needed some rectification to make the lines as straight as possible. Both of them would be classified as abstracts I presume.
Many places run through my head right now but first of all I need to get some proper gear to hang the camera when it is required to do so. As for the time being, I have to rely on improvising. Even though there are some DIY solutions to such problem, but it requires some time and a space to achieve the purpose and build the gear.

Finale

Source: Amazon

At the current time, I'm digesting the first book that arrived finally: The Wild Side of Photography. This book in fact didn't bring much new things to me and doesn't go deep into the topics. It is a collection of articles written by various photographers, each to his or her own field. Ironically, there is an article about aerial photography and the use of kites at the time that I'm planning for more nadir or bird-view shots. This field of photography is out of my reach and probably will never do it but it is inspiring after all. My nadir shots are mostly in confined places and without winds, quite the opposite of aerial photography, in which winds and spaces are critical. Interesting topics and I've almost finished the book in 3 days only - only few is left to read.
I need some more time to test my other gadgets, specially the RoundFlash which is a substitute for the ring flash somehow (and it can be used for portraiture as well). The other critical gadget is my IR gel filter from Kodak, which looks darker and more opaque than my round IR filter (from B+W). I'm hesitant to cut this gel filter into a small square to fit into the 15mm fisheye lens but I guess sacrifices have to be done here. I'm just afraid that it won't work as I wish because of the opaqueness of the filter.

The nice weather now is fixing a bit of my spirit that got shattered during the summer and the problems of the summer. I have my wish now to see my car fixed again, as my financial situation is, not shaky, but not advancing either. Mom keeps asking me from time to time, whether I'm going to travel or not, or why wouldn't I travel. All what I have as an answer is: I can't. Life is weird, but even weirder, are the people living in it.

Gushing and Jamming...

Not much in this week, except that I'm trying to somehow put down my camera for a while and have a bit of fun. Fun that is needed. The gene of traveling is hitting on my nerves again and I wish right now if I was somewhere on some tropical island with exotic scenery. I do miss Ireland so much.

I've been working on a regular pace with my vocalization project doing 4 verses everyday. The process is now going smoothly and fast rhymed. In the beginning there is something like a fear from the mic, but after few trials, everything becomes normal and the engine goes fast with vocalizing and editing. Hoping to increase the amount of verses done per day from 4 to 6. With such a pace, probably I would be over with this project before the end of June! If no sickness occurs that is, like last Monday. The recent portion done expands from 433 to 1008. Such a gap in one week that makes me... optimistic.

I've been working on some images from the the Scientific Center the past few days and trying to prepare a sort of a digital portfolio to show the management of the gift shop. Anyway, after some phone calls, seems they are not interested even before they see what I've got; all what was there is a promise of a phone call, and I know this usually means "back off".
As I was working on some of images, I've noticed some images in sequences that, with a little movement between one image and the next, inspired me to try out and do a 3D images out of them. They are included in the CD portfolio as well.

Chlidonias hybrida (?)

You can see the depth of the image for yourself, that is if you own a 3D glasses, by staring at the point where the legs of the bird meet the rock surface upon which it is standing. The first image encouraged me to look further for other sequences I've taken. I think the best sequence was for this bird, and it was unintentional of course. However, another chance somehow showed up with a shot of a fish (which I don't know its exact name).

3D Fish

This anaglyph (i.e. 3D image) is not as good as the previous one though, for some reasons. In the making of the 3D image, two images are needed with a slight tilt in the viewing angle, and the two images are then aligned at a certain point that would be the center of the focus. In the fish's image, this point was the head, which is not in center of the image. It gives some good depth when looking at the end, but a strong ghosting occurs at the tail because of the wide angle movement between the two slides.
These two images were enough to spark my hunger for more 3D images and experiments. I just need the proper environment for now.

Nirvana Penguin

There were some images that I did adjust some aspects for, like the Nirvana Penguin, where I added an additional blur to the penguin of the right, to make the eye concentrate more on the other penguin.
But there are other disappointments; some big ones. The panorama that was supposed to be a major one, that is the one for the main tank in the Scientific Center, did not turn well with lot of smudging points. Such smudging points usually occur because of some high differences in exposures between various areas under the stitch. However, this panorama is a single-shot panorama (i.e. not a HDR one) and probably, adding to this reason, the movement in some scenes added to the confusion. Trying to fix it in the stitcher itself failed, and definitely not a good idea to fix it in Photoshop.
 On the other hand, there was a good, to some extent, panorama that I had some hopes for.

Corridor Silhouette

I was hesitating as whether I should stitch single shots, or do it in HDR. However, after mingling a bit with the single-shot panorama, I've decided to go on with the HDR option since it gives more control over the light. I had some portions cropped from the left and right to centralize the silhouette (I hope the lady won't mind me taking her picture!). Many adjustment layers were added to emphasize the silhouette (which was lighter) and add some contrast and enhance the level of other lights in the scene. Another area benefited from the HDR technique is the topmost portion (the ceiling) which was completely black with no details showing.

Greenhouse (LP)

Beside the images above, I've added some projections of the same panorama of the Greenhouse (as I call it so) and other panoramas for the outside portion of the Scientific Center. However, up till this post is written, not all images (single shots that is) that were taken that day were explored still.
Maybe one of the significant discoveries if I should say is the interesting look made up by the Full-Frame projection for the panorama of the outside portion. This projection is seldom used, and I've realized now that it just mimics the effect of an extreme wide angle lens (say, sunnex lens) on a full-frame sensor. I can say it is a new artistic consideration to be considered now whenever I do panoramas.

Outside (Full-Frame)

Another discovery is that, what I used to call a Wide-View projection and spend few minutes adjusting the angles for a proper view (starting out from Little Planet projection), it is called, simply, the Stereo projection which is implemented in the software itself already. However, that doesn't mean we should leave it at that, but certainly there are some changes in the viewing angle after all. It is such an expansion in the viewing horizon for any panorama that I would do in the future that makes a gush of feeling and a mix up of emotions; think of it: Every projection yields a specific feeling!!!

However, the Outside panorama gave me some hard time with the nadir as usual and the patching or cloning process was not to my liking but I guess it is the best I can do for now; and no there was no chance I would use other techniques to capture the nadir point. The nadir point in the previous panorama, The Greenhouse, was relatively easy to be fixed for the nature of the ground itself which was almost plain.
Ironically, despite all these troubles with the nadir, more or less, the stitching and linking the images together went smoothly and very well. I seldom stitch such easily-done panoramas! This anyway encouraged me to do a QTVR though I didn't have any plans for it.

QTVRs

Sometimes, doing QTVRs is just about what kind of convention we have in mind prior to the beginning of the work. I did spend some time thinking about it myself and I've asked: Why would someone want to look to the ground? What's so interesting about it? Is it really worthwhile to take all this hardships to snap a shot for the nadir point in whatever method?
After all, I've realized that only in rare occasions, the nadir point is that important. In most cases, just like the coming two QTVRs below, the nadir points are not that important and do not add a significant texture to the whole scene; since they resemble the ground itself which is viewable from different points of view. Only in rare occasions as I've mentioned above, the nadir point is important, like when the tripod is placed on top if a textured tiles cluster and the design is important because it has a significant look and view.

Some logo can be added to the QTVR process in the place of the nadir point, in case of authenticity is required of course, but if that is not even required, the QTVR can be simply done with limiting the vertical viewing angle. If you think about it, it is not only more practical, but also more reasonable and realistic! People do not walk and stare at their feet while they walk all the time, do they? This said, however, it is better to stitch a nadir slide because it has some portions of the background on the sides of the tripod head that would show up. After that, we can limit the view while making the QTVR. The resulting image would be a small circle at -90 that don't add much to the whole wonder of the QTVR viewing, thus it is removed by limiting the vertical viewing angle. In my case, the vertical range would be typically set from +90 degrees down to -60 to -80 degrees.






The quality in the small versions are not quite good as it is in the large versions of course. In the previous QTVR I've converted a whole panorama with the nadir point being cloned out. Since the original image was also intended to be shown, it has my watermark as it is.
In my second QTVR, however, the nadir point was more critical and hence I've limited the tilt (vertical view) to the range of +90 to -70. The QTVR is smaller because there were issued with the clarity of the pixels, but such problem is not an issue with the original large version.






Well, it has been a busy week for now and I'm thinking of having some rest and play some games while continuing my vocalization. After my last phone call with KSC, and after being forgotten by the Marina Mall directors, I feel so tired of trying out to pronounce my name. I know it is not easy to start such a business trend specially in such a place where I live, but I need to gather myself little bit and have some fun. A fun that I didn't catch up with for a really long time....